I've been friends with a woman since we were at secondary school. We are now in our mid thirties and still are friends, but I feel more and more like she is taking me for granted, and almost as if she only thinks I'm good enough for favours or if she wants something, and then at other times she doesn't really act like much of a friend if there is nothing in it for her.
It's probably going to sound pathetic, but it is small things,and they all add up to make me feel quite annoyed with her. Things that she does;
Asks me to go on nights out or to meet up, but then at the last minute goes uncontactable when I try to text or call her to make final arrangements, such as what time we're going to meet. Then I see via Facebook that she has gone out or met up with other people.
She only bothers with me if she wants a favour. She doesn't drive so sometimes wants a lift into town and I'm her first port of call. Or she'll want to take her daughter to a playcentre 10 miles away and again I am the first person she asks, under the pretence of wanting to meet up with me and my DC, as she knows I will have to pick her up and give her a lift there, as there are no buses to it and taxis are expensive.
When I've done things for her she has shown no appreciation at all. She is a single mum on benefits and frequently tells me how hard up she is, and how she can't afford things. I've given her lots of clothes for her DD, toys for her DD, clothes for her, as well as paid for drinks and snacks at playcentres when she's had not a penny in her purse. I barely get a thanks for this. Which wouldn't be too bad except that anyone else who does anything for her gets thanked profusely, and very publicly, via her Facebook status. Anyone that gives her a lift gets thanked, anyone who passes on any clothes for her DD gets thanked and she marvels about what lovely clothes they are. Even if she buys off someone via a Facebook local selling page, she thanks the seller for selling her the items.
Lastly, she makes no effort for me. It's all about her problems, all the time, and me having to listen to her about what a hard life she has and how rubbish things are for her as she's a single parent. I have been there as a single parent, so I know it is hard, and I don't have many problems as such, but some asking after how I am would be nice rather than it just being about her, all the time. She never wishes me or my children a happy birthday, whilst I always remember hers and her DD's (she wouldn't be happy if I forgot her DD's birthday) and phone or text her. It's like I'm just there to facilitate her needs and to do favours.
I know it all sounds pathetic, and like I said it is just small things. She is one of those people too that everybody likes and she is very popular, and I think perhaps that is why she doesn't feel she needs to make any effort with me because I am just always there, and she can walk all over me. I feel better for getting this off my chest, but I'm not sure what to do. I would speak to her about how I feel but in all honesty I feel she is so self absorbed she wouldn't really care and wouldn't get the points I was making at all . She would just cry and say what a hard life she has.
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To stop bothering with this friend?
30 replies
RedMouse · 15/05/2013 09:30
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