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to have to beg DH to have baby number 3 after PND?

(5 Posts)
pipparoo Sun 26-May-13 01:19:26

I sailed through having baby number 1, then had severe pnd with number two. It was absolutely horrendous, but after nearly two years I am feeling so much better. I am now feeling incredibly broody and ready to have a third baby. When we got married I said how much i wanted a big family. My husband however is completely against the idea on the grounds of how ill i became after DD2. He rightly or wrongly assumes that i will become ill again. I feel that i now know the warning signs and would be able to seek help (if needed) far quicker than i did before. i feel like i am now having to beg DH to even consider having a third baby. is it unreasonable to want another baby after pnd??

Pinkflipflop Sun 26-May-13 05:33:37

YANBU to want a big family.

YABU to beg your dh for another baby.

Did he 'in theory' want a large family when you discussed it pre PND?

You already have 2 children though so the person who doesn't want more children has the say.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 26-May-13 05:40:27

If he doesn't want another and you do, he has the deciding vote. I want another, DH doesn't, we aren't having another.

However, if it is all about the PND and he would want another if that weren't a factor, get him to talk to a HCP about it. Talk through his fears. It might help anyway, actually, as he could have lots of unresolved feelings about it.

HerrenaLovesStarTrek Sun 26-May-13 06:22:28

Not unreasonable, but your DH's reticence is completely understandable.

We're in a similar boat - have got 2 DC and I'd like 3, but DH doesn't want anymore. I'm on antidepressants too since coping has been hard.

While it makes me sad, I do understand his viewpoint. Plus I don't want to risk having a baby that DH doesn't want and so might not particularly bond with. That seems like a sad fate for a child.

Sorry, I do get your POV and it does suck to not have 3. However, it doesn't sound like a great idea in your situation (or mine for that matter).

I get by on cuddling other people's newborns smile

FarBetterNow Sun 26-May-13 07:53:54

Just enjoy the two you already have.

Maybe he doesn't want to see you being so ill again.

Why take a chance of making life so difficult for yourselves when you don't have to.

What if you do have pnd with DC3 and then want baby 4?

Just have fun and enjoy the beautiful DCs you have with your supportive husband.

Sorry, don't mean to be harsh but just realistic.
Best wishes to you.

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