To think we're over-thinking the starting school business?(18 Posts)
These last few weeks leading up to the new term starting, everywhere you look (newspapers, magazines, radio etc) has something on starting school for the first time. How the child copes, how the parents cope, so-called 'playground politics', how to help children get settled, what a big step it is, what uniform/equipment you need, name tapes, home visits by teachers etc..... I think someone's even written a whole book about how to 'survive'.
Years ago children started school without all this fuss. There were no home visits and parents didn't stress about talking to other mums in the playground. Children just went to school and that was it.
Yes it is a big step but you would think you're sending your child to somewhere really awful. The majority of children settle in quickly to school life and enjoy it. I think if you make too much fuss the child picks up on this and creates anxiety!
YANBU. DS started school 12 years ago and I don't remember it being a massive deal; we enjoyed buying the uniform and I took a photo of him on his first day, but didn't occur to us that dh should take time off to take him into school, Ijust handed him over at the gate with everyone else and it was just a slightly more exciting version of a normal day.
I'm sick to death of hearing about it, myself. The anxiety and the tears.....and that's just the parents!
YABU. Apart from the usual big displays of stationery and uniforms in the shops, I'm really not conscious of starting school being 'everywhere you look'. I don't read magazines and I must have missed any references on R4. We had a big list of uniform and equipment to buy like everyone else but with the possible exception of a slightly tetchy 'how to tie a tie' lesson this morning... it's been relaxed and fuss-free.
YANBU - but I think it's the way a lot of "parenting" has gone over the last 10 or 15 years. People used to just muddle through, with some input from friends and family, and that was considered normal. Now, unless you are checking every decision with a forum or a guru-written book there are people who will think you are being negligent. If you are (whisper) a bit middle-class anyway. I'm sure there are still plenty of parents who don't fret about these things the same way, and rely on their close friends and family like everyone used to.
Just because you didn't have the fuss didn't mean that the child wasn't anxious, that the parents weren't anxious, that the playground politics didn't exist - they do - it's just that we all talk about these things much more now. I'm sure though, that, notwithstanding these things, the majority of us know what to buy, how to stick a name tape on the clothing, pack a lunch and comfort our children if they're feeling a bit wobbly without a book to show us what to do. We probably also know how to make polite chit chat with other mums and simply "get on with it". The media hype these things up and I think the majority of us (sensible types) just ignore it....that said, I don't think I've noticed much "going back to school" stuff around other than seeing new stuff in the shops and supermarkets.
YABU i remember when i started school (many moons ago) we had a home visit from the school, we went to visit and the same happened with secondary - my form tutor came to visit and gave out a list of 5 names and telephone numbers of people who were going to be in the same form group.
I dont like how they were talking about 'back to school' before they'd even broken up though!
when my sons started school it was a big day
but not as big as it was made out to be when daughter started 7 years later
when R and G started it was a wave at the door and a big smile from the kids and parents
but when T started omg there where kids screamimg, parents crying, teachers trying to get a kid off a mums leg. all of this took place inside the classroom as we where to take them in to help settle them?!?!? this turned out to be the most stressful time for both of us, she was soo excited about going then when she witnessed all this she was bloody terrified
The word 'cope' pisses me off tbh. It makes everything negative imo.
It is very over-used these days everywhere i.e. 'will we cope on holidays?' , '26 degrees tommorow, how will we cope?', 'did you go to tesco, how did you cope?', 'we are painting the house, will the dcs cope with the change? ' .
Fgs these are pleasant, happy events.
Someone that one person will enjoy and look forward to will, for someone else, be something to endure and cope with.
I really don't think it needs to be a huge thing with both parents taking the day off work!!
I think someone's even written a whole book about how to 'survive'.
LOL, is it on the recommended MN must read list
every other amateur psychologist's crap seems to be
i remember my first day like it was yesterday
dont remember even having a uniform then, never had been to nursery or away from my mum for even a morning either. She just said goodbye at the gate and that was it. I remember trying not to cry, but was a bit frightened cos one boy kicked the teacher and tried to escape and she had to bolt the door LOL. My dad probably didnt even know it was my first day - he certainly would not have taken a day off work or even had a second thought about it.
I agree with the OTT fuss on the supposed "Big Day". DS is my youngest and is starting next week and it is not a big deal really. Of course it is exciting for him but people keep saying "Oh you are going to bawl when you leave him!". Um no I'm not, he is starting school not moving to another country! I didn't cry when DD started either nor when she left nursery, finished reception etc etc. I will drop him off, show him where everything is then when he is happy I'll go home. DH won't be coming with me there is no need for him to take the morning off work fgs plus everyone else seems to do that and there is not enough room for children, teacher and 60 parents in a classroom!
'Back to school' does seem to have become an even in itself in recent years. When I was little, we just went back to school, nowdays that phrase seems to be used differntly somehow. I'm not sure how exactly, can't put my finger on it, but I sense it!
There was a thread a few weeks back where the 4 yr old was getting in a state about it-which wasn't surprising- the poor thing had THE UNIFORM the LUNCH BOX and BIG SCHOOL etc talked about and made a lot of.Much better to keep it low key, not make a big deal and just treat it as any other day.
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