I feel like I am over reacting about my baby's hearing.

[Julezboo]

He was referred for a hearing test just before xmas as he had 3 ear infections within 6 months.

He turned one weekend just gone and he had his hearing test on Tues just gone.

He failed it. Completely deaf in his left ear and limited hearing in his right ear. They do not know the cause for definate yet.

She asked me did he pass his newborn hearing test. As far as I could remember he had. But he was born early, in a different hospital and then spent the first month or so in and out of hospital with unexplained weight loss. Since diagnosed with CMPI and has a few other allergies.

Paeditrician guesses its glue ear, but as hes only 1 he will have a hearing aid fitted until hes old enough to have grommet surgery.

I am gutted :( I am so sad for him. He was quite poorly through the night last night, vomting feeds and dinner back, temp up and down, cried most of the night on and off. Exhausted today so took him to GP who has diagnosed his 4th ear infection :(

I hadnt even noticed. He doesnt babble like other babies do. Clicks his mouth and tongue alot to show hes hungry, but hes been walking since 9 months and is fairly mobile and steady for his age.

Now I am wondering, how do I comfort him. When we call his name he doesnt respond until we get really loud. Then he looks and smiles :) He never laughs either and is a really whingy baby. Now I know why :( He's never settled early. Was talking to another mum in the playground today who said he must feel so lonely :(

Will he? Does he? I smother him in cuddles, I am a SAHM so we are together all day, we still co-sleep most nights (cot is still in our room)

Feel like the worst mother, but then it seems like its fixable so why am I so sad and upset ?

[Julezboo]

forgot to add he did fail newborn test and "just" passed the next one three weeks later.

[hellhasnofury]

Bless you, it must've been a shock to you. I hope his latest infection clears up swiftly.

Have you been offered some signing courses?

[Choufleur]

I feel for you and him. DS has glue ear (but not as bad as that) and gets frequent ear infections.

Drs will sort it out I'm sure. I'm sure he's not lonely - you comfort him by being there when he is upset.

It's not your fault.

[Julezboo]

Offered nothing yet, he has to go back in 4 weeks and if its still the same then we go from there.

[RillaBlythe]

I think the other mother said a silly thing. Of corse he doesn't feel lonely. Babies & small children are so physical - he loves you & he knows you love the very bones of him, he's far too young to need to hear you say it (& he will always know it even if he never hears it)

Btw, I had a friend when I was a child who had had glue ear. He didn't know the sea made a noise until he had grommets in. He ended up taking a music a level.

[jennifer86]

Hi. Sorry to hear about his hearing test, I know it must be a lot to take on board. Have you heard of "National Deaf Children's Society" - They are a charity who work with deaf (or hard of hearing) children and their parents.

Their website is www.ndcs.org.uk/

I'm sure they would be able to help answer your questions and would be a valuable source of support for you in the future. You would probably be able to get in touch with other parents who have gone throught the same thing as you have, as well.

Sorry I don't have any personal experience of this so can't answer your questions, but I hope this helps.

[mummymeister]

You are not the worst mother in the world because you are trying to make things right for him. get in touch with a local support group. we did this when my daughter was diagnosed with heart disease and they were fantastic. they will come up with loads of suggestions about how to communicate. concentrate on the things you and he can do not what you can do. you can also always ask for a second opinion. Please don't sit there feeling all alone there will definately be other mums in the same boat as you in your area. have a word with your health visitor and keep pressing your doctor to give you and your son the support you need. my heart goes out to you - i remember the first dark months with my daughter like it was yesterday.

[girliefriend]

Hello my dd was very similiar but it didn't get picked up until she was 2yo by which point her speech and behaviour had been really affected. So I would see it as a big plus that he has had it diagnosed early and that he will be treated.

Are there any sing and sign groups near by? Some sign language would really help.

If he goes on to need grommits my dd has had 2 lots and the op is quick, relatively painless and has dramatic results. My dd heard birds singing for the first time and completely freaked out when the washing machine went onto spin!!!

Don't feel bad there are much worse things he could have than glue ear, it is treatable.

[Faverolles]

If the problem is suspected to be glue ear, you could try some sessions of cranial osteopathy.
Ds2 was partially deaf as a baby due to glue ear, and couldn't hear at all above a certain pitch. After 3 sessions of co, could hear perfectly.
Please don't worry that you can't comfort him, comfort comes in far more forms than speaking.
I think the other mum who said he must be lonely was speaking tactlessly and out of her arse. Of course he's not lonely - you said yourself he's with you all day, and you smother him with cuddles - you sound like a fantastic mother :)
As for being whingy, that's not necessarily to do with his hearing, he could just be whingy due to the infections.

