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To be annoyed at DP for wanting to spend so much on a pointless purchase?

(35 Posts)
Cookethenook Mon 25-Mar-13 12:30:34

DP recently won a £200 amazon gift card in a competition. It was GREAT timing as we got a baby monitor (DS 2 due in a few weeks) and DS's birthday present with it. It left us with about £90 left on the gift card. I said that DP should treat himself to a game or something as well with it as we don't really have a lot of spare cash for treats and he was the one that entered the comp.

I was expecting him to get a game or some clothes or something suitably nerdy with it.

He has decided he wants a device that lets him plug our iphones into the car stereo. We already have one that works perfectly fine (feedback if you put the phone too close to the stereo, but really is a minor problem). Apparently this one is better... but it costs nearly £50.

Now, just to put this into perspective. 1- £50 is quite a bit of money for us to spend on anything, let alone a piece of kit (it's basically a few wires). We share all of our finances and while we're not 'poor', but we do have to watch our money and we don't treat ourselves to luxuries very often. 2- DP has one pair of wearable trousers (apart from work trousers). I've been trying to get him to buy another pair of jeans for ages as he just wears them until they fall apart and then doesn't replace them. 3- DP has been talking about getting a new car recently. Him and his dad went out and bought this bloody Golf because they thought it was 'fun' little car... they're both the WORST impulse buyers and we've had so many problems with it (eats through oil and petrol, one of the windows stopped working, one of the back doors didn't open, small cracks on the windscreen which also cause us to go through wiper blades at a rate of knots.... i could go on!). If we did sell the car and get a new one, there is a good chance that we might not even need the device he wants to get.

When he told me what he wanted to get yesterday, i gave my reasons as to why i didn't think it was a sensible purchase. He was really annoyed and said that i'd told him he could buy what he wanted with it, which IS true, but i really thought he'd buy something a bit more useful or fun with it and possibly not spend quite as much.

Now i feel like a total cow, and i can see why he thinks i'm being unreasonable, but i still can't help but feel frustrated that it's basically £50 down the drain. Am i just going to have to let it go?

ll31 Mon 25-Mar-13 17:17:23

You sound really annoying tbh. .. 'here use the rest to get something you like:-( seeing as how you won tHe voucher )o h no, actually I mean only get something if I agree to it and if I think it's not waste of money ...'...

MimiSunshine Mon 25-Mar-13 16:42:20

You share birthday money? shock hmm
He's an adult, not your child. You may think its daft but the mild annoyance you have for the crapness of your existing cable obviously bugs him enough to have wanted to replace it, his money therefore YABU

wombatcheese Mon 25-Mar-13 16:34:10

I'm puzzled, if money is tight £110 on a baby monitor and DS's Bday present is quite a bit, but it's DP's £50 on the wrong treat you mind about.

maninawomansworld Mon 25-Mar-13 16:19:07

You told him he could buy a treat for himself.... so what's the problem..

Ra88 Mon 25-Mar-13 13:45:40

You told him to treat himself , not treat himself but here is a list of things you can buy!

Cookethenook Mon 25-Mar-13 13:35:00

For the love of god, read the whole thread, it's only a page long!

WhatsTheBuzz Mon 25-Mar-13 13:32:18

you sound controlling. You're well-off enough for iphones so what does this unexpected 50quid matter?

Astley Mon 25-Mar-13 13:31:42

....that is cheap.

niceguy2 Mon 25-Mar-13 13:27:50

You were not suitably clear. You said this:

I said that DP should treat himself to a game or something as well...

What he heard was:

"Buy yourself something you want"

What you meant was:

"Please buy something which I approve of"

StuntGirl Mon 25-Mar-13 13:24:54

1) It's his money, he can spend it on what he likes.
2) New release games are just less than £50 most of the time, so even if he had bought an 'approved' treat he'd have been spending virtually the same.

Glad you saw sense.

OBface Mon 25-Mar-13 13:19:56

That was nice of you OP! I'm sure he'll be really pleased.

