Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

Unknown

18 replies

peppajay · 05/02/2013 21:30

To all other football widows out there AIBU in getting angry at the amount of matches my DH goes to and have I already have something arranged on match day or night and need him to have kids he should miss football. Generally he goes to every home game every other sat the occasional away game and nearly every match when they play on the evening about once a month. I go to a ladies group once a month and this month our dates clash. I have also been invited for a day out in April but it is a football day and he refuses to miss footy to have kids. He is quite happy me doing things for myself and going out friends just not on football days/nights. So How do all other football widows deal with similar issues?

OP posts:

Report

Nigglenaggle · 05/02/2013 21:34

File for divorce? Arrange something for yourself on every single night/day that football isnt on. Get him to look after the kids. After a month, talk about both of you reducing some of your 'me' time.

HollyBerryBush · 05/02/2013 21:36

Doesnt bother me - I just used to make him take the kids to the matches

But if you think its bad now - you just wait until the kids start doing sports ande following teams and you have to be in 3 different places at once

we have the calender rule in our house - who ever gets there first with the pen and inks in the date, claims it. this avoids conflicts. Ie I book a day with friends, he wants to go to football? his problem if it isnt convenient and it becomes his problem to seek alternative arrangements

manicbmc · 05/02/2013 21:36

Hide his season ticket?

ConferencePear · 05/02/2013 21:45

Get him to arrange and pay for alternative childcare arrangements.

peppajay · 05/02/2013 21:52

The calendar thing doesn't work in this instance coz all his fixtures are on there months in advance so he thinks if I want to go out or do something on a football day he already has a commitment but whereas his commitment!!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2013 21:54

OP just out of interest, what's the title of this thread please?

To me it says 'UnKnown'?

Anyone else getting that? I get it from time to time and then next time I log in, there'll be a proper title?

quoteunquote · 05/02/2013 22:07

I have also been invited for a day out in April but it is a football day and he refuses to miss footy to have kids

So, why does he get to pick and choose when he is a parent and you don't?

Sounds like he needs to do his fair share of parenting.

If you were divorced, and he had his children every second weekend how would he organise his childcare? ask him and suggest he does that.

what will his priorities be when his children have weekend activities, will he miss those activities for football?

most people realise they have to really work at a relationship for it to be a happy fulfilling one,

has it not occurred to him that if he doesn't meet his partner half way, they will decide that seeing as they only have one life they might want to spend it somewhere where they aren't taken for a mug,

He's not stupid, it has occurred to him, he just doesn't care, why would he, you put up with it so he has no reason to change.

If you are not being treated as an equal make sure that gets changed immediately, because you will regret all the time you wasted being used, and it will kill your relationship.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but if someone didn't care about me I wouldn't waste another second of my life on them.

You are just as entitled to a rich fulfilling life as he is, stop comprising yourself out of your life.

BambieO · 05/02/2013 22:08

I'm a football widow, my husband plays most Saturdays and Tuesday evenings. I can't really moan as he does get paid which helps us financially but it can be a pain.

I tend to plan around really. I use Saturdays as family/friend days and Tuesday evenings I have some time to myself and indulge in whatever I fancy.

Luckily football season is normally the rubbish weather and when season ends we have all summer to do what we like as a family.

I do think they need some time to themselves to do what they enjoy, it sounds from your post like its only two days and one evening a month, i could probably just live with that and have some 'me' time the other days?

What do you do the other Saturdays when he is not at football?

peppajay · 05/02/2013 22:22

The other Saturdays are fine and we always do something as a family or if I am invited to do something with friends it is not a problem. It's just the next 3 things I have coming up typically fall on football days!!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2013 22:34

Sorry to ask again but what is the thread title please? It's still reading as 'Unknown' to me

magimedi · 05/02/2013 22:36

Sorry to ask again but what is the thread title please? It's still reading as 'Unknown' to me

Me too, but football is an unknown thing to me - so it's probably quite a good title!

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2013 22:38

Oh hahaha! At least it's not just me then magimedi thanks

I'm going to look like a complete twat more so than usual if the OP says that's the title she picked!

peppajay · 05/02/2013 22:48

Wrote the original message on my phone and for hit 'post message' before I had written a title. Can't find how to change it, changed on to PC now but still can't find a way to edit title. Any ideas??

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2013 22:54

Oh right that makes sense OP

I was thinking it was my computer or something because this has happened before.

No, there's no way to edit the title I'm afraid.

HildaOgden · 05/02/2013 23:02

Use the services of a babysitter,and then neither of you have to miss out.

DoJo · 06/02/2013 00:14

It doesn't sound as though his commitment is excessive - could you not get external childcare for when clashes arise?

KatyTheCleaningLady · 06/02/2013 00:20

What would he do if you left the house before he did on that day? I mean, would he just leave the kids at home alone?

wannabedomesticgoddess · 06/02/2013 00:34

I do think they need some time to themselves to do what they enjoy

Oh yes. The menfolk deserve time to themselves. OP, get back to the kitchen.

The OP deserves time to herself too. Men are not some special sub species who we must put before ourselves. Its about compromise. A skill he seems to be lacking.

I am so glad DP hates football. I couldnt live like that.

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.