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AIBU?

...to stop driving for now, even though I live in the middle of nowhere?

34 replies

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 23/10/2011 09:18

28 weeks pg, keep having dizzy spells when sitting down. MW checked me over - iron levels, blood pressure, everything = normal, so no idea what's causing it.

DH and I have agreed that I really shouldn't be driving anywhere until I've had at least a week free of dizzy spells even though there is nothing within walking distance of us, not even a postbox.

This is my first AIBU, so be gentle with me, but basically I would be unreasonable to keep driving, wouldn't I? I need people to tell me that shutting myself up in my house on my own for the next 12 weeks is the right thing to do, because I'm getting cabin fever just contemplating it and taxis into town will be out of the question more than once a fortnight, really (finances being what they are).

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NotQuiteCockney · 23/10/2011 09:20

Stopping driving sounds sensible! Can your DH drive you places? Do you have friends or family who would drive you places?

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AuntiePickleBottom · 23/10/2011 09:20

ywbu to drive, you are not safe on the road and if you had an accident because of a dizzy spell there is your unborn child to think of.

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toddlerama · 23/10/2011 09:21

I had to stop driving around the same time with my first 2 pregnancies. Meant early maternity leave and total isolation. It sucked but the alternative potentially is kill someone, so tough Sad

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JarethTheGoblinKing · 23/10/2011 09:22

If you don't feel you should be driving then of course you shouldn't drive.

Hopefully it'll be a short lived thing and you'll be feeling better soon. Tbh though I got dizzy spells all through second trimester and it was always food related. Good excuse to carry flapjack around with me :)

Has the doc checked your BP with you standing?

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slartybartfast · 23/10/2011 09:22

could somethign be pressing on something when you are sitting down to cause dizzy spells?
should it be investigated further.
you dont want to be stuck at home with 12 weeks or tehreabouts to go

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MrsMellowDrummer · 23/10/2011 09:24

I had that when pregnant. Midwife told me she thought the baby was moving around and putting pressure on my vagal nerve every now and then. Makes you faint, and it's not that uncommon I think.

There's not much you can do about it unfortunately, but yes I stopped driving as soon as I realised what was going on.

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CAZ46 · 23/10/2011 09:26

Difficult one but I had a form of vertigo when I was pregnant and kept falling over! I looked like a weeble! My iron was slightly low but I did continue to drive. Has your GP said not to drive? If not basically be very careful. Very short journeys in the day time, would not suggest night driving. You don't want to feel trapped in your own home but at least get out and walk every day. Perhaps drive now and then and do all your bits that you need to get in one go. I had the dizziness getting in/out of my car but not whilst driving. If you feel dizzy whilst driving then you shouldn't drive. Get medical advice if you are not sure whether you should drive or not.

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TastyMuffins · 23/10/2011 09:28

What did your MW say about driving? I'd ask MW, some things might make you feel dizzy but not be a risk, also check with GP for inner ear infection.

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JarethTheGoblinKing · 23/10/2011 09:31

Agree with others who say see your GP

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MakesCakesWhenStressed · 23/10/2011 09:37

I get dizzy standing and reclining too, it was just that dizziness whilst sitting seemed more relevant to the driving issue...

And I'm lucky, DH is home from work by 5pm so he could take me out and about then - but what would I do? All my friends have their husbands and families home then (and none of the ones I could ask favours of have a car because they all live in town) and my family are more than an hour away.

It's not eating, either. I thought it was but have sinced proven that wrong and AuntiePickleBottom - I haven't driven since these dizzy spells started happening when sitting down, except for Thursday when I had to get myself home from my physio and MW appt, because what else could I do? Sit in town for five hours until DH finished work? Had my first dizzy spell at the physio appt.

So that's a unanimous call for visit the GP, huh? Will call them tomorrow then.

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Northernlurker · 23/10/2011 09:49

I think you're probably having episodes of low BP. I had this too and it sucks but there's very little you can do. I think it is sensible not to drive. Can you get hold of a BP monitor then you can take your own BP when you feel wibbly - and then you'll see for sure what's happening.

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crushonyou · 23/10/2011 10:11

If you are feeling dizziness, yabu to drive. You have to tell the DVLA about it as well - it is an offence not to do so and could affect your insurance.

There must be quite a lot you can do to reduce the impact on your lifestyle though - use skype/msn to stay in touch, get groceries and clothes delivered? Is there no public transport at all nearby?

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MakesCakesWhenStressed · 23/10/2011 10:16

I'm sorry. But I am not telling the DVLA about my 'condition' until a qualified medical expert has told me I have a 'condition' to inform them about.

Due to the PGP we were already looking at having to use a grocery delivery service but no, there is no public transport nearby - the nearest goes from in town. I can stay in touch with people quite easily, but I think you'll agree that's not quite the same as being able to have coffee with friends, browse books in the library or whatever. My lifestyle was hermit enough as it was running a business from home, now I'm completely isolated 6 days a week. The internet just does not act as a substitute for people.

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fizzwhirl · 23/10/2011 11:12

So sorry you're going through this, and need to have a self-imposed isolation. I work from home as well, and I find the isolation hard. I can imagine that feeling stuck with no way out will make it much, much harder.

When I'm going through something I find hard to bear, I find that planning a way out really helps: it can be something I'm unlikely to do, but it's important that I actually believe that I can if I need to.

