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(70 Posts)
C999875 Thu 23-May-13 16:32:47

I gave birth by c/section, am I being unreasonable to feel resentment when women who had N.V.D's say "You cheated, or you had the easy way out". or are they right are N.V.D's worse that c/sections. Have any of you had both? which did you find easier.
Thank you in advance for any replies xx

QueenofWhispers Sat 25-May-13 20:29:19

yes, one ugly ass m-fing b*tch did call me 'too posh to push' ... she laughed at me and had a good time mocking what she thought my experience was.

(sorry if I sound violent)

I had pre-eclampsia and was in a 'hypertensive crisis' when I had my DS.

funnily enough, she runs a 'domestic abuse women's help service' or something like that. i hope she either 1. never has children (because she is a bully) or 2. has pre-eclampsia too.

thezebrawearspurple Sat 25-May-13 19:08:37

I don't know anybody stupid enough to say something so offensive and ignorant about a medical procedure, if I met one they'd get a lecture on medical necessity before I go into bragging mode about how my amazing surgeon left only a tiny barely there silver line that only I can see because I know where exactly to look and my bits remain nice and tight. Then ask what her husband thinks of her loose vagina, it must be in a fairly bad way if she needs to put you down to feel better about herself.

The best way of dealing with obnoxious idiots like that is to out ego, out bitch and out arrogant them, they're like bloodhounds in smelling passive people who won't put them in their place.

fuzzpig Sat 25-May-13 18:20:44

Of course I said that smile a friendly comment is not going to undo years of feeling like that though. In a similar vein I am 26 and my mum still feels guilty about not being able to breastfeed me (she tried but lack of support/slow supply etc...). Motherhood is just a big guiltfest sometimes.

1944girl Sat 25-May-13 17:55:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzpig Sat 25-May-13 17:49:44

It's a horrible thing for people to say so I'm really sorry if you have had such ignorant comments.

I had VBs (although only narrowly missed a CS with DD due to pushing for so long).

It is horrible, the pressure that women can feel to 'do it properly' - colleague of mine still feels sad and guilty that both her babies - now in their twenties! - were CS.

1944girl Sat 25-May-13 17:42:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkflipflop Sat 25-May-13 16:20:08

Who said this to you? I would be telling anyone who was so rude to me where to go!

Someone said to me that "I was too posh to push" after my csection, I told them that even if they'd had major surgery and had a newborn to look after their opinion still didn't matter!angry

None of my friends would say this though!

HollyBerryBush Sat 25-May-13 16:18:22

DS1 natural labour and emergency CS

DS2 & 3 elective CS

Give a me a CS, preferably elective, every time. You know where you are with that.

neunundneunzigluftballons Sat 25-May-13 16:14:31

La guardia that is not very nice

LaGuardia Sat 25-May-13 16:12:07

Tell them to look forward to when their wombs prolapse from all that pushing. Total heroines, the lot of them.

neunundneunzigluftballons Sat 25-May-13 16:09:03

I've had both and vaginal deliveries were easier in my case. The 2 posh to push thing had come en vogue when I had my section and I got an earful of that but I just used to retort that it was an emergency section used to save my baby's life that was usually enough to shut people up even if it was only a slight exaggeration since it was for failure to progress.

rainrainandmorerain Sat 25-May-13 15:41:22

Attitudes towards caesarians in general are a ridiculous mish mash of cultural values, religious inheritance, sexual politics and whatever the feck else.

On the one hand, women will be warned that C section is horrific - months of recovery and pain, unable to hold baby for hours after birth (never understood that one, having had 2 Csections meself), the constant refrain of 'it's major surgery, you know...'

On the other hand, the snide comments and sometimes overt judgement for having taken 'the easy way out'. Not having gone through the ordeal of vaginal birth.

I think a lot of it arises from not distinguisnhing between emcs and planned cs. But still, you can't have it both ways. I do find it interesting that if I let on that my CS's were planned and that was how I wanted it (and I tend to keep quiet about it IRL), I get quite a few women asking me privately how I 'got' mine. Personally I think my CS's were an easy option - very little pain, very fast recovery, minimal scarring, very short hospital stay - compared to some vbs. I'm very glad I had an easy time of it. I was able to be very positive about the whole experience and quick recovery meant I was in a good place to take care of my babies and generally get on with life. I wish that every new mum could say that about their birth experiences, whatever they were and whatever their choices/ideals were.

noblegiraffe Sat 25-May-13 13:38:11

Didn't your jaw just drop in amazement at how rude she was? I think I'd have been speechless.

