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(19 Posts)

I do think they need some time to themselves to do what they enjoy

Oh yes. The menfolk deserve time to themselves. OP, get back to the kitchen.


The OP deserves time to herself too. Men are not some special sub species who we must put before ourselves. Its about compromise. A skill he seems to be lacking.

I am so glad DP hates football. I couldnt live like that.

KatyTheCleaningLady Wed 06-Feb-13 00:20:10

What would he do if you left the house before he did on that day? I mean, would he just leave the kids at home alone?

DoJo Wed 06-Feb-13 00:14:21

It doesn't sound as though his commitment is excessive - could you not get external childcare for when clashes arise?

HildaOgden Tue 05-Feb-13 23:02:58

Use the services of a babysitter,and then neither of you have to miss out.

WorraLiberty Tue 05-Feb-13 22:54:23

Oh right that makes sense OP

I was thinking it was my computer or something because this has happened before.

No, there's no way to edit the title I'm afraid.

peppajay Tue 05-Feb-13 22:48:51

Wrote the original message on my phone and for hit 'post message' before I had written a title. Can't find how to change it, changed on to PC now but still can't find a way to edit title. Any ideas??

WorraLiberty Tue 05-Feb-13 22:38:10

Oh hahaha! At least it's not just me then magimedi thanks grin

I'm going to look like a complete twat more so than usual if the OP says that's the title she picked!

magimedi Tue 05-Feb-13 22:36:57

Sorry to ask again but what is the thread title please? It's still reading as 'Unknown' to me

Me too, but football is an unknown thing to me - so it's probably quite a good title!

WorraLiberty Tue 05-Feb-13 22:34:57

Sorry to ask again but what is the thread title please? It's still reading as 'Unknown' to me blush

peppajay Tue 05-Feb-13 22:22:16

The other Saturdays are fine and we always do something as a family or if I am invited to do something with friends it is not a problem. It's just the next 3 things I have coming up typically fall on football days!!

BambieO Tue 05-Feb-13 22:08:14

I'm a football widow, my husband plays most Saturdays and Tuesday evenings. I can't really moan as he does get paid which helps us financially but it can be a pain.

I tend to plan around really. I use Saturdays as family/friend days and Tuesday evenings I have some time to myself and indulge in whatever I fancy.

Luckily football season is normally the rubbish weather and when season ends we have all summer to do what we like as a family.

I do think they need some time to themselves to do what they enjoy, it sounds from your post like its only two days and one evening a month, i could probably just live with that and have some 'me' time the other days?

What do you do the other Saturdays when he is not at football?

quoteunquote Tue 05-Feb-13 22:07:36

I have also been invited for a day out in April but it is a football day and he refuses to miss footy to have kids

So, why does he get to pick and choose when he is a parent and you don't?

Sounds like he needs to do his fair share of parenting.

If you were divorced, and he had his children every second weekend how would he organise his childcare? ask him and suggest he does that.

what will his priorities be when his children have weekend activities, will he miss those activities for football?

most people realise they have to really work at a relationship for it to be a happy fulfilling one,

has it not occurred to him that if he doesn't meet his partner half way, they will decide that seeing as they only have one life they might want to spend it somewhere where they aren't taken for a mug,

He's not stupid, it has occurred to him, he just doesn't care, why would he, you put up with it so he has no reason to change.

If you are not being treated as an equal make sure that gets changed immediately, because you will regret all the time you wasted being used, and it will kill your relationship.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but if someone didn't care about me I wouldn't waste another second of my life on them.

You are just as entitled to a rich fulfilling life as he is, stop comprising yourself out of your life.

WorraLiberty Tue 05-Feb-13 21:54:23

OP just out of interest, what's the title of this thread please?

To me it says 'UnKnown'?

Anyone else getting that? I get it from time to time and then next time I log in, there'll be a proper title? confused

peppajay Tue 05-Feb-13 21:52:45

The calendar thing doesn't work in this instance coz all his fixtures are on there months in advance so he thinks if I want to go out or do something on a football day he already has a commitment but whereas his commitment!!

ConferencePear Tue 05-Feb-13 21:45:00

Get him to arrange and pay for alternative childcare arrangements.

manicbmc Tue 05-Feb-13 21:36:49

Hide his season ticket? grin

HollyBerryBush Tue 05-Feb-13 21:36:14

Doesnt bother me - I just used to make him take the kids to the matches

But if you think its bad now - you just wait until the kids start doing sports ande following teams and you have to be in 3 different places at once

we have the calender rule in our house - who ever gets there first with the pen and inks in the date, claims it. this avoids conflicts. Ie I book a day with friends, he wants to go to football? his problem if it isnt convenient and it becomes his problem to seek alternative arrangements

Nigglenaggle Tue 05-Feb-13 21:34:08

File for divorce? Arrange something for yourself on every single night/day that football isnt on. Get him to look after the kids. After a month, talk about both of you reducing some of your 'me' time.

peppajay Tue 05-Feb-13 21:30:06

To all other football widows out there AIBU in getting angry at the amount of matches my DH goes to and have I already have something arranged on match day or night and need him to have kids he should miss football. Generally he goes to every home game every other sat the occasional away game and nearly every match when they play on the evening about once a month. I go to a ladies group once a month and this month our dates clash. I have also been invited for a day out in April but it is a football day and he refuses to miss footy to have kids. He is quite happy me doing things for myself and going out friends just not on football days/nights. So How do all other football widows deal with similar issues?

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