[elliejjtiny]

That must have been a shock. There is a little girl at preschool with my ds2 who has similar problems with her ears. She gets quite frustrated at times but generally she is happy and definately not lonely. I would definately try and learn some signing though. It will help him communicate and will be a positive thing for you too.

[Julezboo]

Im not sure about sing and sign groups, they all tend to be welsh in the valley I live in but will look for others in local areas around me.

[marriedinwhite]

One way or another it will be fine, especially as your son has some hearing based on what you say. I haven't had experience of actual deafness but both our children has ear infection after ear infection and quite serious glue ear. DS had grommets at 16 months and it was a turning point in his overall health. DD had grommets at 20 months and it was a turning point in her overall happiness. I shall never forget the day after the grommets when she sat in her car seat transfixed and happy and pointing at the trees because for the first time she could hear the birds.

I don't know what your son's overall problems are. I do know that grommets can be helpful even when hcps and gps say they aren't necessary. I do know that a friend's child's life was transformed by a cochlear implant. I do know that you need to push and insist on a second opinion. I do know that you need to point to research into glue ear and state that the research as a whole is based on the whole population that consists also of families who don't care and who don't encourage and support the development of their children. I do know that you need to state that by the time your child is seven with your support you expect him to achieve above average SATS and you will not allow him to be held back because of a wait and see attitude based on the average/median, etc.

Good luck OP - all will end up well or as well as it can possibly be. You care enough to post here and therefore you will ensure your lad gets all the help he needs. Don't be fobbed off; ask questions, if you can't think of any say you need to consider it and would like a review appointment.

[mumatron]

I might be way off here but surely he won't be lonely as he has probably been like this since birth? He won't know any different? And anyway, you are a fab mother. Anyone with half a brain can see that!

Poor boy has had so much to deal with already. Hopefully this will be sorted by the drs asap.

[member]

Bit different, my daughter was older & at nursery when she was diagnosed with glue ear but I felt extreme guilt that I'd put her poor interaction down to shyness.

At this stage, your ds is mainly with you & family where you can provide good one on one attention & centre your interaction around facial expression/touch. Doing that (as it sounds you are), I doubt your ds is likely to feel any more lonely than any other 9 month old!

Perhaps your friend meant "isolated" rather than lonely, which was the case with my dd when talking/games/playing with other children started at toddler groups/nursery.

Given that you & the health professionals are on the case at this relatively early stage, I really don't think your ds is going to be emotionally scarred/disadvantaged in any way. That probably won't stop you feeling pangs of guilt or fretting because that's what most mothers' default setting is!

Good luck!

[jenfraggle]

My hearing loss wasn't picked up until I was in my early 20s so it's good that it has been picked up now. When I was finally told, a number of things from my childhood made sense. I am almost completely deaf in my left ear and my right isn't great. I was given hearing aids but they do nothing. I have lost my high pitched hearing so cannot hear smoke alarms etc.

[pinkappleby]

Aww, I'm sure he's not lonely, he still knows that you are there.

If it helps, I had nasty glue ear as a child and yes, it wasn't great but after various treatments/hearing aids have only mild hearing loss now (or have adjusted with lip reading etc without even realising, I'm not really sure!). Hopefully it will be the same for your lo. Mum said when I first had grommits I ran and hid in the understairs cupboard and wouldn't come out because the house was so noisy.

[InvaderZim]

I found the sing and sign DVD at the library, so I'm sure it's available to buy. Also look for Makaton resources and other signing for babies courses, and the cbeebies programme "Something Special" which has lots of signs (some not useful for very small children but oh well!) on its website.

We are using baby sign at home but have just cobbled it together from various sources. If you look online be aware that most of the websites are oriented towards American Sign Language. Some signs are similar but most are wildly different!

I'm sure your baby will be fine, nevermind what the silly lady at the park said!!!

[CrabbyBigbottom]

Please don't panic OP. As the paed said; it is probably glue ear causing a temporary hearing loss which can be resolved or greatly improved with grommets.

