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AIBU to not want to contribute for this present?

(26 Posts)
CrapBag Sat 15-Jun-13 13:02:59

Ok, I'm not completely asking if IABU because I don't really think I am but would like some advice all the same. smile

A friend (I say friend for ease but I guess we are more aquaintances) is moving away soon. A while ago a mutual friend mentioned that she was going to throw a BBQ before she goes and that this 'friend' was going to invite me as well. I haven't seen her for a while. Now it was being discussed this week and it turns out the BBQ is next week, all the other people in our group have been invited and I have heard nothing. I am assuming now that I am not to be invited.

I guess I am a little miffed as I have actually known her the longest. Apart from 1 in the group who has been an actual friend to her over the last few years, this person who is moving away hasn't really made an effort with any of us. She always gets invited to stuff and either just doesn't come or doesn't reply. We only see her at toddler group but as I haven't been for a few months, I haven't seen much of her and the odd text from me has never been replied to. She doesn't see any in the group apart from 1 outside of the toddler group. My point is you wouldn't really call her a 'proper' friend to any of us except 1. We were in the beginning (5 years ago) but as she always knew she would move away 1 day, its like she has always kept a distance.

Now the 1 she is friends with is arranging to get her a leaving present and wants to know if I want to chip in with the cost. I am actually skint at the moment but because she has invited everyone except me to her BBQ, I don't see why I should contribute towards a present for her. How can I say this without coming across as petty?

RenterNomad Tue 18-Jun-13 12:45:31

If you're at your mum's, presumably you will be hosting, so don't need to make small talk while things are prepared/served. Any approach by her, and you can offer to piss off to get her a drink; then spot someone else who needs tea: no need to be trapped by her! The same technique can work for heading off enquiries about making a contribution!

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