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AIBU?

To think its none of sils business??

19 replies

wispa31 · 04/01/2014 16:42

happy new year ladies! :) hope everyone had a lovely christmas!
Currently off on mat leave til august, ehich will be full year off. As ive mentioned elsewhere on mn i work in the csa :( due to getting pg i moved in with dp, to his (mortgaged) home, which is nearly 70 miles away from my office now. Im hoping and praying they will be able to help get a transfer to an office nearer home as even if i was only doing a 3 day week i couldnt afford the fuel expenses on top of our other bills etc. So, i am enrolled onto a part time course starting in feb to allow me to work in dps performance centre (gym) taking booty camp classes etc. I also am trained to do hair though never formally trained for it.
I had intended on contacting my team leader at work next week to arrange to see hr dept about transfer etc. I do not intend to not work as id hate relying on dp for money.
This morning, his sister was in getting her hair blowdried and she started asking me what i was doing about returning to work, have i sorted transfer etc. I told her i was for looking into it all next week, that i had a few options also as i did not want to be going back to that office as too far. She then said oh but you will have to go back if you cant get moved until such times you get sorted, you may go to jobcentre here too and see.
She made me feel soo uncomfortable and basically shit for even thinking about not going back there after mat leave finishes, it seemed to me that not working is not an option (not that it is for me cos i cant afford it) aibu to think its none of her business? And not her place to be pressuring me about work? Thjs is the 2nd time she has brought it up aswell, so god knows whats been said to dp about it. Really i feel that its for me to sort out and a discussion to be had with dp and not her. Sil takes far too much of an interest in all her brothers affairs (theres 4 brothers).
Sorry its long! Thanks if still reading! Xx

OP posts:

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maddy68 · 04/01/2014 16:48

Was she really pressuring? Or was she just making conversation.
Sounds like your feeling a bit sensitive about the situation and perhaps reading too much into it?

wispa31 · 04/01/2014 17:05

It was not her just making conversation. The first time she brought it up a few weeks back i let it go as that but this is 2nd time she has been asking what i intend to do about work.

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Losthearts · 04/01/2014 17:07

Is asking more than once pressurising? Maybe she is just interested

Jengnr · 04/01/2014 17:09

I'm on mat leave at the moment. EVERYONE asks you about when you're going back to work. It's just conversation.

Blu · 04/01/2014 17:12

Unless more has been said it sounds as if she is interested, concerned on your behalf (as she knows your job is far away and that you want to work, presumably) and is making conversation.

Why do you think she would be pressurising you?

RedPencilPot · 04/01/2014 17:18

Does she work? Does she have children?

Finola1step · 04/01/2014 17:27

Blimey. You're not due back until August, so you're still in your 1st half of your ML. If you choose to have conversations with your HR dept, then that is your choice and yours alone (along with discussing with your DP of course).

You do not need to explain yourself to anyone. Try saying "yep, it's all in hand. How was your weekend?" And refuse to be drawn into the conversation with anyone, including SIL. Before you know it, your ML will be up, you will be running round like a blue arsed fly trying to juggle everything. Enjoy your ML while you still have it!

wispa31 · 05/01/2014 12:05

She is the only one who is asking,i havent had anyone else ask me, not even dp. there was a full conversation about it before i knew it, Same as before. She doesnt have a partner or kids herself. She really gave the impression that she cant see why i cant just go back to work like its no big deal. As i said in my op, she takes too much interest in her brothers business. Shes been and let herself into our house a couple of times and re arranged my kitchen cupboards and dps clothes cupboards to how she thinks it should be. (dp was told to make it clear it wasnt to happen again and i moved it all back) so i know its not just her way of making conversation and being interested. She made me feel like i should be out jobhunting and not sitting on my arse, when actually, i have a 16 week old baby to look after and a house to run and i should be enjoying ehats left of my mat leave, which is still a good 7 months!

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wispa31 · 05/01/2014 12:10

Apologies if i didnt make it clear in my op what was said, just made me so angry. There was a full convo, with her qyestioning me and kept saying that i need to work and that il have to go back and do this and that.
Its hard to explain but i know she wasnt just asking iuswim.

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Jengnr · 05/01/2014 12:15

Just tell her to fuck off then.

As for letting herself into your house :o :o :o Change the locks!!

Blu · 05/01/2014 12:55

Well, yes, in that case she is well out of order!

Next time she starts say 'you seem very concerned about all this, can you explain why you take so much interest in the way DH and I run our lives?' .

wispa31 · 05/01/2014 13:13

Oh she doesnt let herself in now. Dp had a word and told her its not on.
I will be speaking to dp later to tell him she has been asking and that i will not be having a another discussion with her on it so he can tell her to back off.

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TheFabulousIdiot · 05/01/2014 13:33

Your best move would be to have all the relevant conversations you need to have with DP about all your options and then you will have a plan.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 05/01/2014 15:29

Next time, tell her you've decided that you are going to chuck it in after maternity leave. And see her reaction. Follow that up with it really isn't any of her business.

Hissy · 05/01/2014 15:37

Deffo do what MumofTwo says.

YA(Absolutely)NBU

SIL has no business asking you.

I'd ask 'Why do you want to know?' and 'I fail to see why you would be interested so deeply in my life.'

wispa31 · 07/01/2014 12:58

One of the older brothers is married and 3 dd's, wife is sahm, from the start. They are all in school now and as far as i know she still sahm/housewifey type, id love to know what she thinks about that...

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diddl · 07/01/2014 13:22

She's over involved.

Why does she even know that you are thinking of transferring?

Tell her nothing about your lives!

Custardo · 07/01/2014 13:25

I think you should tell her

its a convo between you and her

you tell her

wispa31 · 07/01/2014 15:00

Diddl- yip, too involved in others business. Ive already spoke to dp about it. There wont be any more convos. I am well aware i have shit to sort re work before i go back and once me and dp have discussed ideas it will be sorted then. Right now i want to enjoy my mat leave without feeling like a jobless lazy arse bum.

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