I used to be a newborn hearing screener, so there are a couple of things I wanted to add. Firstly, he didn't "just" pass the screen - he either passed or he didn't. It's really tempting as a screener to think "ooh the baby 'just' passed that" because some get a clear response to the test in a few seconds, and with others, it takes ages and you really think the screen is going to give a negative result (no clear response) because it's timed out. But that doesn't mean the baby 'only just passed' - it simply means that there was interference, either with background noise or fluid in the ears etc. If the screen recorded a clear response (when gentle clicks are played into the ear, the functioning cochlear produces a reflex response, sort of like an echo - it's this sound that the machine picks up), it means that the cochlear is functioning. There could still be neural hearing loss, but that is very rare.

If the first test (the AOAE, or automated otoacoustic emissions test) produced no clear response, or in certain circumstance (of which being very prem may be one - I'm sorry I can't remember off the top of my head) then the screener may have gone on to do an AABR (automated auditory brainstem response) test. Any degree of neural hearing loss would result in the baby not passing that test, and you'd have been referred for further investigation.

The results of the hearing screens should be recorded in your red book.

My point is, that if your DS passed his initial screens then he is very unlikely to have permanent hearing loss now. It's possible, but very unlikely, so please don't work yourself into a panicky guilty state.

I'd love to have a quick word with the woman who said he must feel so lonely, btw - what an absolute load of fucking cobblers If he has hearing loss, then that will be his normality at the moment, and since he has nothing to contrast it to, and is still getting visual stimulation and lots of love and affection from you, then it would not be impacting his wellbeing.

[Julezboo]

Thank you crabby :)

He was born at 35 weeks, but weighed 7lb 3 so no NICU or special care needed. He has had numerous health problems, weight issues (lack of) allergies, excema and silent reflux. I feel so sad that he has to go through all this.

This woman is known for crass sayings tbh, she said her babyloss was worse than my 7mc's because she was further on

She has caught me on a teary, drained and exhausted day due to no sleep last night and I have let it get to me. Silly wench!

[CrabbyBigbottom]

You're welcome. If you can find the record of the screens in your red book then it'll give you more of an idea about what has already been tested.

Just keep chanting this mantra
it is MUCH more likely to be glue ear than permanent hearing loss

[grumpydwarf]

hi, just wanted to tell you that Im fully deaf in one ear and partially deaf in the other since being a baby. I have wonderful loving parents and have never felt lonely in my life!

the other woman is obviously a fool. ignore her. all your ds needs is cuddles and being so young will never know any different so it will wont even occur to him that he is missing out.

I can tell from everything you have written that you adore your baby and are doing the best for him in everything you can. thats all he wants!

one cuddle will show him you love him more than 10,000 words can.

[Julezboo]

Thanks all. You have all been so lovely :)

I will be fine tomorrow. Im hiding in bed (with baby) because im usually so strong n will face anything (Ds1 has SN and DS2 has ADHD)

Also midway (hopefully) through my PND treatment atm and fear its knocked me back a bit

[hatchypom]

I just wanted to say that you have no need to be worried but you do need to understand what the problem is. If you baby was prem, chances are they performed both an ABR and an OAE. These cover the workings of the middle ear and the nerves, a failed test at either or both can show deafness. If it's just middle ear (oae and a tymp test) which basically bounce the sound back the most likely cause is glue ear. This can be helped by lots of different treatments ( grommets, medicine etc), hearing aids can also help to amplify the sound so it can get through the thicker gunk in the middle ear. If there is a more permanent issue, hearing aids will most likely give your baby enough sound to hear your voice so don't stop talking. Have you seen an audiogram as it may just be certain frequencies of sound that are a problem. Dont feel you immediately have to start learning sign, try and work out what can be heard and go from there. I say this as mum to a profoundly deaf dd who is now at mainstream school with age appropriate speech and we didn't get diagnosed until 18 months.

[DeWe]

Ds has glue ear, and tbh 3 ear infections within 6 months sounds not very many compared to him. Until he had the first set of grommets he would have had about 3 ear infections within 5-6 weeks. Last winter he had 8 burst ear drums withing about 3 months.

But the grommets do seem to work for him. I recently took him back to ENT because I thought one grommet wasn't working properly and hey presto the grommet has come out again. It's that much difference. For example last autumn he was fascinated with the leaves rustling when you trod on them because "they didn't rustle last year"-that's the difference in hearing the grommet makes.

Ds's hearing has been permanently effected by the infections, but is still (with grommets) in the normal range.