To feel uncomfortable borrowing money from PIL?(7 Posts)
DH and I moved into our first house 6 months ago. Despite a survey giving the all clear, there have been numerous problems that have cost £££, such rewiring entire house, replacing extension roof etc.
Because of this, our carefully hoarded savings are shot. Then, with the recent rains, we made another unpleasant discovery: the exterior render, which looked fine, is apparently a cheapo job and water is leaking into the house. Obviously we need to re-render ASAP. But we just don't have the approx 5k in savings anymore.
So we have to borrow. Besides our mortgage, I have never borrowed in my life and feel quite uncomfortable getting into debt. But I don't see another way, otherwise our house will become seriously damaged.
At Christmas, PIL mentioned that they were lending DH brother and SIL money for home improvements, charging only the interest on their savings account, so they wouldn't lose financially by the loan. They said if we ever wanted money they would do the same for us.
I thanked them but secretly vowed never to. I feel uncomfy borrowing, and don't like introducing money into family relationships. I really like PIL but I'd feel awful being personally beholden like that. With the bank, it is just business.
DH says this is nonsense and the bank will charge us way more interest and we should just take them up on their offer. He says I am paying out money for "an imaginary principle".
AIBU - or stupidly proud?
YABU. It's quite normal for family to want to help each other when they can, and you are lucky they are in a position to do so. A bank loan would be a lot more expensive and the only people to gain would be the bank.
You could always get a contract drawn up if you wanted to make it more official - stating how and when you will pay back the money. That might make you feel more comfortable.
My PIL always offer things like this, which is nice of them, but personally I really don't like feeling beholden. How about interest free credit card in the short term? Also, I'd be questioning why no one picked up on the fact you needed a rewire. Did you get an independent electrician to check?
Walt - bank loan or PIL! Bank loan will not be a problem as I always pay my credit card in full, have never borrowed other than mortgage and have always paid or overpaid that. I rang bank today and got some different quotes for loans and we could meet their repayment terms with only a minimum of belt tightening.
Xmas hmmmm it is not that it is unofficial but that it is personal.... If I can't pay the bank I ring them and we organise a payment holiday or they seize my home or whatever. With PIL, I am asking a favour. I just don't like it... Changes the character of the relationship IMO!
Wibbly sorry skated over details. They did pick it up but right before closure so we'd pretty much committed, and we thought fuck it, 1500 quid, we have savings.
Only then it was another grand for the extension roof, and this, and that.... And now we only have 1k left in savings! Eeek.
It really depends on your relationship with your in-laws - if you feel that they would be holding it over your heads and making demands on you based on the loan, then you're right not to. If they are pleasant people and you have a good relationship, I don't see why not. They obviously don't NEED the money at the moment, and they would probably prefer that it was doing you some good than sitting in the bank. I would hate to think that my son wouldn't want to borrow from me in the future because his partner might feel beholden - I would rather help him out than have him line some bank's coffers for money that I could easily spare him.
You could always go for the best of both worlds - borrow the funds from your in-laws, and if you feel uncomfortable with it down the line, take out a bank loan to pay it back.
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