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to be annoyed at finding out about a family wedding on facebook?

(10 Posts)
MrsNorthman Mon 17-Oct-11 09:59:50

DH's half sister is getting married next June! I've just read a comment on MIL's Facebook where someone has asked when the wedding is which has got me all stirred up again. I've known about the wedding for sometime (via another facebook comment on MIL's facebook) and our neice, DH's brother's daughter has been asked to be a bridesmaid, but we haven't been told. It might have been nice if DH's dad had given him a quick ring to tell us and put it in our diaries. I want to add a comment letting her know we don't know anything about it but that would just be far too petty and I couldn't think of what to put anyway. DH rarely sees his Dad as he lives abroad and is quite upset as his dad's lack of communication as a father. He would never say anything to him about it though. I just feel a bit sorry for him (DH that is, his DSis gets the world and believe me DH and his DB get absolutely nothing!). Rant over!

usualsuspect Mon 17-Oct-11 10:04:10

Surely it is up to your dps sister to let him know?

are they close?

MrsNorthman Mon 17-Oct-11 10:09:30

No, they live in a separate country and have done for many years. Sometimes they visit the UK and don't even let us know they are here. Its an odd one they are not close, not through any arguments, but sort of drifted apart. DH's Brother visits them every couple of years but DH doesn't fly so we could never go there. I still think it would be nice to have been told. Esp as neice has been asked to be bridesmaid.

squeakytoy Mon 17-Oct-11 10:40:56

Is there a reason why your husband doesnt fly?

Not sure how he would be able to go to the wedding if that is the case anyway.

CristinaaarghdellAaarghPizza Mon 17-Oct-11 10:44:53

Well it's a bit tricky isn't it? For her to contact you and say 'I'm getting married but you're not invited'

Did you want to be invited so that you could say thanks but we can't come?

I'm a bit confused

redskyatnight Mon 17-Oct-11 10:50:07

As you won't be able to go to the wedding anyway, I'm not sure why you need to put the date in your diary?

Next June is a long way away, I'm sure you will be "officially" told before then. If DH and his sister are not close, there's no particular reason why she should choose to tell him sooner.

clam Mon 17-Oct-11 11:03:42

Are you sure you're going to be invited at all? even if you can't go? I don't get why the fact that your niece is to be a bridesmaid means that you should have been officially told of the date.

TandB Mon 17-Oct-11 11:06:49

I can see that it might be a bit galling to find out about this on Facebook. But it does unfortunately sound as though you may not be invited, particularly if they are not close and if they know your DH doesn't fly.

I wouldn't make a fuss about it - if they want you there they will inform you in due course. If they don't, well you aren't close so it shouldn't be particularly upsetting.

fedupandtired Mon 17-Oct-11 11:36:37

I can go one better than that. I only found out my aunt had died in a skiing accident because I heard it on the local radio!!! I assumed my dad didn't know (he's estranged from my uncle whose ex-wife it was that died) but he did know, it just never occurred to him to bother telling me and my sister!

lesley33 Mon 17-Oct-11 12:52:54

I think half siblings can be a trickly relationship. Some half siblings, particularly if they were brought up together, can be very very close. Others can barely know one another. I have some half siblings and I don't even know where they live now. We saw each other rarely as children and so really are like strangers or very very distant family relations.

I wasn't invited to the wedding of one half sibling and we are so unclose it didn't even occur to me at the time to be surprised or even consider it.

Because DH has made the effort to visit them every few years, then I can understand why they may have been invited and not you. This is not to blame you - I know it sounds as if the half sibling doesn't make any real attempt to keep in contact with you.

It may also be that as a half sibling she doesn't think your DH's family will automatically consider her close family. So DH's brother has made some effort to show that he does think this, but maybe your DH hasn't. She may feel doing more than she did would somehow be "imposing" on the real family.

Many siblings aren't close, but see each other because of parents and family events. I think with half siblings it can be tricky. But I wouldn't take it personally.

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