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AIBU to ask your opinions on what me and DH are arguing about?!

(58 Posts)
crabbiepattie Tue 13-Aug-13 10:27:53

ok, so a brief background story...DH and I have 3 children; twin girls age 2.7 and DS just turned 4. I am a sahm and have been since DS was born. Im starting FT uni end of September.

Our disagreement is that apparently i dont do enough with the kids!! He works from home, so knows exactly what I do every day!! well, not exactly, but more than many other fathers who work away from home. I dont drive (taking driving lessons) and dont have much spare cadh each week after general food bills, bills etc. I take the kids to a playgroup every Wednesday morning, will take them to the park once a week, take them to see a friend who has a little boy the same age as DTGs, walk to see their nan, take them out on their balance bikes, or we will pop to asda or town to get a bit of shopping, where il treat them to some crayons and colouring books, or craft supplies. my mum will take either ds or dtgs out once a week, and my mil will have either ds or girls, mostly ds, so i can do driving lessons or take kids for a walk or do housework while kids play. I generally have a lot of housework to do, as we are all home most of the time.

Should I be doing more with the kids?

Beastofburden Tue 13-Aug-13 22:40:00

Married took her kids on a deer hunt? Seriously? Beats duke of Edinburgh..

CorrineFoxworth Tue 13-Aug-13 22:46:57

"Toddler Whisperer" grin

My DC are years apart. You're doing brilliantly!

crabbiepattie Wed 14-Aug-13 12:04:01

Well, weve been to playgroup this morning, walked halfway back (i let them walk on the one bit of pavement that we didnt have to cross the road in/was directly home iykwim!) and theyre now in the front garden playing with the flowers!!

Charlottehere Wed 14-Aug-13 19:44:04

Omg you have an allotment...jeez you sound like you are putting me to shame doing shit loads.

SpeedwellBlue Wed 14-Aug-13 19:52:17

Sounds like you do plenty and like they have a nice life

Dreamingofcakeallnight Tue 20-Aug-13 19:36:53

I'm genuinely flabbergasted that some posters think that children shouldn't spend time going to the supermarket or hanging around at home! Nonsense children's lives should not be one long string of constant entertainment. Children learn most from experiencing the natural everyday rhythms of family life, which involve cleaning, shopping, cooking etc. this is real life, not one long Disney film!

There are plenty of opportunities to learn things in everyday situations. Planning, counting, measuring at the supermarket. Fractions when folding laundry! But the point I'm trying to make is that this goes in automatically, not like some big scripted event.

Keep doing as you are OP. Your husband sounds like a prat.

mindyourownbusiness Tue 20-Aug-13 19:51:31

I hate this when one adult takes it upon themselves to become the 'parent' figure to their spouse or partner. Tell him he is your husband not your fecking headmaster or boss and you are quite happy that you do plenty with the kids thanks very much. My DH has been known to get his ' I'm the boss of you ' head on occasionally and l soon nip it in the bud. There is no place for it in a healthy adult to adult relationship and it can be a slippery slope particularly if the 'chastised' one starts to try and 'do better'. Which you must not do under any circumstances imo , that will make him worse.

mindyourownbusiness Tue 20-Aug-13 20:00:41

Agree Dreaming we were poor as church mice when my DCs were small and l used to amaze even myself sometimes at my acquired ability to turn just about anything and everything into a game or challenge or activity.
My DD now in her thirties said to me today in her garden how she remembered playing 'Snap' with her dads and my socks when l was pegging washing out. I used to get my DCs to hunt out as many matching pairs as possible to hang on the line.
The point is my DD still remembers that little game with fondness some thirty years later rather than an arranged activity such as visit to a farm or zoo or whatever. We did do plenty of the latter now and again - money allowing but no - she remembers the sock game.

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