OK...I am going to get flamed to hell...please be gentle...
DD1 is 5 and in reception, we also have a 2yo DD2.
I wanted to HE - I hated school with a passion for various reasons, not least because I couldn't cope socially in large groups. It didn't socialise me - it just made me miserable and more concious of my differences. I only learned to get on with other people my age in my late teens, out of school, and still can't really believe it when "normal" people are nice to me. There were also things with the education - going at the pace of 29 other kids just did not work out for me and I would get told off for reading ahead and asking off curriculum questions. It was noisy and had weird textures vnd I spent the entire time on a state of high alert because of people doing things that I couldn't predict. I am far happier now I run a business and study at home :-)
In the end, though, I got seriously mentally ill and so had to reluctantly agree to send DD1 to school (I have no problem with nursery, childcare and so on - it is the full time school environment that I worry about, plus it gets in the way of a child's education and life so much)
I at least tried to put my foot down on choice of school - I didn't want the catholic one, mostly because I do not want my child to hear about some of the more dodgy aspects as she gets older from the same people teaching her facts. I have no issue with the school existing, or with people holding those views (as long as they keep them to themselves) but I am really uncomfortable with the idea of her hearing that sex etc is wrong. I am always being told that I am a hippy, but I try to give the kids picture books with all types of families, play games where the princess rescues the prince, talk about body image etc. That story about the schools handing out homophobic petitions made me sick.
But DH is convinced that the catholic school gives a somehow better education, so off she went (tbf, it was the only one with a place, but I would have held out with her at home) - when the decision was made, I was very very ill.
I must say, it is a lovely, lovely school. DD1 hasn't made any friends, we suspect she may have some kind of mild aspergers as her general social skills are awful - she is just so awkward and prefers reading, playing outside and doing science experiments. She gets really het up at things like metaphors - they annoy her intensely - but she adores horrible histories and any impressions involving hitting her own head She tends to have a hat pulled down over her eyes whenever she can and pulls her little faces with licking her lips snd so on as she goes around. She is lovely, and it is a joy to talk to her and see how her little mind works :)
The teacher says she is keeping an eye out, and that some strategies have been put in place - eg starting games that DD can join in, with a set task to aim for as a group, and asking her to read to her friends and so on.
Now DD1 is trying to make us pray at home, and thank God for her toys and so on, and gets annoyed when I say that not everyone believes in god and it is something that nobody can prove so you just have to think about it and never know the answer.
She is also having nightmares. She thinks that everyone is her friend, but none of them play with her (the teacher says that DD spends most of every playtime at the edge of the yard by herself, and most of every lesson in a corner reading or outside on the climbing frame, again by herself) and can't work out why. She is getting more and more stressed, having tantrums, getting more and more bothered about strange little things.
I don't even know what I want for her :( I just know that I am not happy and I don't think she is. Stick where she is, so she gets consistency? Move to the non catholic (but you never know what praying goes on) and less good ofsteded school? HE? Try to get flexi school? HE from now till september to give her a chance to build up her self esteem again?
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AIBU?
to be wavering on school choice?
33 replies
BrittaPerry · 14/05/2012 23:34
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