.... to think about ...

[caketop]

another man ALL THE TIME while my dh is snoring like a runaway train upstairs? i would never act on this but.. the thinking is driving me CRAZY

[Minshu]

A real man, rather than a celebrity? No harm in having the thoughts, but could it be a danger signal? Is there anything lacking in your relationship that could be addressed? Or just a harmless fantasy that will pass in a few days or weeks?

I had a long period like that (years) - thinking of another man. Eventually figured my marriage wasn't going anywhere, and eventually the man I used to lay awake thinking about is now the one keeping me awake with his infernal snoring.

Although I'm happy where I am now, it's not an easy or recommended route.

[spiderslegs]

Put the crazy thoughts away - the other man no doubt snores like a runaway train too - with a side-order of horn-like farts.

The OM is just a human too, no matter how much lusty gloss you're now projecting, they all fart & snore you know.

So stop it.

Unless there's anything else you're not telling us.

[Sillyoldelf]

No yanbu ! I had this conversation with my friend two weeks ago . We are both happily married .. But we do think about and dream about other men !

[spiderslegs]

X posted with Minshu

[spiderslegs]

When you say 'dream' Sillyold do you mean fantasise or dream whilst asleep?

Dream is ok - fantasise 'dream' not so I would say.

[caketop]

oh, lots of inherent marriage problems - papers from the solicitor to start divorce proceedings have been sitting in the kitchen since october. i love dh because of the wonderful children he has given me but that connection that we had has gone, and i can't find the interest to get it back. of course, OM is human and all the rest, but we are more similar in outlook. very very irresponsible of me, should be fair to dh as i haven't signed the papers - yet..

[cozietoesie]

Dear goodness. You have divorce papers in the kitchen?? Have you talked about this to DH?

[Sillyoldelf]

Oo gosh no, I don't fantasise . I mean dream in my sleep about various handsome celebs reading this post through it seems OP maybe fantasising which I agree is not good .

[caketop]

yes, he knows. and i agree, the fantasising is not good

[spiderslegs]

How are old are you OP?

& how long have you been together?

[caketop]

i am 39 next week and we have been together nearly 13 years. spoke to other man today and needlessly flirted badly. i feel terrible today

[Minshu]

Sorry for posting then disappearing.

Have you tried Relate? I did and felt more sure I wanted to end my marriage afterwards. However, if there is a part of you that wants to keep things together then minimise contact with OM (assuming it's not possible to cut contact entirely - work, by any chance?), and do what you can to save your marriage.

My XH had no children, so different situation entirely.

Don't feel terrible - you are only human and in need of a change. Or something.