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To be a bit fed up with the relentlessness of it all.

(11 Posts)
lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 09:57:32

Im a lone parent, i have been for a long time, im used to it, but im having a bit of a tough time and just feel heartily sick of it.

I had a virus and ended up in bed for 2 days, went to work for one day, was sick again, so that was 4 days in which i did no housework stuff. Couldnt walk the dog, nothing. I then worked full time for 3 days, had a day off in which my car exhaust fell off so spent all day sorting that out. I went out friday night and then got plastered and spent all day sat being stupidly hungover. I worked all day yesterday. the house is a tip, the landlady is coming round this week.

and it just feels a bit hard at the momment, like i cant even have a day off from doing anything because it just piles up.


valiumredhead Mon 20-May-13 10:10:42

You poor thing sad

thanks have a brew

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 10:17:16

gah, i know people have it worse. mothers just called to see if i can run some errands for her, which ive said i cant do and shes got the hump. Ive got some children here afterschool to repay some favours and the pets to clean out and everything has to be done today, including a bit clean of the whole house...because im working for 3 days and the landlady is coming round this week.

its my fault for going out friday and spending sat in bed, i dont go out very often, maybe once a month or so, but the knock on is huge.
its rubbish

CrystalDeCanter Mon 20-May-13 10:21:11

Oh god, it's awful sometimes isn't it. Don't beat yourself up for the night out on the lash. We all need to do that at times.

Can your mum come and help you? Or put on some loud music and get the jobs done by 1pm then put your feet up for an hour.

It's rotten though, I feel for you.

apatchylass Mon 20-May-13 10:29:40

lefttoe, it's also really normal to feel very down after a virus. You may not be able to go out, and you may still have some boring jobs to do but can you try and make life as nice as possible around that? Get your favourite food in, put on great music to clean to and try to look on the bright side - that you're making your house look gorgeous (rather than oh god another round of drudgery.)

Treat yourself after a two hour cleaning or sorting spree to a long hot bath or a comedy film or a bag of chocolates.

And book yourself another night out soon that isn't just a piss-up because although it feels like a release at the time it really doesn't restore you long term. Can you go and see a great film with some friends, or go out dancing but go easy on the pop?

flowers and brew

Not exactly the same but I've been in a massive rut recently and have just tried to do something new or different or a little bit scary every day. Anything from cooking a new (easy) recipe to doing a trim trail with the DC instead of leaving them to do it alone. It can help stop that Groundhog Day feeling. Tiny little brighteners in the day may not feel like much but they're better than nothing.

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 10:37:35

oh, i rarely drink, its a once every 6 months ish thing really.

Im normally ok, and can manage it all, but it just feels like its all got on top of me. 2 hours cleaning isnt going to be enough to get everything done, so i almost feel like not doing it at all, because i cant get everything done today. And then ive got 4 kids round afterschool, dinner, homework, baths, bedtime, lunches to do for tomorrow, work stuff to get ready. there isnt enough time to chill and watch a film. and then im working 3 full days.

apatchylass Mon 20-May-13 10:55:17

Lefttoe you're being a bit hard on your self. Two hours cleaning won't get it all done, but it will get some done.

Make a list of three jobs that will make the most noticeable difference to the home. The visible stuff. Do them first. then have at least 15 mins break. Then do three more. And have another break. Two hours done with breaks is better than it all feeling like an impossible mountain to climb.

Honestly, this works. It's the Flylady method. My house is a tip too but I never feel totally overwhelmed by it because I know how much can be achieved in 5 mins or 15 mins stints. It's an amazing trick. It really works.

Also, if you've been so ill, you really have to look after yourself and your health. That's a s much a priority as getting your house straight.

4 kids after school (oh, I recognise that sinking feeling of them and a filthy house all in one day) - can you put them out in the garden for as long as possible? Or cheat for once and get them all settled in front of a dvd if it's raining, while you do a bit of hoovering.
Skip baths for one night. They'll live. Do the easiest dinner you can think of - pasta and a jar of sauce or fish fingers and chips - anything that only takes 5 mins, even if it's not what you'd usually offer. Put it on paper plates and chuck them out afterwards. It's OK to have emergency days like this.

So get on top of whatever jobs are most noticeable - laundry piles or filthy floors. Get the main surfaces cleared and cleaned. And tell your landlady you've had flu, so she knows why you're not on top of things as much as usual. You are allowed not to be perfect. The house won't fall down!

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 11:43:37

Thats usually the tactic i use because it does work.

Im leaving the bathroom, that doesnt look too bad, the laundry can just go in baskets in the spare room.

I will have tidied everywhere, dusted, hoovered and mopped, clean bed linen, clean kitchen.

Ill clean the pets out when the children get home afterschool. the grass needs cutting, but its been wet every day ive been off. but it will do, it will look lots better.


FrenchJunebug Mon 20-May-13 13:05:52

as another lone parent I sympathise and count the years until DS is a teenager!

lefttoe Mon 20-May-13 13:13:32

I think its not having anyone to pick up the slack when odd things happen, so it just all builds up.

apatchylass Mon 20-May-13 18:32:26

Yes, that does make it tough. You have to be extra nice and forgiving to yourself and also treat yourself to as many small things that make you happy as you can possibly manage.

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