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To think what I do with dd before the school bell is my business or aibu

(41 Posts)
expectingtoomuch Wed 26-Jun-13 10:03:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OctopusPete8 Wed 26-Jun-13 10:49:37

If they don't like it they should actually take there duty of care seriously and protect your daughter.

LIZS Wed 26-Jun-13 10:50:48

Can your neighbour not subtly draw attention to it in the playground. "Oh look MRS BOB has randomly parked and caused an obstruction again!"

LIZS Wed 26-Jun-13 10:51:21

Sorry mixed threads blush

Rollmops Wed 26-Jun-13 10:52:46

Perhaps you have been too nice. What a sad thing to say, I know, but it seems the school have not taken you seriously as the bullying continues, unchanged.
Good luck with your battle and do whatever it takes to keep your child safe.
I'm so sorry you both have to go through this.

blueballoon79 Wed 26-Jun-13 10:59:05

With regards to the bullying, tell your daughter to keep a diary (or help her to keep a diary) and list all incidents, what day they occurred, what time, and what lesson.

Once you have a few incidents listed down make an appointment with the head, show them the diary and ask them what is going to be done to keep your daughter safe on their premises.

If you get no satisfactory results you need to go to the governors.

If you're still worrying about your daughters emotional health and the bullying is still occurring you can take her to your GP, discuss the situation and the effect it's having on your daughter and it's very likely she will be given a doctors note to keep her from school until you have their total assurance that they are going to deal with the problem.

I've had massive problems with my son being bullied and have always achieved good results by being firm and telling them I will not tolerate his being bullied and will take it further if necessary.

Good luck and I wish your daughter all the best. The bully sounds vile.

Startail Wed 26-Jun-13 11:01:14

Sadly, you are right, it often takes the bully hurting more than one child to get action taken.

If more than one parent complains it helps enormously.

DDs bully eventually had to wait in the classroom to be picked up at the end of school. Just as your bully likes the clock room in the morning, he liked to kick ankles and cause grief in the milling around getting bags and waiting for collection.

CombineBananaFister Wed 26-Jun-13 11:15:34

Your poor DD - to be TERRIFIED to be around this girl at school must be awful for her.
As others have said trying to raise it politely hasn't worked (I have been there)-sometimes they only sit up and take notice if you make a fuss which is unfortunate but true.
Agree with jazz - until THEY can ensure your child is safe and not scared to go to school, you'll do what you need to.

Lomaamina Wed 26-Jun-13 11:24:06

Delurking to support you wholeheartedly. I was bullied for years in primary school by another girl and never bothered my parents about it (long story as to why), so spent years spotting her across the road (we lived a few streets away) and changing my journey to avoid her. Even as a young adult she could still instill fear in me. I still remember that prickling in my back. I so feel for your daughter.

You're a wonderful parent to be doing your best by your child and hang the school and its rules. I agree with the above about taking it to the governors if you're getting no joy from the HT. I'm fuming on your behalf.

xylem8 Wed 26-Jun-13 11:25:03

You need to put all the allegations in writing and insist they be put on her file, they will just fob off verbal complaints they are too easy to ignore.
I am not sure about the drop off thing though.Why can't she join the line in the top playground at say 7 minutes to 9? Am I missing something?

expectingtoomuch Wed 26-Jun-13 11:37:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BerkshireMum Wed 26-Jun-13 12:57:46

I had an issue when my DD was in the last year of primary school. School did bits and pieces to help, but not especially well and, like you, my DD was often the one moved or singled out.

One day, after another incident, I snapped. I kept her at home, but ready to go to school in her uniform, and took in a letter that said he was no longer prepared to send her to school until they could provide a safe environment for her. Reaction was rapid. Action plan agreed and daughter in school by break time. Not perfect but more than okay for the last term at that school.

A side benefit was that DD didn't just see that I believed and supported her but that it was possible to act to improve the situation, rather than just come up with avoidance strategies. That doesn't mean I think you're doing that BTW!

Good luck

expectingtoomuch Wed 26-Jun-13 15:55:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Naoko Wed 26-Jun-13 16:03:41

Oh ffs I am 27 years old, in a different country from my childhood bullies and I haven't seen any of them in a decade. When I saw a picture of one of them on facebook last month I felt sick with fear. You can't just stop being bothered because nothing's happened in three weeks. Teacher is an idiot, go over her head. Make noise. Completely unacceptable. Your poor DD. sad

expectingtoomuch Wed 26-Jun-13 16:05:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS Wed 26-Jun-13 16:10:01

hmm at teacher . Obviously she thinks the longer she prevaricates the less likely it will be her problem to resolve . dd had a teacher like that, placating but ineffective.

CalamityJ Wed 26-Jun-13 16:12:28

Does the teacher not maybe think the reason there's been no bullying is because you and your DD have been taking this evasive action in the mornings? Having been bullied myself in juniors I would agree it takes a lot longer than 3 weeks to get over the fear.

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