to want to spend half of Xmas day with ds

[onehackedoffmuma]

In a nutshell, I start a new job on 5th Dec and subsequently, can't take anytime off until the week between Xmas and New Year. DS finishes school on 7th Dec and his dad/dad's family have said they want to have him 7th - 16th Dec inclusive. I then have him the weekend 17th-18th Dec and he then goes back to them 19th - 25th Dec.

Ds's dad has said that I can then collect ds in the afternoon/eve on Xmas Day. Last year, ds went to his dad's on Xmas Eve and I picked him up around middayish on Xmas Day.

Ds and I have moved down south and ds's father lives in London. I don't have an issue about logistics/driving to get him but my question is, am I being unreasonable to feel sad that I won't get to see him for v long on Xmas Day?

In ds' father's world - afternoon/eve essentially means 7-8pm. I'll then drive him back to Brighton which means we won't get home til late and Xmas Day is a bit redundant for ds and I?

I proposed doing the same as we did last year but ds' father just keeps shouting at me, saying he never gets to see him as we live 70 miles away now. I feel like every time I try and have a civil conversation, ds' father just shouts and screams at me. I am really grateful that his family are willing to help, I just feel a bit sad about the prospect of not seeing him for a lot of Dec and the run up to Xmas and Xmas Day.

I'm not sure how I feel about asking ds what he wants to do - he is 6 and is quite impressionable. Also, I don't want him to feel like he would upset one parent over the other.

onesadhackedoffmuma x

[theincredibequeenofwands]

Can you not celebrate it on Boxing Day instead and give him his presents from you then?

He'll have two Christmasses then, and not feel like he's upsetting you.

[squeakytoy]

London to Brighton is not a very long drive. To be fair, it sounds like your ex is doing his fair share there to enable you to go to work for most of December.

You can always do Xmas Day on Boxing Day... most 6 year olds will be more than thrilled to have two christmas days!

[GrownUpSparkler]

We alternate years, it's the only way I could ever manage to get a nice family Christmas without the arguments and feeling time pressured on the day itself.

[onehackedoffmuma]

Thanks.. I think I was just really upset when I spoke to xp. I've calmed myself down a little bit and had a chat with my mum. I will try and go with the idea of having 2 x Xmas Days and ds having it with me on Boxing Day. squeakytoy - I hear what you are saying - ds will probably like the sound of having two xmas days rather than one!

Thank you once again x