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To think that 12 year olds can sort out their own petty arguments?

(6 Posts)
50shadesofvomit Mon 29-Apr-13 16:21:57

My 12 year old son was furiously texting last week after school so I asked him about it and it turns out that he'd had a petty argument with a friend. I suggested that he turned off the phone for an hour or two so he could calm down because texting for ages could make things worse. He turned it off.

An hour or so later I get a text from his mum (who I've never met) asking why my son wasn't answering his phone and forgiving her son. I told her the advice Id given my son and that I left him to sort out petty arguments himself. She was surprised and my relaxed attitude but I think it's normal.

What do you guys think? After an hour or so both boys ended up apologizing and sorting things out.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 29-Apr-13 16:23:51

I would encourage him not to sort out his arguments by text, as well.


SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly Mon 29-Apr-13 16:23:59

Leave them too it.

I leave my 3 year old son and my 3 year old sister to sort out their mini fights alone so a 12 year old is more then capable

CloudsAndTrees Mon 29-Apr-13 16:26:27

Most 12 year olds can sort out their own petty arguments, but to be able to do that successfully they need to be taught how to do it when younger and the squabbles are even pettier.

Sadly ime some children aren't given any adult support to sort out problems they may have so they get to being 12 and older having been given no guidance about fair compromises and such like. They are left to sort out their own arguments from the time they are old enough to have friends, and I don't think that does children any good at all. Then adults wonder why they can't sort out their problems themselves.

cantspel Mon 29-Apr-13 16:27:06

Leave them to it as resolving conflicts is a valuable lesson to learn.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 29-Apr-13 21:48:00


I agree

Sorting out squabbles verbally is something I've had teach my DCs.

And that's one reason I mentioned not using texting. Far too open to misinterpretation, far too open to other people reading and making public

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