DH thinks I am being over senstive and U but I don't think so

[catgirl1976]

Today I really feel like DH has been having a pop all day.

DS ( not yet 6 months) was at nursery and they rang me saying he had a rash and they have a suspected case of measles. I ring DH, get him to collect DS and make a GP appointment. Obviously I am worried sick but I can't leave work. This in itself is upsetting.

I speak to DH after the GP appointment and he tells me it might be measles might not be, they can't call it but that DS is fine in himself and has no temperature. DH says he will pick me up from work as usual although I offer to get a cab so that he doesn't need to drag DS out. He insists.

I say "OK but pick me up 15 mins later than usual as I have a meeting that might run over and I dont want DS hanging around in the car"

He says "Well I would have thought you'd want to get out on time and see him if you cared about him"

I was really, really upset. It's hard leaving him, it's hard not being able to be the one to get him when he's ill.

Anyway we get through the rest of the evening fine but DH seems to be having a low level snipe at me several times. I ask him outright if there is a problem and he says "no sorry just stressed about DS". OK - Fine - we both are

Then 10 mins ago DH is playing on his PC and I am with DS. DS starts howling. DH comes in and says "Why is he crying? He's been fine all day with me" in a snarky tone of voice.

AIBU to really feel like that's a dig? I told DH that's how it felt to me and I was upset and he told me I was being stupid.

Gah am and :(

[pictish]

Certainly seems as though he has beef he wants to chew over with you, doesn't it?
Sorry you have had such a crap day. x

[catgirl1976]

Thanks :)

I probably am being a bit more sensitive than usual as I have been up since 5am with DS who didn't sleep well and am obviously worried about him. I will leave it till we are both sat down with a glass of wine and then ask him what gives. :(

[imnotmymum]

Sometimes men do come over all judgy. They think they being smart it has been a worrying day for you and sorry but some men think Mums should be the one to do the caring [please I am not having a go and my DH lovely but he is odd like that as well] Just tell him how upset you were not to be there and this will blow over I guess. Sending hugs and hope DS OK.

[catgirl1976]

Thank you.

I'm sure he's just worried too, plus looking after a poorly baby is tiring. I just don't need the snarkiness from him when I can guilt myself out plenty all on my own.

[Geranium3]

sounds like a common scenario in a typical family where it is assumed that mum always has to be more caring,more hardworking, perform more household tasks even though both partners work, do far more of the childcare etc etc etc and if you don't want this assumption to continue for at least the next18years or so, you need to nip it in the bud and remind your DH that dc are a joint responsibility and he should quit trying to make you feel guilty. Good luck and hope little one is feeling better.

[HecateTrivia]

Sounds like a dig to me.

You're the mother. You're supposed to drop everything, every time.

Nobody expects the father to drop everything, or not allow a meeting to overrun by 15 minutes because their child is ill but with the other parent.

It's not fair at all.

[catgirl1976]

It bloody isn't Hecate :( It isn't fair at all