I've namechanged.
My DD is 7, and is in year 2 at school. She's always had lots of friends and hasn't really had any issues with anyone up until now. She's sailed through school, academically and friendship-wise.
About 3 months ago a girl in her year, whose mum I am friends, but not close friends, with started being horrible to DD occasionally. It doesn't happen at school, as they are in separate classes this year and DD has 3 close friends in her class that she generally plays with all the time, but it seems to happen at any parties or other out of school activities that DD and this girl attend. Until the nastiness started we were maybe meeting up with the mum and her DD maybe once a month or so at each others' houses. Once the girl had been nasty to DD a couple of times I decided to not make any playdate arrangements for the time being as obviously I wasn't prepared to make DD play with someone who was unkind to her. I didn't say anything to the mum though, I've just not made any further arrangements with her. She knows I am busy though, and she is too, so it's been ok.
The first time it happened was at a party. DD got upset when we got home and said that this girl had said that she didn't like her, and had told others not to like DD too. I think 2 or 3 jumped on the bandwagon. DD is normally quite thick skinned and doesn't take things to heart but I think even she found it upsetting as the girl was saying really nasty things to her and getting others to turn on her. I know that kids are kids and I didn't think too much of it as DD was only upset for a short while, and it didn't seem to bother her overly so I left it.
Since then this girl has been horrible to her several times at a dance class they attend at the same time once a week, whispering about DD and telling people not to stand near her/talk to her. Then there was a party at the start of the Easter holidays and again it was the same thing, whispering about DD, and telling people not to talk to her and not to sit with her. And now today DD has been to another party this morning/lunchtime and this afternoon at home she has got very upset as this girl hit her several times at the party (not in eyeshot of the party child's parents, of course!), and again was telling people she hates DD and not to talk to her. DD says there were 4 girls at the party today plus this girl (out of 8 of them) that wouldn't talk to her and were laughing at her and whispering about her.
I am unsure about where to go from here. DD is adamant she wants to continue with the dance classes, and when I look at it why the heck should she have to stop them. So I will be speaking to the dance teacher. But I'm unsure about whether to speak to the girl's mother or not,and also to school, as none of it has happened at school? The mum is one of those that thinks her daughter is a perfect angel, and no matter what tack I take will take offence, and also I think speaking to her will be pointless as nothing will come of it. I obviously want to stand up for DD, so I know I need to do something. DD says after today's party she feels like 'everybody hates her' which is untrue as she has lots of friends, but I think this girl is quite sneaky and could potentially turn others against her. Plus it seems unfair that at every party DD goes to this girl is there causing trouble for her and making her have a rubbish time.
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to ask what you would do in this situation? Girl unpleasant to DD.
26 replies
Nooshooz · 11/04/2013 18:19
OP posts:
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