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To go to a nightclub on my own as I have no friends

(38 Posts)
exmrs Thu 25-Jul-13 23:24:15

I'm 33 just got out of abusive marriage, I have no confidence no self esteem and no friends. I have always struggled socially and I feel Quite happy on my own every night but I have a young son and feel I should make an effort to go out and socialise as my son is quite introverted. I like music and would be going to re live a bit of my youth as I married young but would people think I'm strange going out on my own? I'm not going to trap off I just want to have some fun for a change

SinisterBuggyMonth Fri 26-Jul-13 09:30:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClartyCarol Fri 26-Jul-13 09:35:28

Don't go clubbing on your own - just don't.

Lots of pp have given some good suggestions.

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 26-Jul-13 09:39:12

Yes, don't go to nasty clubs with scary men OP. Find some mummy friends to have days out with the dc's..much more appropriate.
Seriously, get yourself out there! You deserve some fun. Agree city socialising is great to find people who want to do similar things, and maybe don't have any friends with similar interests, or have recently moved into town etc.
Also agree that gay clubs are a good idea.I used to go to gay clubs, with friends, but i can remember times when my friends left early or whatever and I stayed.
Be sensible, stay safe, but do go out. I should go out more too!

HellonHeels Fri 26-Jul-13 09:43:05

Meetup is great for social activities and meeting people without (usually) having a relationship / dating focus. Just groups of people interested in the same kinds of things you are.

I'm not single but belong to a few groups and have made some nice friends from doing shared interests.

hadababygirl Fri 26-Jul-13 10:02:40

It depends where you are for meet up ; there's nothing in my area.

To be honest you do get funny looks when you go to places alone. I have to as I have no choice but you do tend to be the only one. I end up taking 14 month old dd with me as you can sit in a cafe with a toddler and no one minds, don't know what I'll do when she's older though.

BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy Fri 26-Jul-13 10:13:33

Some clubs are pure dives that attract people who want to get drunk and lairy. The one I go to is better,its local so a familiar face is always there and its over 25s so less likely to get the scuttered-teen-making-a-show-of-themselves. Go out,have fun. Dance,chat,blow off some steam,and get a pre booked taxi home.

Fairylea Fri 26-Jul-13 10:15:50

I'd go but make sure you don't drink too much and watch your drinks carefully incase they get spiked. Then any decisions you make will be made with a clear head.

Angelfootprints Fri 26-Jul-13 10:22:49

Add message | Report | Message poster IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 26-Jul-13 "09:39:12
Yes, don't go to nasty clubs with scary men OP. Find some mummy friends to have days out with the dc's..much more appropriate."

Assuming your sarky little comment was aimed at me IfnotNow then READ the op... She wants to help her introverted son. Nightclubs wont exactly help unless you think children at a nightclub is just fine.

ClartyCarol Fri 26-Jul-13 23:01:50

I think it's not a good idea because OP said she struggles socially and tbh it's going to make her feel even more shit going to a club, standing there like a lemon while other people are dancing and having a laugh with their mates. Someone who struggles socially is going to find it difficult to strike up a conversation with random people, and really, how many people would genuinely be confident to get up on the dancefloor and strut their stuff on their tod?

Those different meet up type groups sound like a good place to start.

WafflyVersatile Fri 26-Jul-13 23:14:55

Unless you generally immerse yourself on the dancefloor all night with little regard to the people around then it might be better to work up to it. I went to one once when I was travelling. I'm not the sort of person who falls into conversation with strangers wherever I go an it wasn't fun for very long. If I'd been single at the time it would have quite depressed me. But you know, it's not the end of the world if you go and it's not much fun.

There are local mumsnet pages here when you might be able to meet up with other mners.

other local forums or interest sites and meet up etc already suggested.

kali110 Sat 27-Jul-13 00:41:09

I wouldnt purely for safety reasons or if drinking may make you very depressed drinking on your own.
Welldone for getting out of ur marriage op, thst is such a brave thing to do.
Understand about lack of friends, i only have few i can actually count on, im too nice people tend and absuse me
:-( refuse to let people make me nasty though!
Wat about people on here?

kali110 Sat 27-Jul-13 00:47:50

Although on up side you can go where you want op. im always dragged to bloody rnb and dance which i hate cz majority if my friends don't like rock or metal. Even on my birthday i don't go where i want to go

BiscuitDunker Sat 27-Jul-13 01:44:31

I personally wouldn't recommend going to a nightclub on your own,but perhaps I've read far to many "nights out gone bad" stories in newspapers and magazines...

I'd recommend perhaps going to your local pub for a quiet drink and trying to make a few friends that way? Just sit at the bar and you'll probably find people will say hi and start talking to you while they order their drinks and it will also mean you can chat to the staff behind the bar too. Plus you won't be too far from home so you won't have far to go if you start to feel uncomfortable and you can actually have a conversation with people who are local and friendly and not out for sex,instead of a nightclub where you can't really talk and will find yourself surrounded by a load of drunken idiots/pervs who are only after a shag. Plus if you go to the pub you may find an interest in darts for instance and join the pub team or perhaps they do a weekly quiz night you could do? Would be a great (and safer) way to meet new people and make friends smile People and attitudes and atmospheres are very much different in a local pub to those in clubs and as your have just come out of an abusive relationship and have low self-esteem I really don't think a club will do you any favours as you will be naturally wary of people.

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