... about 3.5 year old taunts

[oinkyoink]

hi all, recently over the xmas hols we have notice our 3.5yo dd being quite anxious and not herself. she is at nursery and seems happy enough but she has started telling us bits of information here and there - one girl, say girl X has hurt her fingers and not been very nice and another girl Y has told her she is not special, that curly hair isn't nice, straight hair is nicer and so is golden hair. My dd has curly hair and girl Y has blond straight hair. is this really happening at this age? how should I deal with it?
at one point last term she came home saying "i am girl X, i am girl X" it seems to me to be this hold that bullies have over others some times.... she is in awe of her and looks up to her. The funny thing is that the same names are mentioned in relation to these nasty comments all the time...

am i taking it all too seriously? i don't like the series of comments she has been repeating to us that they are saying and she seems quite anxious, clingy and wants her comforter all the time... not sure what is going on. should i say it to the teachers?
thanks...

[MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel]

I do think you are taking it all a bit seriously - 'the hold that bullies have over others'? at 3? My DD1 pretended she was Pippin the dog, a pirate, a fairy, a mechanic and a million other things at that age, DD2 is a similar age to your DD and pretends she is different people too.

If I were you I would probably mention to the teacher about her being hurt and ask her to keep an eye on it, from what you have said it sounds like a one off. I don't think that girl Y is being nasty with the hair thing. Maybe someone said something to her about her hair and her Mum told her that straight blonde hair is the best or something.

When things like this have been said to my children I tell them that all different people like all different things and it would be a boring world if we were all the same so girl Y likes that kind of hair best but some people like curly hair and some people like blue hair....etc. The more upset you are about it the more upset she will be.

[DeWe]

It sounds like normal 3yos to me.
Dd2 seemed to frequently be "another child. Ds often was his best friend-a little girl, and used to introduce himself by a girl's name-or a dog.

The hair thing, again children like to compare themselves. Your dd started by saying "curly hair is nicer" before child Y replied.

And they do tend to pick on the same names over and over again-even if it wasn't that child.
I remember dd2 telling me something "dreadful" that a child in her class did-until I remembered that child had been way that week . And the teachers told me when I mentioned it that children to tend to blame the same children all the time-my ds is now a victim of this now, unfortunately he tends to admit to everything as the easy way out too, which is very difficult for the teachers to be fair.

[Dannilion]

I grew up with thick, unruly blonde curls and was constantly teased since I can remember about them. My mother tells me that when I was in nursery, I got so fed up with a particular girl being mean to me about it..That I suggested playing hairdressers, and cut all of her beautiful poker straight brown hair off.

I don't really know where I was going with posting this, but just to let you know that I love my hair now, and that girl never teased me again! (apparently)

[Minshu]

My DD is a similar age, and I've been getting increasingly disturbed about what she tells me now. But, the rational part of me tells me not to believe all the details and that this type of behaviour is probably normal. The nursery key workers would tell us if anything serious was happening, I believe.