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To expect my friend to stop texting all the time when in my company?

(63 Posts)
jenny99 Wed 17-Apr-13 11:18:23

Had a lovely evening out last night with a close friend apart from the fact that every time her phone 'pinged' she looked at it and replied. Most were messages about play dates. It was approx every 10-15 minutes. I received a few messages too but ignored them.

She never used to do this but her iphone is her new BFF. I also have an iphone but I feel strongly that when in somebody else's company for a time it is only polite to give them my attention. I do check if the message is from my DS or school... aibu??

Gemini1974 Thu 18-Apr-13 09:03:46

YANBU. It is ok for a quick emergency text, but not for a whole text/verbal conversation. I have a friend who does this and I think it's because she wants to be seen as 'in demand'. Problem is, that she spreads herself so thin that none of her friendships have depth and no-one has quality time with her. I asked her last time if she would prefer it if I left and let her get on with it?

StealthOfficialCrispTester Thu 18-Apr-13 09:04:34

Bunbaker that doesn't make sense, I don't think confused

lovesherdogstoomuch Thu 18-Apr-13 09:29:18

my dear friend does it every time we meet. i don't want to be cross with her but am fed up with it. ive started saying things now. she will actually read out texts from other vague friends and start laughing at what they've said. jesus. boring. i think she's getting the hint that i'm finding it rude.

MintyyAeroEgg Thu 18-Apr-13 13:00:39

I went out to dinner with my best friend recently. We rarely have dinner together, alone, just the two of us, without husbands or children. Anyway, out comes her phone onto the table ("sorry darling, just in case its ds") and she answers 3 texts during the course of dinner. One from her dh who was at an event in London and has just been talking to a sleb - I forget who - and two from her ds, who is 13 years old and had that night gone to a sleepover with a friend. And each time, it was "oh do you mind if I just get this one? I know its annoying and bla di bla di bla". If there was anything urgent people would PHONE, surely! Drives me nuts.

Bunbaker Thu 18-Apr-13 16:01:34


Sorry I confused you. I replied to the wrong post grin

Gerrof Thu 18-Apr-13 16:24:17

God no its really annoying. I hiss at my daughter if she tries this on when we are out.

I also think it's a bit strange the assumption that you have to reply to texts immediately. My phone lives in my bag on silent half the time, I answer them when I want.

lovesherdogstoomuch Fri 19-Apr-13 21:00:33

it's good to know other people have phone etiquette. bloody rude otherwise. let's spread the word! grin

conkercon Fri 19-Apr-13 23:59:05

I popped into church on the way to work yestetday as I sometimes do. It is very peaceful to sit there for 10 minutes before the start of a busy day. I kid you not there was a man having a full blown conversation on his mobile in the church.

SAHRum Sat 20-Apr-13 00:21:43

I think it's really really rude - unless you are expecting an urgent text/call and then of course it's fine to take it. To those of you objecting, do you think it's a generational thing? I'm the wrong side of 35 but wonder anyone under 20 would think it rude to not reply asap even when in company?

lovesherdogstoomuch Sat 20-Apr-13 09:58:08

Conkercon, i would have had to say something. unbelievable!

jenny99 Sat 20-Apr-13 10:43:04


Maybe it was a hotline to the greater powers?!!

zipzap Sat 20-Apr-13 13:11:26

You should have sent her a text asking if she prefers chatting by text rather than face to face or saying Oi, remember me? I thought we'd come out for a drink and catch up - didn't realise you meant to catch up with all your texts! grin

OK so those aren't particularly witty but I'm sure somebody here could come up with something much better :-)

Wibblypiglikesbananas Sat 20-Apr-13 13:25:49

I also agree that it's a generational thing. My mum would be appalled at people having mobiles at the table, for example, but DH and I would think nothing of having our iPhones around whilst we were eating.

In your friend's case, could it be that if she doesn't reply immediately then she'll forget? I know that since I had DD, I have a very 'do it now' philosophy as life just gets so busy.

I wouldn't read anything into you being less important to her than you were (though I can understand how you might feel like that). I think it very much depends on the social group you're part of, how others you spend time around etc behave. Not sure if I'm explaining this too well but e.g. my brother works in the media and his whole crowd are glued to their gadgets and devices permanently. This would be completely anathema to my friend who's an academic and can take or leave her mobile, doesn't reply to texts for weeks etc.

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