to be annoyed at family re: Christmas gifts?

[winnybella]

Ok. Not a huge deal. Just a little annoyance. Two issues.

1. DS made 2 Christmas lists: one for me and my family and one for ex and his family (it was his idea, btw). He told me today that apparently ex's mother told him that they bought him everything on the list. I haven't got a problem with that per se, but I think it's a bit wrong to tell the kid that he'll get everything he requested 3 weeks before actual Christmas. It's supposed to be a wish list, not a shopping list, as one poster said on another thread plus it taks away a lot magic from the anticipation etc. AIBU?
   

1. My father, with whom I have a strained relationship, bought DD a doll for Mikolajki (which in Poland is celebrated on the 6th and it's like a mini-Christmas). I told him, quite a few times, that I already bought DD her first Corolle doll for Christmas and so he got her something else. Now he calls me today and wants to come with the doll (baby doll as well) on Saturday to give it to her. I feel I may be BU here, it's just that I really wanted to give DD her first doll and am annoyed that he totally disregarded what I told him.
   

So, AIBU? I realise none of this is a very serious matter, btw.

[MorelliOrRanger]

YANBU.

Tell your father he can't come round. If that doesn't work, give her your doll tonight and says it's a late Mikolajki prezzie.

[thepeoplesprincess]

Honestly?! You're fucked off because your children's grandparents want to give them presents they'll like?! There are not acronyms enough to describe how unreasonable you're being.

[aldiwhore]

Lists are banned here. My kids do letters stating the reasons why they feel they deserve gifts, and why they think they may have messed up. (My yungest doesn't he's 4 lol) The gift request is simple. "If you feel I have done my best I would really appreciate a present"

Although I hate lists, I need ideas too so have a notebook that I write in any repeated 'I want' into so I can target gifts well.

We burn the letters on the fire on Christmas Eve, because smoke travels faster to the North Pole than Royal Mail and my children know that just because they've asked for something, Santa can't always oblige. Birthdays are more targeted in gift but in less quantity.

As for your Dad. give your DD the doll first, its past the 6th already. Allow your dad to gift another doll on Saturday. It won't make any difference to her in the long run but I understand your wish to keep the tradition of parent to child, Grandparents can be buggers for appropriating your parental 'fun' but don't fret over it. Although it means a lot in some ways. Its just a doll.

[winnybella]

Erm...no, I am not fucked off . Slightly annoyed. Not at GPs buying my children gifts-I'm very happy that DS will have lovely gifts and am equally happy that my father seems to be taking some sort of interest in DCs.

[winnybella]

No, sorry, I wasn't clear. The doll I bought for DD is for Christmas. My father wanted to celebrate the mini Xmas that's celebrated in Poland on the 6th (and there's Xmas on the 24/25th as well), therefore his wants to give it to DD before she'll get mine on the 25th (I don't live in Poland and have long ceased to celebrate the 6th Dec).

So I proposed to my dad that he gives the doll to DD for Xmas or for her Bday which is shortly afterwards. He won't have it.

[thepeoplesprincess]

So you're not fucked-off, and your not-fuckedoffedness has nothing to do with grandparents (not) buying presents for your kids.

Excellent. Splendid. Jolly good.

(I'm just off for a refund on my English GCSEs cos I clearly didn't understand a word of what you've written)

[Crosshair]

[Feminine]

It is lovely that your DD gets 2 baby dolls...

Try to think about it, without your relationship with your Dad coming in to it.

You are right , it is not that serious. :)

[chrimblycompo]

Yabu

Let your father buy your little girl what he wants

[Hassledge]

I think you're over-thinking a bit here. Your DD won't remember where her first doll came from. Ultimately your DCs are getting things they want from people who care about them, and that's got to be a good thing.

[winnybella]

I said I might be BU, Feminine I just want to give DD her first doll and now my father will be doing it, even though I told him not to, many times, before he went and bought it.

Perhaps our relationship is colouring my view

Oh, nevermind.

thepeopleprincess-wtf?

[BerthaTheBogBurglar]

I think the problem lies in the fact that you'd discussed this with your dad, explained that you wanted to give your dd her first doll, and he's gone ahead and bought her one anyway. It's not about the doll at all, but about the fact that he doesn't think your feelings are important, as long as he gets what he wants. He is being very self-centred. This is nothing to do with grandparents giving their grandchildren nice presents or your daughter having two dolls.

And your ex's family appear to be trying to compete with you on presents - we love you more, look how much we bought you, ner ner ner ... Kids can be very intelligent about that though - my children have one set of gps who play with them and one set who buy them loads of stuff; given the choice they'd always choose to visit the former.

[BerthaTheBogBurglar]

You don't have to let your father do this, btw. Say No.

[Feminine]

If it helps...just think of your DD and her doll collection :)

Reading back, it now seems that your Dad ignoring you is the root of this perhaps?

Its not nice to be ignored, I understand.

Unless you really want 'go there' with your Dad right now , I'd let it go...