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AIBU to expect the buyer to pay the cost of my traveling to meet him half way?

(81 Posts)
WeAreEternal Sun 12-May-13 14:01:34

I sold something online, the buyer asked me if I'd meet him half way, I agreed, then realised he lived 5 hours away.

He has asked me to meet him two hours away, it will cost me about £50 to get there.
I told he this and he said "ok it will cost me about the same to get there too."

After several messages I figured out that he was under the impression that I would be coving the cost to get to the meeting city.
I told him that I would like him to send the £50 before I go and he said that he expected me to cover the cost from the money he is paying for the item he is buying. I said no and he has been really rude since.

I'm supposed to be going to meet him tomorrow, but I have said that I expect him to cover the cost of my traveling or I won't be coming.


TwoFourSixOhOne Mon 13-May-13 08:10:20

Dodge city.

Avoid avoid avoid.

EasilyBored Mon 13-May-13 08:17:47

I think he can do a claim back on his account as an 'unauthorised' payment, if he does a transfer. Is there some reason he can't use paypal? I would say no, only through Paypal, as that way you are both covered if something goes wrong. He sounds dodgy though, so I would just cancel and re auction.

fedupofnamechanging Mon 13-May-13 08:18:52

You said cash on collection or paypal. Bank transfer is neither of those things.

I would ask him to send postal order, including cost for you to post items and once you have received it, then you post the tickets.

If you let him collect, arrange public meeting place and have someone with you. Don't give him home address.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Mon 13-May-13 08:19:51

Well you would have to give him your bank details for a bank transfer so I wouldn't agree to that

Iggi101 Mon 13-May-13 08:33:17

Well, it's the other way round for a start - he pays by transfer, then you post. Don't think he could cancel it once you have money cleared in your account. But I can see you'll be extra cautious with all this.

Shutupanddrive Mon 13-May-13 09:15:25

I would tell him your sick of being messed about and he pays in the ways you have stated or forget it

loofet Mon 13-May-13 09:20:47

Demand payment by paypal and say you'll either post by recorded delivery and give him the price or he can collect. Not sure why someone would want to drive two hours to pick up some tickets... If he doesn't comply then just relist.

fdparis Mon 13-May-13 09:23:22

You must get the money before sending them.
Giving someone your bank details doesn't give them free access to your account.

MrsBertMacklin Mon 13-May-13 09:36:37

No to a bank transfer! There isn't any buyer protection offered by EBay for BACS payments.

shinyrobot Mon 13-May-13 09:36:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MustTidyUpMustTidyUp Mon 13-May-13 09:41:17

Tell him PayPal by the end of the day or you will cancel the sale.

fdparis Mon 13-May-13 09:42:13

Mrs Bert Macklin - only if you're the buyer. Bank transfer is very safe when selling.

fuzzpig Mon 13-May-13 09:49:45

Have you got time to relist and only allow paypal/special delivery?

ChocsAwayInMyGob Mon 13-May-13 09:56:20

Cancel and start again. Paypal only, postagec cost include next day special delivery. Nothing else will be accepted. This buyer keeps persuading you to sell it in ways you don't want to.

Also, there's something very weird about someone who will travel for 2.5 hours to collect something that can be posted.

VivaLeBeaver Mon 13-May-13 10:00:55

Is it Glastonbury tickets? I'd buy one off you!

Fairylea Mon 13-May-13 10:10:22

For a pair of TICKETS?!

I thought you were going to say a whopping great sofa or something.

Tell him to get on his bike (pun intended smile ) or offer to send them special delivery. He is being a twat.

WeAreEternal Mon 13-May-13 10:23:56

I can understand wanting to be cautious, it is a lot of money.

What I'm worried about is whether he can reverse the bank transfer, by claiming he sent money to the wrong account accidental or something. Or if he can do anything with my details.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Mon 13-May-13 10:33:47

I wouldn't give him your bank details are he already has a lot of info about you if he's intent on, say, id theft. He sounds strange and dodgy. I'd say Paypal today or you're cancelling the sale as he is refusing to buy according to the terms of your sale.

Ffuntimewincies Mon 13-May-13 10:34:21

Paypal exists so you don't have to give out bank details to all and sundry. You stated your terms, by bidding he agreed to them and now he says that he can't comply.

I agree with MustTidy. Paypal by the end of the day (say 8pm) or you'll cancel and relist. Too much money to risk losing.

Bearbehind Mon 13-May-13 10:42:50

I really would cancel the transaction. If he gives you bad feedback you can dispute it as he is failing to stick to the buying terms you stated.

It sounds well dodgy to me. If you had met him to give them to him he may have claimed never to have received them.

The bank transfer thing is weird too, in theory once you have the funds he can't get them back but you never gave him that as a payment option.

QuintessentialOHara Mon 13-May-13 10:47:48

It sounds very dodgy.

Does your listing say you accept bank transfer?

I would cancel and relist, and flag him up to eBay - if this is where you are listing.

TooManyDicksOnTheDancefloor Mon 13-May-13 14:09:48

Don't do it. We sold lady gaga tickets and sent them special delivery and the buyer put in a chargeback on the payment. We we're out of pocket by £150 for 6 months while it was sorted out. The bank ruled in our favour but we still ended up with £30 in bank charges that we didn't get back. If something smells fishy, it usually is.

sarahtigh Mon 13-May-13 16:35:40

bank transfer is safe he may not have a paypal account it is not essential when bidding on ebay,

cumfy Mon 13-May-13 16:44:13

Always Paypal.

Always Post.

Cancel the transaction and inform ebay you're being pissed about.
Include a link to this post.
Ebay will not want bad PR.

I would also just suggest relisting and posting the link here!
I bet someone will really want the tickets.

YellowDinosaur Mon 13-May-13 17:21:28

Sarahtigh yes Paypal isn't essential to bid on Ebay. However the seller is entitled to state what payment methods they are willing to accept and the op clearly started Paypal or cash on collection only.

The buyer is taking the piss. They may well be genuine but you have to be concerned when he can't even read the listing properly. It would have been one thing to ask you these things prior to the auction ending but I wouldn't be putting up with this now in your shoes.

unless you want to risk being totally messed about then I'd relist. If he can arrange a bank transfer he can set up a Paypal account.

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