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Seriously, finding things out through FB?

(63 Posts)

Brother is at the hospital after been attacked by someone his room mate knows and I only found out because my brothers friend has taken him and commented on FB about it?!

Its not like my brother doesn't have a phone so he could phone us. His mate we have know n years too.

It was also FB where I found out a relative had died and then when the funeral was. Why cant people just pick up a phone?!

SlightlyItchyBraStrap Thu 19-Sep-13 05:49:45

I found out my sister had gotten a divorce on fb. She changed her name on there and a mutual friend noticed and asked me about it. I called my sister to ask if everything was all right. She had been divorced for 3 months.

She was surprised dm and other dsis hadn't mentioned it to me, apparently everyone else knew.

Tee2072 Thu 19-Sep-13 06:23:45

I found out my aunt died via Twitter because my brother was so upset it didn't occur to him that it was the middle of the night here so my mom hasn't called me.

I knew she was dying so it didn't upset me as much as it might have. And my brother apologised for being thoughtless.

That's what it usually is, I find. Lack of thought.

justmakingdo Thu 19-Sep-13 06:38:10

When my Mum died we phoned immediate relatives, then I posted an RIP Mum on my FB.

I didn't want to face ringing everyone to tell them, was upset enough as it was. My Mum was terminally ill though so it was just a matter of time anyway, it wasn't unexpected

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 19-Sep-13 06:38:12

One of the reasons I am still on FB is that I would never know who was engaged / married / pregnant / parents / injured / promoted etc without status updates.

Sad, but true

SillyTilly123 Thu 19-Sep-13 07:00:18

I found out my mam had died via fb (it was expected but she lived away from me). I got a message from my best friend saying "sorry" I was like okay hmm then another message from my cousin saying "sorry for your loss". I quickly checked my mams fb and yep there was a status done by her partner saying she had died that morning. He had apparently tried to ring me but my mobile phone was off, however he could have rang the landline or even a fecking text would have been better than fb. angry I was soooo mad.

Then he "forgot" to mention to the vicar she had a son (they didnt get on) so her funeral was ruined because we were all fuming about that...but thats a different story.

NicknameIncomplete Thu 19-Sep-13 07:15:48

I would be a bit annoyed at your brothers friend. He should have rung or even text you if he didnt want to talk. It would have only taken a few minutes.

Altinkum Thu 19-Sep-13 07:30:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WillSingForCake Thu 19-Sep-13 07:31:16

YANBU, it's inappropriate. I also hate it when someone writes something along the lines of 'so thrilled to hear about your new baby boy' on someone's wall before the new parents had a chance to put something on there themselves.

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Thu 19-Sep-13 08:51:38

I wouldn't announce a death on facebook because older members of my family aren't on there. But pretty much everyone I know announces births/pregnanciest/engagements on facebook and I think it's lovely. People used to put an announcement in the paper - this isn't that different really. I don't follow why anyone would be hurt about that?

I think the brother's friend was probably just very shocked and it's natural to post on facebook about something like that. It is a pity the brother didn't ring, but if he's in hospital he's probably not totally on the ball. I'd be worried but not hurt, I don't think.

Binkyridesagain Thu 19-Sep-13 09:02:33

I found out that my MIL was pissed off at me because she found out her son (my DH) had been beaten up via FB. My DD had posted a message asking all her friends if they had been out that evening and if they saw anything.

I was too busy making sure that my DH was alright to make phone calls. My MIL never came to see her son or grace him with a phone call to check if he was okay or if there was anything she could do for him. My DH now knows where her priorities lie.

Birdsgottafly Thu 19-Sep-13 09:03:57

I like FB for this reason. It depends on the quality of your "friends" though, I suppose.

There have been events that we have asked for a FB blackout, but recently, a RL friend found it easier to play out her early labour and subsiquent death of her son via FB, she didn't want to discuss it and still hasn't properly, yet.

My Mum collapsed in the street and within 30 mins we had been tracked down and got to the hospital as she was thanks to FB.

Hospitals don't have signals, I wouldn't leave someone vulnerable in our A&E to make a call. A don't see what difference it makes, you won't be driving etc when your checking FB, so it could be deemed safer than a txt or call.

mouseymummy Thu 19-Sep-13 09:08:31

I get it sp. My mum announced the birth of dd2 on Feb before I had the chance to tell all my family. She also announced I was having a girl on there too.

I've found out loads on fb. Does my head in. Takes a minute to send a group text.

