Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

To report this to someone? Advice please

19 replies

VotePedroPony · 30/04/2013 14:24

I've been lurking for a while, thoroughly enjoying the MN banter, but have been prompted to make my first post following an incident yesterday. Hoping for some UK impartial advice.

Have been talking to an elderly neighbour at the bus stop for a few months. He seemed very nice, if a bit over-friendly, but I put that down to perhaps loneliness, perhaps cultural differences (he's Malaysian). Anyway, he invites himself over yesterday morning, so I bring him in for a cup of tea. He is initially sitting on one sofa, me on another. He says he is struggling to hear me, can I sit next to him. Fine. Then he says he's noticed my DS plays with my hair sometimes, so he starts fondling my hair and says "look DS I'm playing with mummy's hair, what do you think of that???". This is followed by a few other weird things (won't go into detail now as already looooong!). Then he gets up to, gives me a very strong hug and a kiss on the cheek. After a while I try to pull away, then he forces my head back towards him, holds me very tight, and says "just give me one kiss darling, just one kiss" and basically forces himself on me with his tongue out. All while my 2 year old is watching.

I know I should have had it out with him at the time, but was too shocked and just wanted him out the house, so just bundled him out without saying anything. Now DP thinks I should make a report to the police, but I feel a bit daft reporting a 70 year old man! Though had it been a younger man holding me so uncomfortably (enough to bruise slightly) and kissing me, I think I would call the police. I just don't know what response is appropriate.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

Report

Kubalai · 30/04/2013 14:26

Yes, report this. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

Oldraver · 30/04/2013 14:26

Yes report to the police

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 30/04/2013 14:27

What does his age have to do with it?

I think you should log it with the police and ask them to go round and make it clear that he is not to come near you again.

lottieandmia · 30/04/2013 14:28

Ewwwww what a creep. Definitely report him to the police.

MrsWolowitz · 30/04/2013 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DiscoDonkey · 30/04/2013 14:29

Tbh 70 isn't that old. My Dad is only a couple of years younger and I do not regard him as elderly. I don't think you should consider his age when deciding what to do here.

LaGuardia · 30/04/2013 14:29

Ah, Malaysian. Yes, that will be it.

lottieandmia · 30/04/2013 14:30

His age has nothing to do with it.

VotePedroPony · 30/04/2013 14:31

OK, thanks everyone. I just thought at his age he was unlikely to be a real danger to anyone, and I would be being a bit vindictive by reporting it rather than useful. And tbh just want to forget about it. Maybe that's clouding my judgement a bit.

OP posts:

lottieandmia · 30/04/2013 14:31

People like this need to be known to the police - he is likely to do this or worse to you again, or to someone else.

DiscoDonkey · 30/04/2013 14:32

What if his next target is a 15 year old girl?

DoJo · 30/04/2013 14:34

If he could overpower you to the extent that you had trouble fending him off, then he could do the same to anyone of your strength or weaker.

SarahAndFuck · 30/04/2013 14:35

Yes you should report it.

lljkk · 30/04/2013 14:36

He's a manky old lech, OP. Do not feel bad for reporting him. All his age means is you don't need to be afraid he will overpower you, but I bet you still feel violated.

VotePedroPony · 30/04/2013 14:36

Good point Disco, I honestly hadn't thought of that. I have got the details of our PCSO so will get on to them now. thank you

OP posts:

Crinkle77 · 30/04/2013 14:38

Oh my god that's awful. I would report himcos he might do it to someone else and they may not be so lucky to get him out the door.

BarredfromhavingStella · 30/04/2013 14:39

Awful, report it.

lottieandmia · 30/04/2013 14:40

'What if his next target is a 15 year old girl?'

Exactly. Think how horrified everyone is about Jimmy Savile. What this man did to you is the same.

wonderingsoul · 30/04/2013 15:53

oh, how vile. im sorry you went through that. gives me the shivers.

i would deffinatley report it to the police, i can see why you would think twice, because of his age.. BUT that doesnt mean he can get away with being a creep and pervert, i doubt this is the first time hes done something like this, to be so bold about it. but if you report him it could be the last time.

would your husband come with you to report it?

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.