A few things have brought this all to a head and I just feel a bit lost, I don't know what to do to make things better.
I have one DC, 15mo. DP and I both work f/t but he does shift work so our childcare isn't too bad. We both commute in to London to work. I've been in my job for 8 years now and it's in a sector which is being royally fcked by the recession. I'm almost lucky to still have a job. The problem is it is a niche job which I spent a lot of time and money qualifying in to, but what seemed a good idea 10 years ago is now a sector which seems very unlikely to recover fully. This means there are barely any new jobs, and my pay is increasingly crap. I work for a firm which is slowly heading down the pan and outsourcing or a merger in the next few years seems likely, with the potential for redundancy there. On the positive, I like the people in my department and my commute is relatively easy, if long. But there's barely any potential for advancement in this career at all, and I'm starting to feel that I am doing this long commute, taking me away from DD, for not a lot of money and very little job satisfaction. It's starting not to feel worth it.
But I can't decide what to do about it. Ideally I want a new job near home, but that would mean changing sector completely and while I have plenty of 'transferable skills', my qualifications are niche enough that I know it will be hard to get someone to take a punt on me when there might be plenty of exactly the right qualified people going for jobs. Then there might be a pay cut that is even more than what I'd save on a commute, and we're not rolling in money. DP, while wonderful, is a little focused on money and the need for me to get a better paid job so we can eventually move to a bigger house; his job is fixed-pay so he won't be getting any significant increases in the near future. He's still struggling to understand how screwed my sector is. I don't think we can really afford for me to take time out and retrain, not unless there was a guaranteed well-paid job at the end of it.
And then there is DC2. I do want DC2, and it's getting near the right time to think about it (realistically we'd prefer DD to be about 3 when we'd need two childcare places, so we can hopefully take advantage of the free hours). But I had hyperemesis in my first pg so it's likely to happen again, and this scares me; without that, I would probably be more tempted to say, 'fck it', and try to get pg again. In some ways it would be easier to stay in my current job, which I can at least do standing on my head, and then hope to get pg in the next 6 months or so, but then again the commute is so far that I might not manage it in my sickest periods and would need to be signed off. Yet getting a new job would probably mean putting DC2 off for a year or so.
I'm just confused. I'm not entirely happy ? a not spectacular job, a long commute, seeing not quite enough of DD ? but finding a new job won't be easy either, and I would like a job that challenges me at least a bit. I just feel stuck. Between work and DD and DP's shifts there's not much time for me to do something else like an evening course that might help or distract me. I don't know whether to stick it out, or try and change things, but I don't know what I could change to make this better. I know this is all probably a first-world whine and we're lucky to both have jobs but... I feel like I am floundering at the moment and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone got themselves out of this sort of rut?
(Sorry it's long, I didn't to drip feed)
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to ask for your advice and ideas? I feel stuck in a work-life rut and I don't know what to do next
9 replies
Cotherstone · 15/05/2013 12:47
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