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AIBU?

To be utterly ashamed and desperately guilty that DD has just had to have 3 fillings?

46 replies

DarcyBee · 13/09/2011 18:17

As a child I was allowed sweets once a week and now have pretty good teeth. DH was allowed free rein and subsequently had 4 rotten front teeth bby the age of 4.

I thought I would be less militant than my parents with my DC's and allowed them biscuits and chocolate - no sweets or fizzy/sugary drinks though.

DD is 6 and has just had 3 fillings, we now allow them a chocolate bar on saturdays but I feel terrible.

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HuwEdwards · 13/09/2011 18:20

Maybe it's more about brushing did the dentist give you any advice about supervising and if necessary helping?

Either way, I think you're either being a bit dramatic or being very harsh on yourself Smile. Presumably she's had baby teeth filled, so at least she has a second chance.

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squeakytoy · 13/09/2011 18:21

I rarely ate sweets as a child, by my own choice, because I didnt really like sweet things. I still needed fillings though. I did have to have a lot of medication though, due to a recurring throat infection. Medicine last thing at night was probably the cause of my tooth decay.

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worraliberty · 13/09/2011 18:22

Well some kids do have stronger teeth than others...and some dentists are more 'filling happy' than others.

A lot of dentists don't bother filling baby teeth unless they're causing some discomfort/pain and some prefer to pull them out.

Hard to say really...as long as you know you're looking after them as best you can.

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DarcyBee · 13/09/2011 18:22

Sorry yes I am being dramatic, I just felt like such a dick when he gave me a Hmm and asked whether I let them drink coke and fizzy drinks

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bucaneve · 13/09/2011 18:23

If you make your children brush their teeth twice a day which I'm sure you do then don't feel bad DarcyBee. I think most people are like you in allowing their kids biscuits and chocolate but not sweets or fizzy drinks.

Some people just have genetically weaker teeth than others. I had a filling or two buy that age and the dentist told my mum that it wasn't her fault (i.e. my diet was fine and he could see I brushed my teeth properly) and I just had weak teeth.

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VegetablePatch · 13/09/2011 18:23

YANBU to feel bad, but try not to beat yourself up too much, think about how you can help her look after her teeth well from now on.

It doesn't sound like you've done anything too bad by allowing her to have biscuits and chocolate. You don't mention oral hygiene though- is DD brushing her teeth at least twice a day, has she been shown how to brush properly, etc.? An alcohol free mouthwash after something sugary (if you're at home) might be an idea (but not brushing). Does she know not to brush straight after having fruit, orange juice etc.? Does she know not to have fruit or juice straight before going to bed?

You've caught the problem in time, so please don't feel too ashamed and guilty.

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whackamole · 13/09/2011 18:23

I also think it is more about brushing. I didn't drink anything apart from orange juice once I stopped breast-feeding, had fizzy drinks and sweets and tomato ketchup. I never had a filling until I was 18, and I'm pretty sure that was my fault!

Also, don't brush too soon after eating. It takes half an hour for the natural enzymes to start neutralising the bad stuff, so don't brush that away.

But don't feel too bad. It happens! My OH is the same as yours BTW - negligent mother (literally) he has a mouth full of metal now.

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elegangle · 13/09/2011 18:23

Don't feel bad. Some peoples teeth are just more resilient than others. I don't have the best of teeth but practise excellent oral hygiene. I spoke to a dentist about it and he informed me that teeth are really affected by genetics. If your DH has poor teeth then there is a good chance that your children will too.
Having just read that through it sounds like terrible advice...sorry about that. I guess what I want to say is that it is not your fault, don't beat yourself up over this. Just make sure she brushes properly twice a day. Do you use an electric toothbrush? What exactly did the dentist say?

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DarcyBee · 13/09/2011 18:24

He said biscuits are one of the worst things as they stick to the teeth

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DarcyBee · 13/09/2011 18:25

He said keep brushing twice a day and lay of the sugar! Oh and always dilute natural fruit juice with lots of water which we do anyway

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HuwEdwards · 13/09/2011 18:26

well I guess with the remark about fizzy drinks was going down the blindingly bloody obvious route, but a half-decent diet and thorough brushing twice a day goes a long way to reducing the damage to teeth.

