Work Team Building Thing(46 Posts)
Did a work team building thing today. Partly to get the team working better and partly as we were supposed to get to know ourselves better.
Made a total fool of myself.
Single and childless at 27. Never been married or anywhere near.
One of the exercises was "if you won the lottery (enough to retire / very large sum) what would you do?" And we had to say the first thing that came to mind. Not to think about it too much.
Plenty of normal answers like quit work - buy a big house - buy an tropical island.
Mine was .... have a baby. And then I cried. A lot.
I sponsor a baby boy in Uganda and I am so broody. I wander about picking out little t shirts to post to him. And looking at girl clothes too.
I can't afford a baby. I don't have any family that would help out and I don't have my own home. Practically I know that I wouldn't be good enough to be a mother either through birth or adoption.
And yet my heart is breaking. I don't even know how I will face going into work tomorrow after the exhibition I made of myself today.
I doubt that you're over-sensitive. It's far more likely you're surrounded by twats. As you're not massively invested in this job, I do hope you're looking around for a new one! Being in a more positive environment could do amazing things for your confidence, too - you sound a little worn down.
In what ways do you feel "so old" at 27? You don't have to answer, natch, but I'm curious! I bloody loved being 27, it was like being a grown-up and a kid all at once. I remember I had a boss who opined that, once you get to 30, you have to stop being 'promising' and start delivering ... Not that I wasn't delivering anything at the time, but I was getting a fair bit of mileage out of being 'promising'. I could still go out all night if I wanted, and wing it through the next day.
How's your personal 'prepare for a baby' plan coming along?
If that happened to anyone at my work they would get nothing but sympathy believe me.
Your workmates sound like utter gits.
Sometimes I feel so old and then other times I realise how little I know about the world.
I don't work in sales - it is just an admin job. As I walked in yesterday lots of people were sort of sniggering so most of them knew about the pictures. I wasn't at work today but hope there is nothing tomorrow on my desk.
I am just admin - no real skills or anything and I didn't grow up wanting a specific career. It isn't always bad at work I just always seem to be the over sensitive one who doesn't like the jokes.
Yes, I've worked in sales offices like that, too. I think you should leave. It's not surprising your emotions are on high alert.
YY to what everyone's said about it being natural, quite handy to gain the insight into your priorities and that you;re young enough to put things in place.
But, fgs, please don't think you have to find that sort of bullying acceptable. It's despicable
Hugs OP. I just wanted to reiterate what others have said and what you probably don't feel - young . I hope you will meet a lovely partner and there is every chance that you will. Having said that, if I had read lots of messages from those older than me who now had DPs and DCs when I was 27 I would still have been convinced it wouldn't happen to me! So I just wanted to give you another perspective so you see there are other ways too. I had a baby at 37 as a single mum using a donor. It has been the best thing I ever did. But I had definitely always seen it as my last resort. Anyway, I am sure you will meet someone but whatever happens, do acknowledge this is your dream, it won't go away, you will no doubt be as good a mum as any of us and never give up on your dream. In the meantime have fun and relax, your clock is nowhere near midnight
Sounds as though your colleagues need training to overcome bullying and harassment rather than team building - I hope they're not always such spiteful shits.
You sound lovely and I bet you'd make a great mother if that's how things work out ; we all muddle through the early days as a mum , we figure it out- don't doubt yourself !
There's no wonder your company needed to send you all on a team building day, with arses like that working there!
I think you should tell whoever paid the bill for the training-they've wasted their money.
I am and for you in equal measure, Op. And, for what it's worth, I was still single and living in rented at your age...I met a wonderful man when I was 34, and had a mortgage, a wedding ring and a baby with 2 years. We're still married, massively in love (most of the time ), and have 3 DSs. You have plenty of time, and it will happen, when the time's right, and the right person comes along.
My advice to you is to enjoy what you've got now. Travel, do exciting stuff. spend your time enjoying your life, your youth and your freedom. Then when you're staying in every Saturday night with the kids, you'll be able to remember what fun you used to have
Dear Lara, never be ashamed for saying something heartfelt and truthful. As for your colleagues, they sound like absolute tossers and I wouldn't hesitate to report it.
To add to what some others have said: I met my DH at 32 having had precisely zero serious (or even semi-serious) relationships before then, married at 33, baby just after I turned 37. It's really not unusual for a 27 year old not to have their own home and sorted-out finances etc - I was in a high-flying city career and only bought my flat at age 28 and the age for homebuyers has only gone up since then. So you really are so young and have so much time for all the things you want in life to happen for you.
As for being a good mum, well from your posts I see someone who has a great deal of love to give, and that's the thing that really matters.
OP, listen to lessons! And not just because she has been nice to me too!
And once again tigerlillygrr manages to put eloquently what I can't express. I run a large team at work and would both investigate and stamp on this behaviour if I knew about it happening in our office. Sometimes it's not easy to see things that happen within the team but if your manager is any good at all he/she should deal with this as a bullying issue. Some workplaces deal with it better than others, hope you have some lovely and supportive RL friends to counsel you past this.
You seem lovely and remind me of me a fee years ago - if there's one thing I could give a younger lessons it's a big hug. You both need and deserve one. It does/can get better, promise, and no one can help you respond differently to this hurtful and mean behaviour other than by taking action, whether it is to report it or to get some support. Thinking of you
you work in a sales office, don´t you? I have worked in those places and it the ONLY place where I have seen really nasty jokes like that happen. Report it. xx
That is nasty OP, it really is. Please don't let it get you down further though, you seem quite hard on yourself. I wish you could read this thread as an outsider because then you would see what we all can - you are so obviously a very caring person. I think with the right support you would be a great mum. I hope your time comes.
What everyone else said re pictures and you are still young. I think maybe a chat with someone - you seem quite down in yourself and I wonder if you are feeling trapped in your current situation. I didn't meet DH until I was 2 months short of 30. My friend just met her DH 18 months ago and has just had her DS at 36. I hope you are ok OP.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
No, the pictures are not even remotely funny.
Spiteful, insensitive, cruel, hurtful, immature, thoughtless - yes.
I agree you are working with a loathsome, hateful colleague - for all they knew, there could have been a very distressing reason for your reaction.
It was really nasty and senior management at my work would hit the roof if something like that happened. I'm sure there are ways to trace the culprit and they simply can't be allowed to do stuff like that. It sounds like you coped really well but next time it might be someone more vulnerable who gets picked on and it could have all sorts of consequences.
I'm so sorry you have been treated so badly.
Sometimes they do things at work that are supposed to be funny and I don't really see the amusing side. Just assumed it was me being a bit dull really.
I agree! Report the pictures to your manager. What an insensitive shitty thing to do to you
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Lara that's nasty. What Craving said, you should report it, and NO-ONE is a perfect mum - we all muddle through.
You're still so young, try not to overthink it all xx
Lara I would report that. There is a really nasty piece of work in your office and they need to be disciplined. If they get away with this they will likely do other horrible things. You have nothing to be ashamed of and should be able to go to work without being harassed.
It's impossible to br a perfect mum btw!
Someone printed a pic of a baby and put it on your desk?? And on the mirror in the loos?
What kind of fuckwits do you work with? That's just goddam mean and pathetic of them.
on your behalf.
Your colleagues did that? That is ridiculous behaviour in a workplace [Shock]
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