Ever since I've known DP he's been a worrier. When we first started talking he would constantly bring up stuff that was worrying him or illnesses he thought he might have.
The big thing is that he has been suffering pains and convinced himself he had cancer. He went backwards and forwards to doctors until they agreed to a full blood count - that came back clear. Still not happy, he carried on complaining of pains so they sent him for an MRi, that came back clear. Still not convinced, he went back and they sent him for a lumbar puncture. Now he's been worrying about the results of this for weeks now and I asked him what he intended to do if they came back clear - he said he would be happy with that.
Well, they have come back clear and now he's decided he wants another blood test doing. I sympathise with him as his father died recently of cancer and I know what it's like to convince yourself you have a terminal illness but I feel like his obsession is coming inbetween us. It's like he can never just be happy, he always has to find something to worry about.
I tried to reason with him that if all these tests have come back clear, it's a pretty positive sign that he hasn't got anything nasty and so he said he can't understand why he's always so tired if there is nothing wrong with him - this soon turned into a "maybe I need to take it easy and not do as much" which I kinda took as him saying he won't be seeing me as much as he needs to rest. Which would be fine if he was genuinely ill but how many tests is it going to take to convince him that he isn't ill??
The thing is, it happens in all areas of his life. He's reluctant to move our relationship on as he's constantly worried about his kids reaction. The youngest is 15 and they've known about me for months - yet he won't let me meet them.
He wants to come on holiday with me, yet is reluctant as he's worried about what his kids will think if they find out.
He's constantly analyzing his divorce and what it has done to his kids.
He's constantly worrying about his sister who has a disabled child.
I think, deep down he's worried about getting too involved with me incase I hurt him.
Everything is a worry with him. It drains me. Sometimes I wonder if he's just got too much going on for me to cope with?
There is 10 years between us. I'm 30, he's 40. Is it the age gap?
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Boyfriend's obsession with being ill/finding problems is getting me down.
43 replies
RedDeadinBed · 16/11/2012 11:45
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