I really hope I don't sound like that horrible Katie Hopkins woman on This Morning, I'm really not.
But DS (4) has recently made friends with a little boy on our street (5) and he's really not a very nice boy but DS seems to idolise him a little, it's only fairly recently that I've really allowed him to play out with friends so it's all a bit of a novelty to him and I think he just likes feeling like a big boy playing out with his new friend.
The reasons I don't really like this boy are:
He is VERY bossy and quite cocky, he waltzes in this house (sometimes without knocking) like he owns the place, bosses DS around and he just goes along with it.
He is rude and uses no manners.
He doesn't share, he just takes over DS's toys and lets DS have an occasional turn.
DS has learnt words and phrases from him that I don't like, not so much swear words but just things which aren't very kind or nice.
We live at the end of an avenue and DS is only allowed to play on the grassy area or on the pavement on our side of the avenue (ie where I can see him), but his new friend keeps taking him across the road to his house because apparently he's old enough to cross the road. Luckily I've seen him because I'm always keeping an eye on him.
He is very cheeky to me and often argues or challenges me if I tell him that he can't have something or do something. For example, the other day he said to DS "come on lets play upstairs", I said "no the baby is in bed, play downstairs or outside please", he replied "but all his toys down here are rubbish, we want to play upstairs, we'll be quiet". I just can't believe the cheek of him, when I was a kid if a friend's parent told you "no" you listened to them, I would never have dared answer back like that.
I had to send him home yesterday because DS's friend from school had come to play and he ended up really upset because he was being mean to him, 5 mins later he came back again. Luckily DS's nice friend stood up to him and told him "I don't want to play with you because you're very mean to me". I wish DS would do the same!
I've never once seen his mother, she seems to just let him out without checking where he is or what he's doing. This worries me that a 5 year old is going in people's houses without their mother knowing where they are. Of course this isn't the boy's fault though.
DS goes to nursery-school and has made some lovely friends, his teacher commented on what a nice circle of friends he has. At school I don't think he'd pick this boy as a friend but I think he just likes having a friend to play out with at home.
It bothers me that DS doesn't stand up for himself and I've spoken to him about it, but at the end of the day he's 4, I don't think he even notices when he's getting bossed around etc.
At the moment DS is playing with him almost daily and I'm starting to see a serious decline in his behaviour and manners and I'm sure it's down to him playing with this boy.
I don't know whether to just let the friendship continue and hope that the novelty wears off or whether to tell DS that he can't be friends with him?
On one hand I think that DS needs to learn who is nice and not nice for himself, but on the other hand he is only 4 and so I wonder whether I need to make the decision for him?
Also, I worry that if DS tells the boy that "My mum says I'm not allowed to play with you anymore" that I'm going to get his Mum knocking on my door asking me why. I really don't want any trouble with any neighbours
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To tell DS he can't be friends with a naughty 'friend'
48 replies
twinkletwinkle9 · 05/07/2013 17:19
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.