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To think it's the same as opening my mail.

(19 Posts)
RinkyDinkyDoo Mon 03-Dec-12 20:45:45

PIL look after DS at my house on Tuesdays after school til I get home from work. The last 3 weeks when I've got in, FIL has said, oh the answer machine was bleeping,so I've played it, it's (insert name) and they say (insert message). Or, answer machine was bleeping,it's something about an appointment at the doctors.
I could understand if the phone had rang and he'd answered to take a message, but it's pissing me off that the messages are for myself or DH, not for him. I know the beeping noise for an hour until I get in must also be annoying, but I wouldn't dream of playing any one elses messages.
I really feel it's like opening my mail- communication which is for me, not for him to listen to. AIBU.

scurryfunge Mon 03-Dec-12 20:47:49

I wouldn't care. Turn the answer phone off if it bothers you.

pictish Mon 03-Dec-12 20:48:58

Mmmm...he probably just wants to stop the infernal beeping! I would too!
Mind you, I'd probably just unplug it.

timeforachangebaby Mon 03-Dec-12 20:49:30

Yep turn it off - beeping for an hour would do my head in I'd prObably listen if it made it stop

Sparklyblue Mon 03-Dec-12 20:49:50

YANBU. He is a nosy sod.

BRANdishingMistletoe Mon 03-Dec-12 20:49:52

If it's actually beeping then I can see why he did it. Some people are more sensitive to persistent noise than others and constant beeping would drive me insane. Can you turn off the noise so that it's just a flashing light and then ask him not to play the messages because you like to pick up all your messages after dinner (or some other excuse).

purpleroses Mon 03-Dec-12 20:51:19

I'd never leave a message on an answer machine saying anything private that I wouldn't want overhead, so I would doubt anyone else would either. If it bothers you, use voicemail instead which will ask for for a PIN before you play your messages back. It's free from most phone providers.

Leithlurker Mon 03-Dec-12 20:51:48

Yea pretty BU, any one of those messages, or any future message could be of urgent and vital importance, might even be you leaving him a message saying you have been held up. Unlike letters phone messages never have that much personal information. Possibly embarrassing information like gp appointment that's hardly a big issue though.

DontmindifIdo Mon 03-Dec-12 20:53:02

The bleeping would be annoying, can you change the settings so it doesn't do that?

RinkyDinkyDoo Mon 03-Dec-12 20:53:31

Have just turned the beep off,thanks,simple idea-doh on my part for not thinking of that.

TidyDancer Mon 03-Dec-12 20:55:01

Oh good Lord no, he is NBU. That beeping must be driving him insane. Either change the settings on the ansaphone or suck it up that he'll hear what's on there.

TidyDancer Mon 03-Dec-12 20:55:21

X-post. Good job.

NamingOfParts Mon 03-Dec-12 21:01:51


My DH suggested that you reference him to the Leverson Enquiry.

What exactly does he think he is adding to the message by listening to it and telling you? <perhaps he could pass on your messages through the medium of dance?>

How does your DH feel about this? We have the rule that I 'manage' my DM and he 'manages' his DParents. Would your DH be prepared to speak to his DF and tell ask him to leave the messages alone as you & he are worried that you will miss one if someone else is picking up messages.

He probably thinks he is being helpful as this is his son's home and doesnt realise that he is stepping over a boundary. If your DH & DFiL have a good relationship then I think this would be best coming from him.

RinkyDinkyDoo Mon 03-Dec-12 21:08:36

smile at through the medium of dance
DH not aware,haven't told him as it pissed me off, but not enough to cause any ructions. I've set it to silent now, so hopefully that will be the end of it.
I can't believe so many others think it's ok to listen to other people's messages though.

pictish Mon 03-Dec-12 21:12:48

We don't - we think beeping gets on our tits!

NamingOfParts Mon 03-Dec-12 21:45:21

Now that you have set the answer phone to silent see how it goes but if DFiL continues to pick up the messages then it would be best to get DH to speak to him sooner rather than later.

Before anyone questions the 'get DH to speak' bit, it is just how we do things. DH & I have been married over 20 years and I would still expect DH to deal with something like this as it would be better coming from him than me.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Mon 03-Dec-12 22:13:29

My dad would do the same because
1, the beeping would fuck him off
2, he would be worried there was an urgent message from either me (relating to kids) or mum who (who is disabled and falls occasionally) he is a worrier.

whois Mon 03-Dec-12 23:04:15

My parents are nosy, they would defo listen to the messages. I'm not that bothered tbh so for that YABU especially if there was beeping

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Mon 03-Dec-12 23:08:30

YABU to expect people to listen to beeping for an hour.

YABVU because you actually knew it was annoying them.

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