Cookethenook Mon 25-Mar-13 13:15:07

DS is 7, we didn't think we could have more so we gave most things away. We live in a 3 story house, so it's def. needed! All of my siblings are having their second or third babies too, so there wasn't one we could borrow.

We bought Iphones about 5 years ago before i had my hours reduced at work and before DP had a job that required the money-pit of a car. We don't upgrade so have very cheap tariffs.

We do buy quite a bit of food and household supplies off amazon actually! It's not like it's a voucher from Game or Topman or something that only he would be interested in spending. You can buy most things on there.

Ok, so you've all put it in perspective for me that it's only a quarter of the money. It was his idea (or it just went without saying) that we'd spend it on the other things- i wasn't telling him or dictating to him that it was what we were spending it on. It's just the way it works in this family, what we earn or get given is for everyone and really it works very well for us.

I've ordered it for him to say sorry- i bet he changes his mind now!

5Foot5 Mon 25-Mar-13 13:04:57

YABVVU. This is money you wouldn't normally have had so I think your DH has been a bit of a star already to go along with spending most of it on "sensible" things.

BTW you mentioned getting a baby monitor for DS2 due soon. Does that mean you didn't have one at all for DS1 or that you already have one but wanted a new and better one?

Astley Mon 25-Mar-13 13:01:10

I can just see DH's face if he won a competition and I 'told' him to could treat himself to so something with some of the money (not to much mind).

He'd tell me to fuck off probably, and I don't think I'd blame him tbh.

Ragwort Mon 25-Mar-13 12:59:21

Let it go, my DH spends £s on stupid fishing equipment ............ I think its a waste of money but he probably thinks some of the things I spend my money on is a waste of money.

We all have different attitudes to spending, it's not as if you are going without food is it? Presumably if you already have a iphones hmm - you are not exactly on the bread line are you?

And why are you buying a baby monitor, if it is for your second child, didn't you have one already? also think baby monitors are a waste of money.

Pandemoniaa Mon 25-Mar-13 12:56:58

To me, money won in competitions doesn't seem that different.

Yes but this was money you wouldn't otherwise have had and, most importantly you told him he could spend it as if wished. Which he has.

bubblesinthesky Mon 25-Mar-13 12:55:11

YABU - You told him to spend it on what he liked so he chose what he liked. He didn't have to share his winnings with you at all and could have bought himself £200 worth of cables. It sounds as if he has been quite reasonable.

Let it go

Catchingmockingbirds Mon 25-Mar-13 12:52:07

He's already bought two big sensible things with it though, neither were for himself, and will still have £40 left over after his one 'non-sensible but something he really wants' purchase.

Cookethenook Mon 25-Mar-13 12:51:56

But a game is less expensive.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 25-Mar-13 12:51:43

I think you've been a bit unfair to expect him to know exactly what you had in mind for his 'treat' without telling him he ought to get a pair of trousers with it.

BadLad Mon 25-Mar-13 12:50:44

If a game counts as sensible then it isn't much of a leap to think that another gadget has been okayed.

Cookethenook Mon 25-Mar-13 12:45:20

I thought the sensible bit went without saying! I really DO want him to get something that he wants, but i just hoped it might be either less expensive or something that we don't already have.

We really do share every bit of money we get. Birthday money, gift vouchers, money i earn from my evening babysitting job all goes into the household pot. To me, money won in competitions doesn't seem that different.

Catchingmockingbirds Mon 25-Mar-13 12:42:30

Yabu, you told him to get what he wanted with it and this is what he wants. There will be £40 left over he can get another pair of trousers with.

Wewereherefirst Mon 25-Mar-13 12:40:35

YABU You 'told' him to spend it on what he liked

PurpleStorm Mon 25-Mar-13 12:40:00

YABU to tell him that he can treat himself with the rest of the money, and then complain about what he's chosen.

If you wanted him to buy himself something sensible, you really should have said so at the start.

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