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To think this was an odd/unusual thing to do?

(36 Posts)
NinkyNonker Sat 24-Sep-11 16:16:33

DH, dd (13 months) and I went for lunch at a pub in the forest today, glorious hot sunny day so we sat outside. A couple arrived at the same time as us and were in front of us ordering drinks in the bar. We all ended up sitting outside, they were in the middle of the beer garden and we were on the patio nearer the pub/entrance.

After about 45 mins/1 hr I heard a baby crying, couldn't see one but assumed he/she was in the pub or something. After about 20 mins of crying the man from the couple got up and went over to the car (parked in direct sunlight and quite a way away) and peered through the open window before fishing a screaming baby out, circa 18 months. The little girl was inconsable for nearly 20 mins as he walked her round the car park.

Now then, I know I will probably get screamed down for this but DH and I were genuinely puzzled that they thought this was a good idea. Are we just being uptight PFB-ers? I mean, we have sat in many a car park with a sleeping dd so know what a faff it can be but we'd never get out and leave her a fair distance away. Either they didn't hear her crying (in which case they were too far away imo) or they did and just decided to sit for a while. It was so hot in our car when we got back in, and even with a window open there was no breeze so no air flow, if you see what I mean? I wouldn't leave our dogs in the car today, hence leaving them at home and collecting them after for a walk.

So tell me, are we just uptight and this is pretty standard or is this an unusual thing to do?

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 24-Sep-11 16:18:23

Also PFB here but I agree, I wouldn't leave a dog in a car in the sun, certainly not my DD.

Fatshionista Sat 24-Sep-11 16:19:26

This is unusual and neglect in my book. YANBU.

Olifin Sat 24-Sep-11 16:19:36

Was it really 20 minutes of crying? If so, then I personally think they left her for too long. I do leave my children to sleep in the car if I am sitting within sight and earshot of the car. If it's very hot, I'd try and park in the shade and leave the windows open a bit. Sounds as though she got too hot.

NinkyNonker Sat 24-Sep-11 16:21:16

It must have been close to 20 mins, we were eating our starters when I first heard it and had finished, plates being cleared when he got up. (Yes, I set my watch by food!)

Cheeseandharps Sat 24-Sep-11 16:21:16

No, you're not uptight. I had a go at someone once for leaving a child in the car with the windows closed on a hot day.

KatieMiddleton Sat 24-Sep-11 16:23:46

It was a stupid thing to do. YANBU.

MiseryBusiness Sat 24-Sep-11 17:11:06

The longest I would ever leave DD's in the car would be to fill the car up at a petrol station and even then I use the pay at the pumps ones.


TheMonster Sat 24-Sep-11 17:14:07

That's atrocious.

Shutupanddrive Sat 24-Sep-11 17:39:23

YANBU shock that's awful

NinkyNonker Sat 24-Sep-11 18:46:00

I'm glad it wasn't just us, I have read so many threads on here that have opened my eyes to other perspectives that now I question my initial opinions a little more, which is a good thing I guess. We're quite laid back as parents I think, but we were a little shocked. I value dd's sleep hugely (she doesn't do much of it!) so I too would be loathe to wake her...I think if the car had been in the shade, or it was a miserable day and they were closer I wouldn't have been so bewildered.

The little girl was distraught.

Zimm Sat 24-Sep-11 19:32:01

Horrible behaviour. Imagine how frightened the child must have been.

MrsBlarney Sat 24-Sep-11 19:59:00

Oh no I don't think this is a good thing at all

Some people don't think it's damaging to leave a baby to cry for ten, twenty minutes...controlled crying and so on. I think it's appalling whatever the reason. (emergencies excepted)

NinkyNonker Sat 24-Sep-11 20:01:51

Yeah, we don't 'do' crying if it can be avoided so risk of dd waking and being scared for any period of time would ve enough to put me off this if nothing else.

Blindcavesalamander Sat 24-Sep-11 20:07:53

It is not only unkind it is reall, REALLY dangerous. Many babies and toddlers have died after being left alone in cars. I was going to post an article but when I googled it there were so many examples I felt overwhelmed. It's something to never be done. If you google "Baby dies after being left in car" you will see what I mean.

AChickenCalledKorma Sat 24-Sep-11 20:10:56

Blindcavesalamander beat me to it. The baby could have died. The parents were well out of order to leave her for that long. If it took them 20minutes to realise that their child was crying, I'd say that was a pretty clear case of neglect. If they heard her crying and decided to leave her to it for 20 minutes, that's even worse sad

RitaMorgan Sat 24-Sep-11 20:13:51

Not odd or unusual, more cruel and neglectful.

NinkyNonker Sat 24-Sep-11 20:13:58

That's what we thought, it was a hot day and the car was in the open window doesn't do much in a sheltered car park.

SingingSands Sat 24-Sep-11 20:16:58

How awful for the baby. And awful for you too, because if it was me I would want to say something, let the couple know that it was not good parenting, but like you I would probably say nothing so as not to cause a scene or get a punch in the face...

NinkyNonker Sat 24-Sep-11 20:21:37

I did think we ought to say something, but were too surprised...we didn't quite know what we were seeing, if that makes sense? Like we didn't really believe someone could be so cruel, and stupid.

OnEdge Sat 24-Sep-11 20:26:34

blindcavesalamander I just googled that and it has overwhelmed me too, so so sad.

SingingSands Sat 24-Sep-11 20:28:02

Oh no, don't google it - much too sad. Such a preventable thing. sad

NinkyNonker Sat 24-Sep-11 20:31:43

I'm too much of a dweller to Google it, I'm trying very hard to quash my anxieties as I get older and am a mother and that wouldn't help!

TidyDancer Sat 24-Sep-11 20:34:32

Totally unacceptable. sad

Icelollycraving Sat 24-Sep-11 20:37:45

Oh no,how awful. Maybe that would give them a wake up call to not do it again. I would have said something tbh. Idiots.

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