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AIBU to let dh sleep even though he promised dc a trip out?

(25 Posts)
SnortGlassesWatchAndSlacks Sun 14-Oct-12 16:36:09

He promised to take dc to the swimming pool this weekend as a reward for good behaviour all week.

He came home at 1pm today, horribly hungover, after a rare night out and staying with friends. He's been asleep in the sofa since two. Before faking asleep, he says the dc will be fine and he'll strike a deal with them to go another day.

They have been excited all weekend and behaved very well. If I let him sleep, we will miss the opportunity to go to the pool and they will be disappointed but part of me is cross that he think they are just little pawns to be bought off by a promise of an even better treat (this I what will be offered). I would like him to see how disappointed they would be when he doesn't keep his promise but this doesn't feel fair on the dc. If I wake him up and "make" him take us, I will be the evil one who has ruined his kip (I went out on Sat night and got home quite late, he woke me at 8am yesterday trying to find sports kit for dc1 and though he bought tea and toast up I would rather have had a bit more kip!

He does this quite frequently, promise one thing and then "buy" them off when he changes his mind. I'd rather he didn't promise anything at all.


LindyHemming Sun 14-Oct-12 16:37:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 14-Oct-12 16:42:09

Swimming is great for hangovers. No lie, it really is. I think swimming is a great and healthy treat for them so I would make him go ask him to go.

WhatSuitTitSuit Sun 14-Oct-12 16:42:54

Wake him up!! He promised to take them so he should!

SnortGlassesWatchAndSlacks Sun 14-Oct-12 16:43:03

They are dying to show him how well thy have done in their swimming lessons- I take them to the pool for this and so me taking them just isn't what they are after. I will do if he doesn't get offer sofa but the disappointment will be there all the same, it's his attention they want not mine.

Mrsjay Sun 14-Oct-12 16:44:33

Id get him to take them he did promise them it isn't their fault he is hungover, wake him up and throw the swimming bag at him and it will shake the hangover ,

StuntGirl Sun 14-Oct-12 16:46:18

I would wake him up if the reason he's not taking them is a bloody hangover. You are teaching your children promises don't matter. Wake him up, go as a family and enjoy a day out. Miserable sod.

WhatSuitTitSuit Sun 14-Oct-12 16:47:39

And a 3 hour hangover sleep is a total luxury when you have kids, he should be bloody grateful!

Mrsjay Sun 14-Oct-12 16:47:52

It is going to get to the stage where the children will lose respect for their dad and be disappointed all the time 'stuff' does not make children happy in the long term,

ClippedPhoenix Sun 14-Oct-12 16:54:19

Well OP no you aren't the unreasonable one at all. HE went and got shit faced, HE promised to take them swimming and is now letting them down.
You say he does this a lot. Well honey, he is always going to do this because he thinks he comes first.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 14-Oct-12 16:55:56

Ive been known to have a few too many now and again but what I haven't done is promise my son to take him somewhere the next day and not do it.

SnortGlassesWatchAndSlacks Sun 14-Oct-12 17:10:51

That is pretty much it Phoenix! we have to fall in line with him. Hum ho.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 14-Oct-12 17:17:25

Hmmm, is his home HIS castle too OP? Is he the boss?

Inertia Sun 14-Oct-12 17:18:19

1 . Get the children to wake him up to take them swimming.

2. No more promises. He keeps letting them down, and breaking promises is worse than never considering it in the first place. In future, only tell them what you're all doing once you start doing it.

fraktion Sun 14-Oct-12 17:19:07

YANBU. The DC need him, he's had all day to get over the hangover and he promised.

fraktion Sun 14-Oct-12 17:19:55

Sorry YABU!

Wow I so very rarely use that it got autocorrected.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 14-Oct-12 17:21:01

Trouble is inertia with the type of man the OP is dealing with when you go down that route he will see it as more of a get out clause and do even less.

Kendodd Sun 14-Oct-12 17:21:07

Do you need him to drive you? If so he may still be over the limit and not in good condition to drive.

MrsWooster Sun 14-Oct-12 17:27:43

What StuntGirl said - a promise is a promise and your kids know that. He'll feel a bit shit but he won't die.

Proudnscary Sun 14-Oct-12 17:34:19

Totally depends on what he's normally like, what the balance is like in your house/relationship, whether the things he lets the kids down about is usual parent stuff eg I promise the kids small things all the time that I don't manage to do if we run out of time or whatever, it's not the end of the world if he's seriously not shirking responsibilities or not spending enough quality time with them.

If he thinks it's his house his way, if hangovers and subsequent uselessness is becoming more frequent, if you do the lionshare of domestic./parenting stuff then you need to have a big think and a big word.

I say all this because I would personally let my dh sleep it off because he is a hands on parent, always ferrying kids around here and there and at home with them every day so I would just think 'arehole', shrug, then take them swimming and let him sleep.

Proudnscary Sun 14-Oct-12 17:34:57

Or even 'arsehole'

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 14-Oct-12 17:38:21

Wake him up, the lazy arse.

They will lose all respect for him if he doesn't keep his promises. I cannot abide men who think that they are the most important members of the family.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 14-Oct-12 17:40:10

proud has it spot on here op.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 14-Oct-12 19:19:37

So... Is he taking them?

attheendoftheday Sun 14-Oct-12 20:20:55

I would wake him up, he knew he had promised to take the kids out when he went out drinking, so I'd consider it his own fault.

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