This is so out of my comfort zone, DH too, as we usually go well out of our way to help people if we can.
This is a member of my family. He is one of life's takers. He works about three hours a day, probably less, self employed, in order to earn little enough to claim the full whack of 'top up' benefits.
He has two teenage children and has just been given a brand new house because they need an extra bedroom (now that his son lives with them), he is moving from what was a brand new (huge and lovely) flat that he was given twelve years ago when he split from the DC's mum.
All he has done is moan about the new house. They are still building the estate, the kitchen's not as big as the flat, it's further from school for the kids, moan moan moan.
Weeks ago he asked DH if he could help him move, last weekend. DH was happy to do so. The move was then postponed until this week but he didn't bother telling us, we got it third hand from my mum. DH did overtime at work instead.
Then a couple of days ago his son came to my door and asked if DH coudl help this weekend. His Dad was in his car idling the engine at the side of the road. I said that I thought DH was working so probably not. TBH if he'd come and actually asked us himself I might have been more inclined but that was just the last straw, for me.
DH isn't working today and could have helped, but I've told him not to. He does have other people helping.
I have just had enough of seeing him get the world handed to him on a plate. It grates. I know it doesn't make me a nice person but it's just rank, really. When anyone else moves house we pay a removal firm, or we do it ourselves. If we need help we ask for it, politely, not through a teenager. He just expects every one else in the family to step in.
The kids are pretty much neglected, they walk around in rags and they all eat really badly, the kids are always in trouble at school for not having the right equipment/uniform (we have all stepped in to help with them many many times), he pleads poverty all the time and gets handouts from his Dad and my Mum, but they are off to Greece for two weeks in August. They were given a new computer under some scheme, his Dad pays for his car for work, and on and on and on. I just think all this help and handholding doesn't do him any favours.
This is just a rant really, and I might regret posting, but I now have The Guilt because we coudl have helped and haven't.
Would you have? AIBU?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to not help him move house?
29 replies
EleanorHandbasket · 22/06/2013 10:19
OP posts:
Silverfoxballs ·
22/06/2013 11:04
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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