To want another DC but quite scared about it.

[Kasterborous]

We have a one year old DD who we love to bits. We would love to have a brother or sister for her - and for us - but I'm 40 and quite worried that we may not have another healthy DC. Given my age I'm worried about something going horribly wrong and we had six miscarriages before we had DD and I'm terrified of having another and how we would cope. We decided to start trying in June and I'm broody but now it's nearly June I'm getting scared.

[ariane5]

YANBU to be scared. Having so many mc must have been dreadful and I can understand why you would be nervous.

I don't really have any advice as such but didn't want to leave your post unanswered. Would you be able to talk to your gp about how worried you are. After I had a mc I was offered extra 'reassurance'scans when I got pregnant again which eased some of the worry.

[emsyj]

YANBU to be scared, but nothing is guaranteed in life and you can only try and hope for the best. Plenty of people do have healthy pregnancies at your age and above (including my DMum, who was 41 when I was born - at a time when that was positively ancient to be having babies).

[Snoopingforsoup]

40 is not that old. It really isn't.
I know lots of healthy kids born to ladies in their 40's.
Best foot forward and best of luck to you.

[Anonymous88]

My friends mum had 3 children all round the 40 mark and they were all healthy with straightforward births. If you're at least considering it then I would go for it, you'll only end up regretting it later on life otherwise.

[Kasterborous]

Thanks for your replies. I think you are right Anonymous88 I think if we don't try we will regret it. I always thought I would be happy with just one and I am but I would love DD to have a sibling especially as we are older parents so she will always have that other person. Of course that's not the only reason we would love to have another one. I am the oldest of five with three sisters and a brother and can't imagine what it would be like not to have siblings.

[minouminou]

Crack on with it, OP.
Nothing ventured and all that!

[Spice17]

I'm pretty scared about having another DC and I'm lucky in that I didn't have any miscarriages (poor you) and a fairly straightforward pregnancy.

However, the further away I am from having her (6 months ago) the more fearful I am of labour again as mine was a bit of a saga resulting in an EMCS.

I think it's natural to be worried about conceiving again, it's almost scarier second time around I think, though you know kind of what to expect - you know kind of what to expect! :)

[Cosydressinggown]

It's always scarier second time around, and you have your history and age to contend with too.

I'm not going to lie to you, because I'm sure you know that with six consecutive miscarriages, your chance of something going wrong is probably higher than most. Also, whilst 41 is not high as an average for having a baby these days, your risks are increased biologically by this age.

On the plus side, you can conceive, and you can carry (I presume) to term, so hopefully your next experience will be just as positive.

I guess you have to work out what you'd regret more - not trying and always wondering, or the possibility of trying again and giving yourself more heartache when you do have a wonderful DC to focus on.

A little experience in this area myself so xxxx

[havingamadmoment]

It is understandable to be nervous especially with a history of miscarriages like that. The only thing I can say is that after dc1 I had 4 miscarriages one after the other over the course of a year I have no idea why but then I had 4 more successful pregnancies with no problems over the next 4 years.

good luck!