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AIBU To ask ex for money to contriubte to my sons afternoon out.

(18 Posts)
LouiseSmith Sun 26-May-13 11:41:59

Ok the situation is My ex only has our son for 2 hours a week, he pays maintence through CSA , all be it, not a lot. So this week my son wants to go to a fun day, at the local club house. (bouncy castles, and such.)

I don't have the money, the money I have left in my purse is for electric and some milk to tide us over until Wendnesday. So would I be unreasonable to suggest he contribute say 10pound to my sons afternoon out. Especially considering he's not seeing him for two weekends in June for weekends away with the boys.


FutTheShuckUp Sun 26-May-13 11:44:34

Isn't maintenance for these kind of things?

ChippingInLovesSpring Sun 26-May-13 11:44:51

No YANBU, however, it sounds highly unlikely you'll get it sad

CSA is a total joke sad

You might have to tell your DS (son) that he can't go, but that you'll take him to the park & have a picnic and will save up your spare (ha ha ha - sigh) pennies to go as soon as possible.

WorraLiberty Sun 26-May-13 11:45:25

It depends on what sort of relationship you have with him.

If it's a good/friendly one then I suppose you could ask and see if he's got a bit of spare cash.

But if you don't get on that well, I'd leave it and tell your DS you'll do something else with him.

FutTheShuckUp Sun 26-May-13 11:46:41

Why dont you suggest he take your son to the day out? Especially if he is missing two weekends with him coming up soon?

Bowlersarm Sun 26-May-13 11:47:05

Of course you should ask him. If he cares about his son, he should consider it.

ParadiseChick Sun 26-May-13 11:48:11

From what I can see here it doesn't matter where the money comes from, the money you get is what you've got and it needs to last. You don't have the money for a day out so you don't go.

What about the park?

LouiseSmith Sun 26-May-13 11:50:24

We went to the park yesterday. I asked if he wanted to take him to the fun day, He said he couldn't have him for longer than two hours.


WorraLiberty Sun 26-May-13 11:52:14

Do you get on well with him?

Actually I'm guessing you don't otherwise you probably wouldn't have started this thread.

I'd take him to the park again or find something else to do.

wonderingsoul Sun 26-May-13 11:55:31

Isn't maintenance for these kind of things?

no its for the whole up keep of child. rent. bills food clothes.. and the mianternance, im having an educated guess as it prob 1/8 or less then what a child actually cost.

so yanbu to ask. but i wouldnt hold your breath for it.

HappyMummyOfOne Sun 26-May-13 12:01:18

Given he pays maintainance, i dont think you should. He is already paying what he should, yes it would be nice if he paid more but you will also be getting CB and CTC and thats without your financial contribution to match his (presumably you are working).

If your budget doesnt stretch then go somewhere free and perhaps see if you can pick up exta hours to put some aside for future holidays or weekends.

mrsjay Sun 26-May-13 12:02:10

Isn't maintenance for these kind of things?

erm not really for some families it is the difference between eating or not, and fun days out are at the bottom of the list, OP i wouldn't ask him he probably will give you some sort of shit sob story and your dc will be upset, tell your dc that you will go soon to the place,

needaholidaynow Sun 26-May-13 12:03:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeathRobinson Sun 26-May-13 12:05:11

Could your ex take ds to the fun day just for the two hours then?

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 26-May-13 12:09:24

Csa assessed maintenance is the minimum someone should be paying not the maximum.

However it is the only legally enforceable amount. Nothing wrong with asking someone for an extra for a event or anything like that.

Booyhoo Sun 26-May-13 12:17:02


ask. the worst thing that will happen is that he'll say no and you'll be in no worse situation than already. or he could say yes and your son gets a nice day out.

ask. it's not a crime to ask. aslong as you accept the answer even if you dont like it.

LouiseSmith Sun 26-May-13 13:30:36

I asked and he come was brought home with 5pounds from his father, and five from his grandmother. And then my mum dropped in and gave DS some pennies too. smile So sometimes asking can be worth it.

The day is free, and I did budget for it, only I had something I needed to replace as it broke, the home phone, and I don't like not having a phone in case of emergancies. And by this time I had already told DS we would go.

So all in all a great out come smile Thanks for the advice.


mrsjay Sun 26-May-13 13:34:01

aww have a nice day out with your son smile

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