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AIBU?

Am I crossing a boundary?

19 replies

PrincessTeacake · 03/05/2013 18:56

I'm a nanny to a set of 3.5 year old twins. Their parents have no close family members except for a very elderly grandfather, and everyone else lives abroad.

I suggested to my boss that I could take ghe twins to my house in the country some weekend in the summer, to give her and her husband a break and give the twins a change of pace. I've been with them since they were six months old and know them inside out. My parents packed us off to my aunts one week every summer, and the twins won't have that experience because they really only have their parents.

Is this something a non relative shouldn't really do?

OP posts:

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claudedebussy · 03/05/2013 18:57

i'd love that suggestion. what a lovely idea.

Charliefox · 03/05/2013 19:09

I think it's a lovely idea too and not crossing a boundary.

quoteunquote · 03/05/2013 19:23

No, it's lovely and kind,

My friend nannied for a family, and use to bring the children with her when she came back to the West country, it's lead to a life long friendship between the families.

How lovely for the children to be cared for by someone who wants to extend their experiences.

ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged · 03/05/2013 19:24

Take my ds. Please.

CocacolaMum · 03/05/2013 19:26

what ReluctantlyBeingYoniMassaged said!!!

Seriously though I am sure the parents are incredibly touched that clearly care very much for their children and them.

BreastmilkCrucifiesAFabLatte · 03/05/2013 19:26

I agree. It's a lovely thing to have offered.

SoleSource · 03/05/2013 19:43

Yanbu

:)

JackieTheFart · 03/05/2013 19:45

I think that's a lovely idea, and I can't think of anyone more qualified than a nanny.

I'd probably feel more comfortable with a nanny doing that than a family member actually, because they will definitely know you.

PS, I have 4 year old twins - wanna take them too?

OddBoots · 03/05/2013 19:48

Is there something in the way that your boss reacted to the offer that makes you question yourself?

Kyrptonite · 03/05/2013 19:53

If you have enough space then mine are free too!

Seriously though it sounds like a lovely thing to offer. How did your employer take it?

FloresCircumdati · 03/05/2013 20:01

Have you suggested it to the parents already? I could see how it might wave a red flag for some parents (especially ones who don't have extended family around and are not used to 'sharing' their children iyswim.)
It is a very generous offer, but out of the blue, in the wrong context, I suppose it might seem as though a cm is needy or lonely if they offer to take someone's children away. How far away is your house in the country from where they live? Would they be unable to see the children all weekend?

Bonsoir · 03/05/2013 20:03

Why not? My DSSs' nanny took them to her family in the French provinces when they were little.

BlueberryHill · 03/05/2013 20:04

How about a twins party at your house?

It sounds lovely by the way, what was the reaction from your employer?

dogsandcats · 03/05/2013 20:05

hmm. For some reason this makes me uncomfortable.

Some issues off the top of my head.
What if something happened to them while in your care all alone? Or would you be alone with them?
Do you have a nanny contract with a nanny agency?
Do you, or is it your employers, have public liability insurance, and would it still cover you.
Car insurance - would you be covered at all, if you were in an accident with the twins?

Maybe I am concerned about nothing?

dogsandcats · 03/05/2013 20:06

Nice thought though.

iago · 03/05/2013 20:07

Many years ago, my lovely nanny took (and didn't expect to be paid for) my two children on holiday for a week with her mother. I never paid her what she deserved - but paid her as much as I could afford at the time as a single parent which was the going rate. She is getting a nice surprise in my will.

PrincessTeacake · 03/05/2013 21:18

I'm glad most people are in favour, I'm very much in an auntie position with the twins right now and I already volunteer to take them some weekends if there's something going on (took them to Zombie Walk last year, they loved it). My employer said she'd think about it, the two of them are very spirited and are going through a very demanding phase right now. I know she finds them hard work sometimes and while they do tend to behave better for me (years of nannying have made me an impenetrable shell of a human being) and I think she's worried they'd be looking for her and upset. I did take them last year when they were serving as flower girl/ring bearer at a cousin's wedding, she took a lot of convincing to let them stay in the hotel with me overnight.

The only hitch is that I live in the family home, my Dad and brother live here too. My brother is in and out and spends most of his time at his girlfriends, my Dad just potters around and the twins would never be left alone with either of them.

OP posts:

dogsandcats · 03/05/2013 21:22

I think that this is a situation of it is all lovely if things go well.

I would ask if you are getting too emotionally involved with them?

HollyBerryBush · 03/05/2013 21:27

I think every situation is different.

Only you know if you have crossed the boundary between employee and friend.

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