PurplePidjin Thu 19-Sep-13 09:16:16

My cousin recently got engaged and announced it on fb. She lives 4,000 miles away.

Her mum was over here visiting and didn't find out for a further week hmm

Oh, and she didn't think to warn me. Good job i have a brain and know how to pm!

DameDeepRedBetty Thu 19-Sep-13 09:17:51

We announced dbro's death on FB, but only after contacting everyone as far as first cousins. It was the only way to be certain that as many of his old friends who he'd lost contact with as his alcoholism became more and more of a problem would get to hear about it and be able to attend the funeral. I was terrified that there'd be no-one there but immediate family which would have been devastating for our mum. As it was lots of his old friends did make it and although it was heartbreaking to be reminded of the person he'd once been, it was also lovely.

PrincessKitKat Thu 19-Sep-13 09:24:40

I found out about my Nan's death on FB. It totally knocked the wind out of me.

I understand the hierarchy (if it had been one of my uncles/aunts, fair enough) and I also understand it's some peoples way of dealing with grief, letting people know funeral arrangements etc. but this person must have literally put down the phone, and got on FB to 'share'. Give it a couple of hours, FGS.

To me it was totally inappropriate. Sharing news of her death so quickly amongst the check ins at Frankie and Bennys & photos of babies and cats showed no respect for my nan or other family and it felt like it had been done for all the 'aw hunz, u ok babez?' drivel from strangers hmm

ConfusedPixie Thu 19-Sep-13 10:01:44


I'm not close to my sisters but my family still had the decency to at least text before I found out via FB about their accidents over the past few years! Well, Mum called me in a panic telling me that my sister had been hit by a truck the first time and the second I had a text from my sister who had crashed her car warning me that it was on FB but she was okay.

How difficult is it to just phone to let siblings/parents know before telling 'the wider world'?!

FreudiansSlipper Thu 19-Sep-13 10:06:29

i totally agree

of course close family should have known before it was put on fb why would anyone disagree with this

unless that was the only way to contact people which was not the case

people like to gossips and use fb to be busy bodies some information does not need to be known be everyone and it is important the certain people are informed before others

GrendelsMum Thu 19-Sep-13 10:11:36

I think your DBs friend was probably very shocked and upset, and didn't sit down with your DB to ask about the phone numbers of relatives he should get in contact with. From my own experience, when a couple of friends were attacked, phoning their family did not even occur to me at any point.

cantthinkofagoodone Thu 19-Sep-13 10:19:07

My sister and her dh are fb and twitter addicts. I found out that she was engaged and that my neice's name from fb. She called to say she was pregnant though but only found out from Mum about the baby.

There was a dramatic pregnancy but she would always check in at hospital whenever she had to go in for a bleed or reduced movement but I did call and tell her that her family shouldn't be seeing this on fb, if it really is serious we should get a phonecall. Baby was fine in the end though!

Dobbiesmum Thu 19-Sep-13 10:26:16

It's thoughtless in a lot of cases. Plus the fact that it's habit to many people now to get their phones out and check in to FB or Twitter, especially if they're waiting around for something or someone. i bet that's what your brother's mate was doing SP, mooching around on his phone waiting for your DB to get sorted out..
as an aside, I do know someone who announced her divorce on FB and changed her relationship status. Problem was that her DH didn't't know either, he was as shocked as everyone else....

BrandybuckCurdlesnoot Thu 19-Sep-13 10:31:14

YANBU. This annoys me too and I know it annoys a lot of family and friends. This is why I always make the effort to ensure close family and friends are informed directly before anything is posted on FB.

BrandybuckCurdlesnoot Thu 19-Sep-13 10:32:43

Glad your brother is ok OP

Dobbies Her husband didn't know about the divorce?! shock

Brothers fine, just bruising. He stayed at his friends. I'm meeting him today and I'm off to get some of the expensive stuff out of his house.

Ginformation Thu 19-Sep-13 10:43:31

My parents and I found out my brother was missing presumed dead via ceefax. Our elderly next door neighbour phoned to ask what was going on as The Sun had contacted her for a reaction. We didn't have a clue, no one had contacted us.

I get your rage SP. Just wait til he is home before opening a can of whoopass on him grin

Dobbiesmum Thu 19-Sep-13 10:46:15

Nope, he didn't have a clue she was filing for divorce until he got a message from a friend who saw it on FB! Poor sod was gutted. She lost an awful lot of friends that day.

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