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To be fuming at unauthorised absence?

(31 Posts)
Ayomi Thu 29-Nov-12 05:06:15

My 4 yo dd is in reception class. I had requested 2 days off to attend my wedding (the day after too as I anticipate tiredness and hassle for grandma trying to get her there). I duely handed in the holiday form only to be told her absence will be unauthorised as the reason isn't good enough! I accept that the second day is dubious, but really - ambu to think a mothers wedding is a good enough reason to have leave when you are 4? It's not even as if she is compulsory school age. Very annoyed and have a mind to write s strongly worded letter but do not wish to upset the apple cart :/

TroublesomeEx Thu 29-Nov-12 10:09:42

I also think it's a bit odd that they didn't authorise this. Or at least authorise the day of the wedding itself. As much as anything, it looks better for the school to have fewer unauthorised absences on their record. Telling parents an absence will be unauthorised is intended to get the parent to rethink the decision, which, in this case, you aren't going to do!

But in the grand scheme of things, whether an absence is authorised/unauthorised won't make any difference to you.

However, I would just like to dispell this myth (again!) about children not of compulsory school age. Whilst a child isn't required to start school until the term after their fifth birthday, once they have started school, they are bound by the same attendance requirements as anyone else whether they are 5 yet or not. Many people are of the opinion that absences during Reception year don't matter if the child is 4. It doesn't work like that. smile

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 29-Nov-12 10:30:38

I expect they have a blanket policy on authorising absence, and they will only authorise things that genuinely couldn't be avoided at all.

Don't take it personally, I'm sure the head would understand on a personal level if you explained it to her, but as your dd is still so little, she won't know whether you are the sort of parent to keep your child off school at the drop of a hat of if you are the sort of parent that tries to avoid absence.

I expect the head wants to send out a message to all parents that they take attendance seriously, because if you told other parents that your wedding was authorised, she could be questioned by other parents who had been refused permission for things that were equally important to them.

Really, don't worry about it.

Startail Thu 29-Nov-12 17:14:20

The whole absence business is totally ridiculous, it simply encourages parents to lie and spoils home school relations.

Twice this term I've chickened out of telling them DD2 was going to be missing, even though the first thing I thought they'd be OK about (almost certainly they can call it educational) and the second was a music exam which I know is allowed.

Whoknowswhocares Thu 29-Nov-12 17:44:48

As stated above, your DD is not compelled to attend school AT ALL until she is 5. So how some jobs worth can decide she is not allowed to go to her mothers wedding instead is farcical!

Enjoy your day

IAmNotACaterpillar Thu 29-Nov-12 17:55:50

Actually legally the school can't do anything anyway if your child is under the legal age of 5 (as in they dont have to start school until the term after they turn 5). I took dd (then 4) out of school for 7 days - a few days before the Easter holidays and a few days after as we were going on a massive holiday. In my holiday request form I listed everything she would be experiencing and demonstrated how this would meet the requirements of the EYFS (lets just say I have a working knowledge of it!!). The head told me he was very impressed with the form and that I was absolutely right. However, the holiday was authorised for the sole reason that she was not yet required to attend school! He told me that legally they couldnt fine me anyway.

So whilst, yes, once your child is in school you are bound by their rules they do have far more discretion to grant authorised absence. In your situation OP, I wouldnt worry about it. Just take her out and enjoy your wedding. Dont ring in sick - she's 4 and bound to let it slip!

Ayomi Fri 30-Nov-12 07:04:21

Thank you all for taking time to post smile
I bumped into head teacher in playground yesterday and she was very understanding but explained her hands were tied. Told her I respected that but I would be taking her out anyway but would try to get her in weds. She even requested dd bring in photos for show and tell smile
Feel so much better now smile

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