How about if you put together a 'taxi-fund' with enough money for 5 or 6 trips - in a separate jar, somewhere within reach - which you know you can use if you need to. And tell yourself that if you need to top it up, then you will. You'll probably find that you don't need to use all of it (and then you'll have that extra money available for a treat when the baby arrives!) - but giving yourself permission up-front will help stop the anxiety.

From your name, I'm guessing you like baking. Tea and cakes would be a good bribe to get your friends to come and visit you! Even the ones who don't have a car could get a taxi (a few could come together, and share one if money's tight - if you're providing tea and cakes I think that's reasonable). Don't feel that you can't tell them that you could really use the company.

Since your DH gets home so early, make sure you do get out of the house together. Personally, I find that the worst thing about isolation is being within the same 4 walls all the time - you start to feel that you're not part of the real world! So, getting out is worth-while even if you're not going to be seeing friends: just drive into town, and go for a cup of coffee with your husband, or go to the library together, or whatever you would normally do by yourself now.

And similarly, make sure you get out of the house every day the weather is ok: go for a lunchtime walk, even if you've got no-where to go! It makes a huge difference.

Hopefully you'll find that even if you have to stop driving, it won't be as bad as you fear.

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SaffronCake · 23/10/2011 12:14

YANBU Never ever drive if you don't feel up to it. If you do the Advanced driving test then you're taught before you get in the car every time you should check 6 things (eg. if the tyres are sound), the last of which is "You". "You" are not Ok- you're giddy. Therefore no driving.

I'm getting cabin fever too, after a disabling pregnancy and a dramatic birth I'm not likely to be walking properly any time soon (up to 3 years) and I can't drive yet for the pain either. I actually live in town but even half a mile from the high street I can't go out because I can't use a buggy and crutches at the same time.

Perhaps I should offer you my MSN messenger details, we can keep each other company till we end up dragged off to the asylum or we recover, whichever happens first.

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coccyx · 23/10/2011 12:17

Can't your friends pick you up for a coffee??

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brabbinsandfyffe · 23/10/2011 12:25

Sorry you're in this situation, it really sounds tough. But I think you're right not to drive. Have seen three accidents in the last six weeks - not down to my driving (honest!), or to illness, but scary and really underlined how important it is to be safe.

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Solo · 23/10/2011 12:27

No, don't tell DVLA anything! When I was getting my first full car licence, I told them about the virtigo I'd had nearly 3 years before and they sent me a 3 year licence!! it affected everything and for no good reason at all.

Hopefully, your dizziness is temporary and you'll be able to drive again soon. No body that could affect your life adversely needs to know anything unless it is permanent IMO/E, so long as you are sensible and don't attempt to drive. If you did and had an accident, then it could come out that you were not fit to drive and lots of things could then go belly up.

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MakesCakesWhenStressed · 23/10/2011 12:51

Thanks for the support all.

cocyx - Unfortunately I've lived here less than a year, so am still in the delicate early stages of friendship building - though my closest local friend (who has no car) has just offered to strap her baby to her back and hike up the hill to visit me, bless her - made me giggle anyway.

I think the taxi fund is a great idea and will suggest to DH. Can put my petrol money into it since I won't be driving :)

fizz - you've given me some real food for thought there for coping strategies - will talk to DH about them when he gets home. It doesn;t make it any better that his only real hobby involves him volunteering with young people one weekend day a week so I lose him all day Sunday as well as during the working week

I wonder whether the GPs would prefer to do a home visit for a pregnant dizzy lady, or to allocate me one of the rarer-than-rocking-horse-poo post-5pm appointments...? :)

saffron - your situation sounds even worse than mine! Do PM me msn details if you want to whinge chat together sometime :)

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HerScaryness · 23/10/2011 12:53

Oh I was HORRIFIC as a driver to the latter stages of PG, impatient, just wanted to get home, so didn't bother with things like other people's right of way etc Blush

Don't drive, you don't sound as if you should be TBH. Stay safe. Thinking of you.

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worraliberty · 23/10/2011 12:55

How about riding a bike?

You don't have to go far but it'll get you out in the fresh air and give you some exercise.

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MakesCakesWhenStressed · 23/10/2011 13:01
  • worraliberty - I know you weren't trying to be funny, but really? 28 weeks pregnant with dizzy spells and you think I should get on a bike?


    Plus I have PGP (have to keep my knees together apparently - if only I'd done that 28 weeks ago...) and the quickest way into town is via a pretty dangerous bit of main road that even DH (an experienced and fit cyclist) avoids like the plague - he cycles 5 miles out of his way to work in order to avoid that road! Even if I was not pregnant I'm not sure I'd want to cycle that route... plus it's uphill all the way back!
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worraliberty · 23/10/2011 13:02

Ahh right

I wasn't talking about going into town...just riding around very near home for some exercise and fresh air Smile

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MakesCakesWhenStressed · 23/10/2011 13:05

Oh well - it's off limits anyway :-)

I live near some very pretty countryside so I could do some walking round there like I used to, but the dizzy spells make me nervous of going too far from the house because it's so deserted that noone would see me or even miss me till DH got home! I just sound like I'm making excuses now, don't I? I'm really not. I like the countryside, I've just suddenly realised I don't want to live in the middle of it any more! Oh well, we're saving for that deposit - only 3 more years and we can get something in town.

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worraliberty · 23/10/2011 13:10

I know how you feel

I used to suffer from an inner ear infection that made me dizzy and I fainted a few times in public (so embarrassing!)

After that...even when it cleared up, I was so nervous of it happening again, that the nervousness would make me dizzy.

So it's a never ending circle really Sad

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