Wheresthepopcornagain Sat 25-May-13 13:19:40

I think it's easy to think what you haven't been through is better. ots of women I know have been through births that were difficult - c-section or not. tell them that giving birth is not a competition and that they should think more before making mass generalizations.

Smartiepants79 Sat 25-May-13 13:11:59

Never heard anyone say this but what aloud of bollocks.
C-section is a major surgery, how is that easier.
Both mine were NVD by the way and I felt very sorry for the lady with the section in the bed next to me.

C999875 Sat 25-May-13 13:07:40

Thank you for all your replies. The reason I asked was because a few weeks ago I was at a party and the conversation turned to child birth of all things.
The were all talking about how they had no pain relief and needed stiches ect. When I said I gave birth by c/section someone said "Oh we have a cheat in the room. I wouldn't mind but it wasn;'t that I'm too posh to push, I had severe high blood pressure and pre eclampsia.
I really wish people would think before they speak. xx

MikeOxard Thu 23-May-13 22:03:19

I've had both. And I've never heard anyone say c/sec is the easier way out.

The Vaginal delivery was awful, 22 hours labour, and baby got stuck so I had to have forceps and they gave me an episiotomy without ANY pain relief even though I was asking for it.

Second baby was 50% bigger, so I was very scared. 12 hours labour and once I got to pushing stage they suddenly announced baby was too big and I was rushed for an EMCS. I was relieved because I was so scared and really didn't have the energy or ability to push baby out. It was unpleasant, obviously, but not as bad as the vaginal delivery. But the recovery was much, much worse. I had terrible afterpains, real pain and difficulty moving, picking up, carrying and looking after baby. It took ages to heal.

If I had to have another baby, I would probably prefer to have a vaginal delivery, but there really isn't much in it, and there certainly isn't an easy way out!

McNewPants2013 Thu 23-May-13 21:56:54

I had a very easy 5 hour from start to finish birth and within an hour I had showered and feeling on top of the world.

With a c-section many women are bed bound for hours and hours in a bit of pain. ( based on what my sisters have said) and recovery is slow.

I believe that c-section are not the easy option, it's major surgery.

Euphemia Thu 23-May-13 21:53:59

Some fucking eejit once said "Too posh to push?" to me, to which I replied "No, life-threatening pre-eclampsia." That put the fucker's gas at a peep!

picnicbasketcase Thu 23-May-13 21:52:09

It comes under the same thing as people who make stupid judgy comments about bf/ff - it's nobody else's business how you feed your baby just like how it's none of their concern which way the baby came out of your body. A simple 'Oh, piss off' would work wonders.

MoodyDidIt Thu 23-May-13 21:48:33

yeah pisses me off

one friend laughingly called me a wuss for having cs's :/

parakeet Thu 23-May-13 21:47:03

I had two elective C-sections (out of choice, to avoid damage to pelvic floor) and I do feel it was taking the easy way out - compared with all the hideous birth stories you hear.

If anyone told me it was cheating, though, I'd laugh in their face. Cheating implies we are in some sort of competition, or that we are all have to bear the same level of pain. Screw that.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 23-May-13 21:15:40

I would consider c section to be the very fucking hard way to have a baby. I would have been terrified and devastated to go through a major operation whilst awake. Thank God I have a stretchy fanny grin

MoominsYonisAreScary Thu 23-May-13 21:15:20

I've had 3 vb an emcs and an elcs, the sections were worse even though my first vb was to an 11lb 2 oz giant!

The last time someone commented on the sections I told them in detail how lovely it was when the spinal started to wear off before the baby was even out and All I could have was gas and air.

Kasterborous Thu 23-May-13 21:09:07

I had a ELCS as my DD was breech. I must admit in some way I was relived not to have to go through labour. But it didn't stop me feeling I had taken the 'easy' way out. I later felt guilty that I hadn't had a 'natural' birth. No one ever said anything to me but I always seemed to find myself justifying myself to people. But at the end of the day it was taken out of my hands really, I didn't choose a section it was just the safest way for my daughter to be born safely. And I now look on it as the first sacrifice I made for her.

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