To HATE the perception of 'quiet' people?

[SugarMouse1]

AIBU to HATE, HATE, HATE it when somebody asks 'why are you so quiet?'.

What is the point in this question?

Especially when its just because you dont scream into peoples faces like others do. Its such an ignorant thing to say, FFS.

I mean I can be making a lot of effort being, polite, freindly etc, and then everything gets ruined by this question, it makes things worse, I never want to talk after someone says something like that.

[AllYoursBabooshka]

I'm quiet too.

I think some people worry that you are being so quiet because there is something wrong/your not enjoying yourself.

[SugarMouse1]

I know- I WISH there was some way round this- i feel like i'm just banging my head against a brick wall.

[HeathRobinson]

YANBU.

And after they've asked it, everyone looks at you.
The last thing you want!

[LetsKateWin]

I hate it too.

not everyone has to be a loudmouth

[AllYoursBabooshka]

Also some people really cannot deal with sitting in silence for more than three seconds and assume everyone else is like them.

They exhaust me, do they ever just think?

[vjg13]

YANBU, I always remind the kids how important it is to listen. I'm quiet and like quiet people.

[MadBusLady]

You need the introvert threads!

[ArseyDarcey]

I'm another quiet one - my mums the same, she always says i take after her. but we're not quiet with each other

it also depends what group of people you are with, if it's a big group then i suppose i kind of sit back and listen more as there are usually one or two who like to be centre of a conversation.
if it's only a couple of people i do chat more.

[BunFagFreddie]

I've always wanted to reply with "Why are you such a twat?" when someone asks me that. I wouldn't though, because I'm too polite.

[foxache]

Yes, it's usually because I can't get a word in. Or been interrupted in the middle of something several times, and have now given up

Mostly, I don't have anything to say.

[AKissIsNotAContract]

People make incorrect assumptions about loud people too: you're loud, therefore you are confident, therefore I can say shitty things to you and you won't take offence.

Some people are just wankers.

[thekatsatonthematt]

euphemia I was so close to saying exactly that to my inlaws once!!!!

[MrsLouisTheroux]

Akiss I agree, people assume loud = confident, bossy, outgoing.
IME, some of the quietest people I know are the most confident, self assured,
controlling, opinionated ...

[cumfy]

I'm an introvert but I think you're over-reacting a little.

You could just tell them why.

[EmpressMaud]

I was about to suggest the introvert thread too!

I haven't personally been on the receiving end of this comment (I'm very confident but reserved and introverted at the same time) but I don't know how you'd begin to respond to that. Though the temptation to use one of the responses other posters suggested would be great

[marjproops]

Im the same, I get told Im boring/miserable/somethings wrong.

I cant stand loud noise (misophonia) anyway and why is it when you talk quietly people shout back to you cause they think you're deaf????!!

[EmpressMaud]

Or you can even find yourself accused of being snobbish (I only overheard this).

[reallyyummymummy]

I have been asked this question before. Usually by someone who is so loud it defies belief.

[TheMouseDancing]

Yanbu.

I was going to type a response but I think Euphemia sums it up nicely

[pineapplecrush]

I was labelled quiet as a child and I remember My Dad returning from a parents evening and telling me the teacher thought I was quiet, he said to me "and what's wrong with being quiet?". Quite. I think people today are louder than they used to be. Everything seems louder. As Allyours says some people cannot bear being silent. The office behind me is like that - they never stop talking drivel. Exhausting it is and definitely not conducive to productivity.

[BoundandRebound]

Introvert and extrovert is just a personality type. Don't understand why it's ok to attack extroverts for being loud though, not sure they can help it

I was once told that the sign of an extrovert is announcing when you go to the toilet

[MamaBear17]

I am the opposite - well, sort of. I wouldn't say I am loud, but when I am in company that I am familiar with I am chatty and will always offer my opinion on something. I'm not confident though. Will spend hours going over conversations in my head worrying that other people might think badly of me because of something I have said. I would never be so rude as to ask a quieter person why they are quiet (it seems like a stupid question to ask tbh) but I wonder if people ask it to deflect attention away from themselves?

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

YANBU

I am quiet, and because of that people have assumed that I am stuck up, moody, bored or boring.

I don't go around asking loud people 'whats wrong' .