For my SEN son's items to come home again?

[NineteenForever]

DS,11, with ASD, started at secondary last week. He is with a TA, who looks after him and another yr 7, taking them to lessons, supporting them there and also in the ASD unit where they have their own drawer/box.

We named (nearly) everything. On the first PE lesson we sent in the PE kit and also a towel and trunks, because he has swimming this term and we didn't know which PE lesson was actually swimming.

DS comes home, no swimming kit. Yes we didn't name the towel or trunks ( in fact he also had a pair of waterproof swim pants in there because he's not quite continent-school know this) but it seems he's been sent into the changing room and just left to get changed and ensure he has all his stuff.

He has no conc

[NineteenForever]

No concept of losing things.

School said they'd look for the swim kit. Anyway, he goes in yesterday with a rain coat on,named. Coat doesn't come home. Grrrrrr.

Am I being unreasonable?

[BlackberryIce]

You aren't!!

But my son is not SEN but strangely has lost a PE kit and coat already as well!! Named also.

[bumpybecky]

sorry but I think you are being a bit UR to expect all his things to come home the same day...

is the ta with him for all social times as well as lessons? if not I can see why things like coats are going missing :(

the swimming stuff though someone should have checked he had it after the lesson, but then you should have named it (absolutely essential to name stuff when you've got a child prone to losing stuff)

the kit might turn up still, things normally take a day or so to filter through the lost property system

[ScariestFairyByFar]

TA should be supporting him to remember his stuff so it hopefully eventually becomes natural.

[ilikemysleep]

They are probably still learning exactly what levels of support he needs, and for what. I'd probably ask for a meeting or send in a note asking them to support him with some sort of checklist to use to ensure he's got his stuff, and a final check with the TA before he goes. They will want to look towards developing his independence skills (which in the longer term is reasonable IMO) but it sounds like they have not quite understood where he is up to yet.

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

YANBU!

I agree with sheep, the TA probably hasn't realised yet that he needs a lot of help to not lose things.

The stuff will turn up, and hopefully your ds and the TA will take the most from this they can and be more vigilant in future.

I feel for you! This term is a hard one, it will be a very sharp learning curve for you all.

[DayShiftDoris]

YANBU

And BumpyBecky... WHY is she BU to expect them home the same day? Is that not a reasonable request, especially in view of identified needs and support being provided and PAID for by the LA? Never mind lost property filtering it should have never got lost - he has a bloody TA to ensure this doesn't happen.

We lost 3 coats, 5 jumpers, 2 PE short, 2 pairs of plimpsols and more pieces of lunch time kit (lunchboxes, tupperware, spoons) last year than I care to think about because of a school being completely incapable of making sure that CLEARLY labelled stuff did not go missing from a young child with SEN.

It's a bloody disgrace and cost me a couple of hundred pounds last year on top of normal school kit costs...

[RedHelenB]

TA is to support him not do everything for him!! As has been pointed out, all children will come home minus items from school. Hopefully if they are named you will get them back.

[CwtchesAndCuddles]

OP YADNBU !!!! (but you should have labelled the swimming kit)

A lot of people on this board will be quick to tell you that yabu perhaps posting on the special needs board would bring you some helpful advice about how to deal with school / ta about this.

REDHELENB

Yes the TA is to support him in his needs, if one of those needs is not being able to be responsible for his things then he should be supported with it!

[NineteenForever]

Thanks everyone, he has supervised social time in the base, doesn't go out at all and certainly not independently. We assumed someone was with him at all times- they are now ensuring a make staff member will be there to help him keep swimming stuff together.

[NineteenForever]

Thanks Sleep- checklist is a fab idea.

[bumpybecky]

I'm looking at this from the point of view as someone who is 'in charge' of lost property at a middle school (years 5-8) and also a parent of a child who was very good at losing things while she was in that school (before I worked there). I do not have direct experience of working with special needs children, so am quite prepared to admit I'm BU though.

Everyone loses things occasionally at school - I've had two requests from teachers who've lost bits of their own clothing already this term! Yes I agree that with a support person there, things should not get lost, but accidents happen. If something does get lost you can't expect it to turn up faster as the child has SN and it shouldn't have been lost in the first place.

Even if your child has ta support at all times, including social times, that ta will need to have breaks for lunch and toilet etc, so there must be a different person(s) covering. When there's more than one person helping I can see that there is a possibility of things going astray due to someone not realising a piece of kit was associated with that child (and the child not being able to say one way or the other).

When things go missing teachers will not stop everything and have the whole class look for the missing item. Normally someone (teacher, ta or cleaner) picks up random items at the end of the day and deals with them then. In our school most lost property is taken by the cleaners to the cupboard and then gets dealt with by me the next school day. So even if something is named it might take a day or so to get to lost property, get checked and then returned to the child. Sometimes other children hide random kit they find (things turn up in silly places) so it might take longer to find. Sometimes things gets accidentally or deliberately taken by another child, so then might take longer to get returned (if at all). It is very unusual for an item lost one day to be returned that same day.

Does he have a locker? and if so has the TA actually looked in it themselves? we've had cases where multiple items of 'lost' property were actually inside the locker and the TA took the word of the child who said they'd checked....

Also did he go by coach to swimming? if so ask the school to call the coach company and I'd call the pool yourself - cover all bases :)

I agree with sleep - they are very likely to be trying to encourage some independence. Hopefully they've realised your ds needs more help in this area and this will improve. I think a checklist is a good idea too :)