BIL dropped my two nephews off this evening as I'm looking after them for the weekend while my sister is away. This is fine, I offered. They've had a stressful time lately so thought it might help.
Anyway he stayed for a coffee and proceeded to moan about a couple of incidents between him, my sister and some other people. I could kind of see his point to an extent and acknowledged that, he was having a bit of a rant. Fine.
Anyway he then decided to tell me he also thought it was 'bullshit' that I mistakenly thought my sisters birthday fell on a Monday when it actually fell on the Tuesday, he said he's funny about things like that...my sister birthdays are special to him, and she's my sister for gods sake, I should know when her birthday is. But it's ok because he doesn't mind saying it to me (?) WTF?
I don't know if I'm being irrational but the more I think about it it's really pissing me off! He's one of these 'tell it like it is' people which basically means he complains about bloody everything, takes every oversight or mistake people make as something personal with an underlying motive and I'm sick of it! To put it into context and not dripfeed, he's referring to the fact that in one phonecall I said to my sister 'that's good your birthday falls on Tue and I'm child free that day so shall I come over and bring breakfast?' She said no it's Monday, I said oh yes so it is my mistake and that was that. Is that a big deal then or am I on another planet? I didn't FORGET her birthday, in fact I was the only sibling that did visit her especially - I just momentarily miscounted the days.
I'm so sick of his nitpicking - but actually is my attitude too blase? I genuinely am wondering!
AIBU?
Am I a bad sister then or is BIL completely ott?
moominmarvellous · 07/02/2014 20:32
Thing is even if it was a case of your bil white knighting for your sister, taking offence over the 'birthday incident' is fricking ridiculous.
To over analyse the whole conversation - you were making plans for her bloody birthday even though it was the wrong date, not blanking or suggesting something completely irrelevant. Oh and it was all before so easily put right. I haven't got enough eyes to roll tbh.
I suppose you've two options. 1) keep Scthum for the sake of keeping the peace and stealthily punch their bread when you get chance - I'm a wimp and this is my preferred option 
or 2) start a conversation with "I know you two like straight talking, so I think you ought to know how you come across when you decide someone's in the wrong....." And then offload. They won't like it though and will inform you that you're just being oversensitive to their honesty and it's people like them saving society one truth at a fucking time.
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Yanbu, but it's seems like they both are very ott people. I wouldn't have even thought of mentioning something like that to my DH. I don't even know what day my own birthday falls on this year 
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