Will try and keep this succinct....
FIL died suddenly a year ok. MIL lives a good 2 1/2 drive from us, in a hosue they had only moved to a year previously which is in a small village and she doesn't drive. She is not an outgoing person nor particularly independent (for example we had show her how to use the oven when FIL died, she sends us unopened post to deal with, she cannot/will not deal with anything that us outside her very small comfort zone). She is not particularly old - mid 60s.
She has decided that she wants to move up near us. We're happy with this- it makes a lot of sense for a lot of reasons.
We have chosen an area for her which we really likes - decent selection of shops, a GPs, dentists, vets etc - and have shown her a number of properties in the vicinity all of which haven't been suitable for one reason or another.
She has now got an offer on her house and its a very short chain. She is terrified of losing her buyer and in her words is now 'desperate' to move (for the sale to proceed and because she apparently 'hates' it where she currently is). She has offered on a house here and it has been accepted. However I think it's a mistake.
The house is nothing like what she originally wanted. It's a semi and she was she adamant she wanted a detached. It's further away from the town centre than she wanted - a good 15 min walk, she wanted under 10. It's in a poor state of decoration - at the least it needs a new bathroom and the ceilings and walls plastered in most rooms. The biggest thing for me is that it doesn't have central heating. It has storage heaters, and nothing at all in the kitchen, bathroom and hallway.
Bearing in mind that this is a elderly lady, recently bereaved, who doesnt cope well with change and disruption I don't think this house is the right decision.
DH and my BIL both take the view that its her decision and that if she thinks she can cope with it then its fine. I take the view that the move needs to be easy and this is not easy. Added to this is the BIL and his family live abroad and DH works 13 hour days (with his commute) and we have two small children. At the end of the day it will be me who deals with the fallout of the move when she can't work the heaters, needs a lift somewhere etc etc. All of which I am happy to do, within reason. But this house just makes an already difficult move, even more difficult.
AIBU to want to be able to influence the decision and have people listen to my concerns?
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AIBU?
AIBU to want a say in this? Warning MIL related!
69 replies
Odfod · 07/11/2013 14:19
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