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To not want babysitter to get in my bed?

(22 Posts)
CharlotteWasBoth Sat 13-Oct-12 00:07:23

Background. Babysitter was putting kids to bed. I always read them a story all sitting together on my bed as it's the comfiest place upstairs. So i suggested that she do the same.

We're having building work done so no sofas to sit on downstairs, only dining chairs. Upstairs there are comfy chairs in the study or the loft. There's also a comfy chair in my room.

When I came back the only light on was in my room. I was already annoyed that she'd spend the evening in my bedroom. But then I asked her, "Did you find somewhere to sit?" she said "On your bed". In fact, from the rumpled duvet, it's clear she was actually in the bed.

I'm really pissed off -- it seems like a massive intrusion. AIBU?

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Oct-12 00:11:02

Some people aren't bothered about people sitting about on their beds, but I wouldn't be up for it.

All those Other People germs, probably right where you put your face, ewww.

Is she youngish? It sounds like something young 'uns wouldn't think twice about, they're always sat about eating biscuits and crisps on their mates beds.

They'll learn.

Graciescotland Sat 13-Oct-12 00:11:27

Maybe the kids rumpled the duvet during storytime

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sat 13-Oct-12 00:11:54

I think yabu because you told her she could sit on the bed with the dc, so she probably didn't think you would mind her sitting there after the dc were in bed.

If she got into the bed, YANBU to feel a bit wierd about it, but are you sure she got under the duvet instead of staying in top and folding it over?

queenofthepirates Sat 13-Oct-12 00:13:38

Some people don't see the boundaries and need them gently spelt out.
Like my mother.

BridgetBidet Sat 13-Oct-12 00:17:57

Yeah, same as Outraged. YABU because you told her it was okay to sit on the bed and read the kids a story so this would have given her the impression that you were okay for her to be in the bedroom and sit on the bed.

It is VERY bad manners to go into somebody's bedroom uninvited when you are at their house but by suggesting she read the story in your bedroom you had effectively sanctioned the bedroom not being off limits.

If you don't want someone sitting on your bed don't tell them it's okay.

SirBoobAlot Sat 13-Oct-12 00:19:42

Think you're being unreasonable because that's what you suggested she do. And I doubt she was actually in the bed, the duvet probably just got rumpled when they were sat on it.

Bogeyface Sat 13-Oct-12 00:21:09

She was invited into your room and she sat (or lounged) on the bed. I dont see the problem. I would have pointed out that after the kids were in bed she would probably be best in the study (or wherever), but as you didnt, you canr really complain.

Are you sure she was in the bed, or was on top of it? I find it hard to believe that she crawled in and snuggled down tbh.

WorraLiberty Sat 13-Oct-12 00:22:53

I don't see the problem either as you'd already invited her into your bedroom and okay'd her sitting on your bed.

Bogeyface Sat 13-Oct-12 00:23:34

Oh and YABVU to expect a babysitter to come to a home with no lounge/sofa etc and then not make the best of a bad situation. May I suggest that you wait until you can offer appropriate hospitality before you ask someone to spend an evening in your home?

Is there a TV in the study, loft or bedroom?

CharlotteWasBoth Sat 13-Oct-12 00:23:43

From the shape of the pillows and the pushed back duvet it's clear she was actually in the bed.

Point taken about her thinking it was ok because she read stories on the bed.

She's 35 though!

Personally I wouldn't want to get into someone else's bed myself. Maybe I should bemoan our recurrent threadworms if I ever get her round again. (No joke!)

imperialstateknickers Sat 13-Oct-12 00:25:54

Err... you told her to read story on your bed? And are now going ballistic because she stayed there?
FFS listen to yourself and get a grip!

WorraLiberty Sat 13-Oct-12 00:27:31

If you have recurrent threadworms, you probably shouldn't have invited her to read the story there in the first place.

Mind you, I assume she was fully clothed and not wiping her arse all over your sheets?

CharlotteWasBoth Sat 13-Oct-12 00:28:06

Ooh, ouch Bogeyface! She was getting paid, I wasn't offering hospitality. She cleans for us, knows exactly where everything is, knows we're having building work done. So if she hadn't felt comfortable with the facilities on offer she could have said no.

When she's babysat in the past she's done story time in my room then moved somewhere else. I didn't think I needed to spell out that she should not spend the whole evening hanging out in my room. In my bed.

CharlotteWasBoth Sat 13-Oct-12 00:30:53

Anyway I suppose the point is that this isn't the first time she's done something which she thinks is perfectly ok but I find weird. Night all.

Bogeyface Sat 13-Oct-12 00:30:54

Doesnt matter if she is being paid.

Would you do a job where you would expect office space but were offered someones car? If you took it, wouldnt you make yourself as comfortable as possible in that car?

Sounds like you dont value her very much.

Quadrangle Sat 13-Oct-12 00:32:44

Did you show her the comfy chairs in the study and the loft when she first arrived and is there a TV in those places? Maybe she wanted to have a back rest when she read the stories on the bed as you had instructed and had to sit against the head board for that?

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Oct-12 00:33:10

Don't go Charlotte, tell us about the other weird things she does.

Quadrangle Sat 13-Oct-12 00:35:31

How do you know she spent the whole evening sitting in your bed?

UltraBOF Sat 13-Oct-12 00:40:52

The only evidence I ever had of a babysitter 'using' my bed was a wrap of cocaine shoved slightly under it...well, I say wrap, it was a teeny bit left in some cellophane. Not even enough to really make use of, which would have been some consolation. She was 16 shock. I didn't ask her to babysit again.

PinkFairyDust Sat 13-Oct-12 01:06:53

UltraBOF - did you say something to her?! Or her parents?!

UltraBOF Sat 13-Oct-12 01:11:14

I couldn't really- its not as though I could really prove it, and they were near neighbours, so if they had taken exception to me accusing her it would have made life rather awkward. The only other candidates were my extremely square Australian cousin and his wife, who had visited and slept here, but I truly can't believe it was them. But as I couldn't say for sure, I just kept schtum.

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