AIBU not to want my 7yo to use the word "sexy"

[AChickenCalledKorma]

Quick straw poll to help me decide whether to make an issue of this.

Photographers in school today, taking some of those slightly vomit-worthy "casual" school pictures (which is a whole other thread!).

DD2 was delighted to inform me that they had music playing in the background, including a song with the words "you're so sexy baby" in it. She went on to tell me that the teacher who runs the dance club also uses the same song and they've all been singing along to it. She knows I don't like her talking about people being sexy. That's why she told me, in a rather gloating manner ("ha ha, I can say it at school even if I can't say it at home!").

Am trying to decide whether to tell the school I'm unhappy. I know the head very well and it would be easy enough to mention it, without actually making a proper complaint. But maybe I'm out of touch?

[TENDTOprocrastinate]

This song is really causing some dilemmas! My dd1 (5) likes this song- dispite me turning it off as soon as it comes on the radio. She thinks it says "licking a body". She sings it! It's just awful.

Do you know they were specifically playing it- or did it come on the radio? Most stations seem to okay it.

She told me today that "boys like it and girls don't" I couldn't work out what she meant by this?? Apparently they were playing it during half term at her school holiday camp. I was wondering whether to say something- but at the same time I think listening to pop music is usually ok.diffucult to police perhaps.

[TENDTOprocrastinate]

Just re read your post- I initially thought you meant the "I'm sexy and I know it" song. Not sure now- but still relevant I guess.

[ilovetermtime]

I doubt your DD knows what it means, so it's just another naughty word like poo and bum. I think this because my DS when he was 7 started calling me sexy mama for some reason (I assume he picked it up at school), I started off by telling him he shouldn't say that, which of course made him say it more, then I told him that he was going to seriously regret calling me it when he's older, but he still does it. Oh well, I warned him!

Don't you listen to the radio at home though? Loads of songs have the word sexy in them....

[juniper904]

Do you mean Gangham Style?

They played it on X Factor at least twice, so most of my school know it. It has a dance too...

[AChickenCalledKorma]

I don't know exactly which song it was. Could have been either of those. I guess it doesn't much matter which one it was, the question is whether "sexy" has become such a commonplace word now that it is OK for a 7yo to be using it?

To me, it seems very different from poo or bum. But I am quite possibly out of touch.

(And no, we don't have the radio on much at home and DD1 is not remotely interested in pop music, so this is new territory for me.)

[BadgersBottom]

Maybe this is a defeatist attitude but I'm all for starting fights I have a hope of winning.......If you ban her from using the word, or go complaining to the teacher nothing's going to change. The word will still be out there and she'll still hear it all over the place. It's just life as it is now - unpalatable as that may be to you!

[beautyguru]

Glad I'm not alone in thinking the word "sexy" isn't a word that should be used by 7 year olds..my DD is 7 and said it once..I didn't tell her off but simply said its a grown up word that I don't like her using. But so many pop songs have it in its difficult to avoid which makes me sad as I firmly believe in letting children be children. I'm constantly muting the radio in the car or talking very loudly over it!!

[AChickenCalledKorma]

Further research reveals it is Gangnam Style. Have just watched the video to see what it's all about. DD2 likes the bit where the man sits on the loo and has no idea why the ladies are waggling their bums around. I guess I should be thankful for that ...

Still don't like her singing sexy, but I'm getting the feeling that it's one of those words whose meaning is changing, so I'm not going to bring it up at school.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I think at that age they don't really understand what it actually means,it's just a word in a song they like.

I think not making any kind of issue out of it is the best way forward. I can appreciate why you don't like it though. When I was about 10 Tom Jones Sex Bomb was really popular,got played on the radio all the time,I'd sing along thinking it was hilarious that I was saying "sex bomb" but completely missing the ruder elements of the song. I remember absolutely not being allowed to sing the Alice song when I was about 6 though.


As an aside...am I the only person who detests women referring to their sons as "my sexy little man"? I find it so hideously inappropriate,it makes my skin crawl. Children are not sexy. Ever and shouldn't be described as such.

[ChocHobNob]

We are having the exact same thing with our 7 year old, because he is becoming more aware of music. He thinks sexy means gorgeous. I don't particularly like young children using the word and did pull him up on it at first but his friends at school use it and it's in almost every song on the radio. I wouldnt raise it with the school personally. My kids' school does warm up for PE to Gangnam Style.

[Nagoo]

I had this same AIBU a couple of months back.

I really don't like it, and I have told DS it not something I expect to hear him say.

Thing is, even when you listen to Smooth 70s or whatever shite they have on at my work, they lyrics were perverted even then .... I think that as parents we are over sensitive to the connotations, and for the DC it goes over their heads.

[GoldPlatedNineDoors]

Well, my sister at the age of five used to sing "I want to be a hippy and I want to get stoned on mara- marajuana" (sp?) much to the frustration of my parents who had never allowed the song to be played around her.

Sge had no idea what she was singing and thankfully is a lovely non-druggy, mildly hippyish decent member of society, do really, it's not.going to alter her personality is it.

Making a big thing of it makes it taboo, too, which surely just makes it more fun for them?

[AChickenCalledKorma]

"Children are not sexy. Ever and shouldn't be described as such." - Alis - you have absolutely summed up how I feel about it. Sexy is for adults. Full stop.

[squeakytoy]

Sexy has been a word used in song lyrics since the 70's at least.. and i was growing up then, singing along to Rod Stewart and others.. it is just a word, it really doesnt mean anything to children, it is just the adults that seem to get in a tizz about it these days..

[beautyguru]

Alis- also totally agree, a child should never, ever be described as sexy. ever. full stop.

[TraineeBabyCatcher]

I hate it. I hate the word in general. I hate my (almost) 5 year old singing it. I hate it being used in songs which people then deem acceptable to play regularly around children. I hate that our local soft play centre uses the NOW (what ever is most recent) 80 something cd as the background music to a 5 year olds pass the parcel, musical statues, games etc.

I hate hate hate! -And breath-

[SantaisBarredfromhavingStella]

Oh dear, my 3 yo DD dances To Gangnam Style at her dance class-find it mildly amusing if I'm being honest.....

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Santa - I just smiled to myself imagining a class of 3 year olds doing the Gangnam Style dance!

[SantaisBarredfromhavingStella]

Yep, it's pretty funny

[spottyock]

I've recently had a conversation with my nearly 7yo about sexy because of song lyrics. Difficult to describe. It's not a naughty word but children shouldn't really be saying it. I just asked her not to sing it at school in the end.

[NoisyDay]

My 7yo ds has also been sexy, asked him what it meant and he said "hot," my head nearly exploded! It's not appropriate for a child at all, I know they don't know what it means but they don't know what fuck means either and I wouldn't want him saying that, nor would most people I imagine. Horrible thing to hear a child say.

[IwishIwasmoreorganised]

I've had a similar conversation with ds1 this week. I've told him that it's not a word that children should be using and I don't want to hear him say it again.

We'll see how effective I was in due course!

[CreepyLittleBat]

Not appropriate for a school dance club at all. I would mention it. I'm in that business and we would never go there! The purpose of performing arts at that age should be to boost the childrens' self esteem, not to make them think they have to conform to someone else's idea of attractiveness.

[OkayHazel]

Aged 7 I bloody loved the Spice Girls and sang '2 Become 1' to my hearts content. Of course I had no idea what it actually meant, but looking back my parents must have been horrified!

'Be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put in on....' ;)