Name-changed for this as a regular.
I feel really down. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with a 2 year-old who takes up every working minute of my day. He's gorgeous, delightful but very needy for my time and attention (which I guess most 2 year olds are). My Mum, who is very helpful with my DS, is away on holiday for the next 2 months. My MIL is not really a 'baby person' (her words), so though I have a fairly ok relationship with her, she never offers to take DS (even for an hour) to give me some respite.
I have recently had a health scare, and am awaiting results for a biopsy which may mean I may have cancer. I am devastated beyond belief. I went in today for blood results and they said I have to wait for a phone call to see whether I have it or not. I feel so hurt that my Mum would leave me when I need her most (she knows of the potential cancer) and go on holiday (not even for a few weeks, but TWO MONTHS). I know this is incredibly selfish of me, but I need her so much. We are very usually very close, but it seems all the times when I desperately need her advice (and love!), she is away. I have a miscarriage a few years back, and she left on holiday 2 days after. Last year I had terrible PND after the birth of my son but again she was away for 3 months. She's worked hard her entire life, and retired recently so I feel like such a shit to begrudge her the happiness she feels when she is travelling.
But at the same time, I have no one else to turn to. DH is lovely, but he can't face the seriousness of my condition, and is throwing himself into work. My heart is breaking for my little boy, and our baby on the way and the only person I need and want is my Mum. I can't tell her all this on the phone as I don't want to spoil her holiday.
Just so sad :( :(
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12 replies
pinkoyster · 11/10/2012 19:40
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