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AIBU?

to tell her she has to wear nappies?

19 replies

aaaahyouidiot · 26/10/2013 13:08

DD is 3.1. She was totally potty trained in March, reverted to having accidents a few times a week in May, and has been mostly fine since.

For the last 6 weeks or so she's been leaving it much too late to go to the loo. She is peeing all over the bathroom floor, the toilet and her clothes a couple of times a week. Even when she makes it, her knickers are often dribbled-on.

She's in her third change of clothes today. I've put a nappy on her and she's upset.

DS clicked in a week, was dry night and day aged 2.4 and almost never had accidents, which I know is very good, but I'm not sure if my expectations are too high with DD as a result. It's infuriating though.

OP posts:

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GogoGobo · 26/10/2013 13:13

Ummm, of course YABU. Try being patient instead of doing what is easiest for you and regressive for her! She is 3, not 13

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 26/10/2013 13:15

Have you taken her to the GP to check if she has a UTI? I think 'punishing ' her with a nappy (maybe not your intention, but how she feels if she's upset) might be a bit counter-productive. I would check for physical reasons as she's been potty trained so long before assuming she's doing it deliberately. Are there other reasons she could be wetting? Is she wearing heavier clothes that are harder to remove? Try letting her run around in the minimum, maybe just knickers and see if that helps with getting there in time. What does she say the problem is?

ohforfoxsake · 26/10/2013 13:15

You can't really compare kids for things like this - two of mine got if really quickly but had accidents, the other two took ages but no accidents.

Personally I wouldn't put a nappy on her. I understand your frustration but you need to take her to the loo/remind her to go more frequently and keep a look out for signs she needs to pee. Putting a nappy on is going backwards IMHO, and you need to move forwards and get her in the habit if going and recognising the signs for herself.

It happens. It's a pain in the arse admittedly.

paxtecum · 26/10/2013 13:24

You need to keep reminding her and even take her to the loo and wait until she wees.
You could set a timer so you don't loose track of time, it will remind you to remind her.

Some parents have reward chart - is that worth trying?

aaaahyouidiot · 26/10/2013 13:46

I'm never done reminding and taking her. Most recent accident happened after I'd reminded her to go, she'd said she didn't need to, and I insisted she try. In fairness I was busy so sent her upstairs ahead of me but there were soaked pants by the time I got there 2 minutes later. All her trousers are elasticated soft waistbands for this reason.

She's never been motivated by reward charts but I suppose she's been young for them until now so perhaps we'll have a go with that, thank you. And I hadn't considered UTIs although her frequency is normal and she seems fine otherwise.

OP posts:

killpeppa · 26/10/2013 13:48

pull up pants an option?

aaaahyouidiot · 26/10/2013 13:49

Sorry that's what I meant when I said nappy - she wears pull ups at night anyway.

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SillyTilly123 · 26/10/2013 13:52

I've done this recently with dd3, but just at night. She was dry for a few months but started peeing the bed at least once a night, I put up with it for over a month as the weather was ok so could get her duvet washed and dried, but now the weather is bad again ive had to put nappies back on her and will try again in the spring. (shes 3.5) She didnt like it at first, but my sanity comes 1st lol

Saying that though, I dont know if I would through the day as its more of a big deal. Just keep reminding her to go.

Canthisonebeused · 26/10/2013 13:52

I wouldn't put a nappy on her tbh. I would get her checked out for by the dr. Begin to incorporate regular toilet breaks in the day wether she needs it or not and reward using the toilet. At a last resort I would begin to lightly sanction wetting incidents, not sure id be comfortable by this too much though. But I did use sitting on the stairs a couple of times after dd had similar absent minded accidents at similar age. But it didn't sit too comfortable at the time so I did stop and opted for a more rewarding approach.

TwoStepsBeyond · 26/10/2013 13:55

My dd was rubbish compared to both DSs but I don't think it's fair to compare them tbh. It is frustrating but she's still really little, I think we expect a lot more from second and third ones. I'm sure it's (almost) as annoying for her as it is for you, so she will get it in her own time. Try to be patient.

bubalou · 26/10/2013 14:00

I'm sorry I'm really not sure about putting her back in nappies, it's like you're punishing her.

I agree with the poster that said about the doctors. Is she crying, upset or uncomfortable when she goes? She may have an infection or UTI.

There are a lot of things you need to consider - is she doing it for attention? Emotional reasons - upset, new baby in the house?

Have a think and make sure in the mean time you don't keep her in nappies and try to reassure her.

Brittabot · 26/10/2013 14:01

My DS is 3 1/2, and recently started having accidents after having been toilet trained for 9 months. He now gets a sticker if he has kept dry all day (& gone to the toilet without resisting). It's really worked for us as he's gone from wetting himself every day to not at all. His preschool advised not putting him back into nappies as it can be embarrassing for the child (and too much of an easy option!). Good luck!

EricLovesAnyFucker · 26/10/2013 14:06

When I was potty training I had one downstairs. Expecting her to know when she needs to go and get to the bathroom might be a bit much. Ime they don't tend to recognise needing to go until it's immediate.

MrsDarylDixon · 26/10/2013 14:07

Dd1 very often leaves it too late and either has a full on accident or a little spill.

I've learnt to read her cues now and remind her to go. I think you're expecting too much tbh and you need to be more patient.

Putting her in nappies is a step backwards and runs the risk of her creating an issue around going to the loo.

Ease up on her a bit but keep prompting her to go.And buy plenty of dettol and napisan!

pixiepotter · 26/10/2013 14:10

Has she got a UTI? I'd get her pee tested

feebeecat · 26/10/2013 14:15

When DD2 was around that age she started doing something similar, fine in herself but took her to GP and lo, UTI - might be worth getting her checked out.

aaaahyouidiot · 26/10/2013 14:23

Hmmm I definitely think I should have her checked by the GP. She does seem fine in all other respects and there's nothing going on which could have upset her otherwise. We used to have a potty downstairs but she hasn't needed it for months!

I'll make her an appointment on Monday I think.

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ChilliJo · 26/10/2013 15:19

My 3yo DD has gone through 2 episodes of repeated wetting accidents. The first ended up being a UTI and the second threadworms. She was not displaying the expected pain when weeing/itchy bottom symptoms with either. I was just certain that there had to be a reason behind it and I didn't give up until I (excuse pun) got to the bottom of it.

ConfusedPixie · 26/10/2013 16:17

Get her checked, my charge started doing this two weeks ago, after a week she started getting a bit hot so she was checked out and has a UTI. No other symptoms apart from mis-timing wees for a week.

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