You know you can get (furiously expensive) kids mouthwash? Might help a bit if the brushing isn't perfect.

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HuwEdwards · 13/09/2011 18:28

and dried fruit (which my 2 ate their own body weight in) is apparently the food of the cavity-devil. Stick to teeth like shit to a blanket Grin

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Grumpystiltskin · 13/09/2011 18:30

Biscuits & chocolate = sugary drinks sadly. Refined Sugar is refined sugar & whilst YABU to beat yourself up over it, you wouldn't BU to stop the sugary things. Once or twice a week or only at mealtimes is fine. It's not the amount of sugar, it's the number of times a day that is the charmer. Whether you brush your teeth or not.

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Fayrazzled · 13/09/2011 18:32

My dentist doesn't recommend mouthwash (even the so called children's mouthwash) for children. He says if you are brushing correctly (preferably with an electric toothbrush, then the mouthwash adds nothing of benefit).

OP- do you have fluoride added to your water locally? We don't in my area and the dentist uses fluoride gel on the children's molars, which can heklp to reduce cavities.

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Feminine · 13/09/2011 18:32

Don't feel bad.

One of mine was born with no enamel on his back teeth,now is capped to high heaven.

One has no problems ,although he has the oral hygiene habits of a monkey!

My youngest has to have 2 tiny fillings as two of her baby teeth have very deep grooves.

Here in the US I have never been made to feel bad ,I appreciate that as I have always been very careful with brushing and flossing.

The good news is, my poor capped son has excellent second teeth,with no deep grooves or problems.

I suspect your DD will be fine too:)

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coccyx · 13/09/2011 18:35

wow that is a lot.

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Feminine · 13/09/2011 18:41

coccyx Confused

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DarcyBee · 13/09/2011 18:48

Can anyone recommend calorific food which doesn't rot teeth or contain nasty additives.. ?

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DarcyBee · 13/09/2011 18:49

We've wittled it down to rice cakes with butter, apples, cheese, ham & homous!

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Grumpystiltskin · 13/09/2011 18:51

I second the post re brushing properly being a hundred fold more useful than mouthwash. Think of brushing as like cleaning your shoes with a brush. Just rinsing them with water (the mouthwash) won't help at all.

You could ask about the Fluoride varnish. Recent studies have shown that those who have Fluoride varnish (paste, usually tastes like banana) applied by a dental professional (dentist, hygienist, nurse) twice a year have 66% less decay than those who don't. That's even for adults.

Cheese is great for teeth btw!

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Sharney · 13/09/2011 18:53

What Femimine said about deep grooves. Very true! Mine are like canyons and I've had terrible problems. Nothing to do with oral hygiene. Just bad luck.

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Avinalarf · 13/09/2011 18:59

I had a mouthful of sisters as a child, my sister had none. I didn't much like sweets and brushed my teeth religiously. She ate Fireballs and Sherbet dabs by the bucketload and often 'forgot' to brush. Some people do just have weaker teeth than others.

Supervise brushing or brush for him, though. My 6 yr old is very slap dash with teeth cleaning and I do think at that age they still need a lot of guidance.

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Avinalarf · 13/09/2011 18:59

a mouthful of sisters? I meant a mouthful of fillings! I hope that wasn't a Freudian slip Grin

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Grumpystiltskin · 13/09/2011 19:19

Made me laugh though!!

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sarahtigh · 13/09/2011 19:35

second grumpystiltskin cheese is great to finish meal frequency of sugar intake generally more important than quantity if eat sweets best to eat all at once after diiner. the sticky the sweet etc the worse it is

sugar + bacteria = acid which decays teeth
fizzy drinks whether full version or diet are very acidic so bacteria dont even have to bother converting to acid to rot teeth, having very acidic drinks like pure grapefruit juice as well as fizzy and then brushing teeth immediately actually thins enamel you should have something like toast with the grapefruit juice for breakfast or eat cheese to neutralise acid then brush teeth otherwise wait 30 minutes

children generally need help to adequately clean teeth till age 7

fluoride varnish is really good

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