Was at a family wedding last week (my family). Me and DH had already agreed that he would take the children (3.6 and 6 months) home from the reception early as they would be tired. I would get a taxi home later. DH had no problem with this, it would have been nice if DH could have stayed but our usual babysitters are my nan and grandad, who were obviously at the wedding.
DH was getting ready to leave at about 7.45, DD was getting very fidgety as she is used to going to be between 6.30-7.00 so it was late for her. I said bye and sat back down. My grandad then asked why I wasn't going home with my family. I said my family was here and DH was happy to take the children home and put them to bed. I was in a happy mood, had had a couple glasses of wine so was pretty lighthearted about the whole thing. He then said I was a bad mother (in a joking way). I know he is a very old fashioned man and he finds it astounding that my friends and I are married with children yet we still go on the odd night out, he did ask me before if that is the way I should behave, I just laughed at him.
I do know what he is like, we have a good relationship, he and my nan brought me up and he has been very very good to me, I can't fault him apart from how strict he was with me when I was younger, I think even he knows he went too far sometimes.
Even though I know he said it as a joke, it still rankles a bit. I did say it to others and they gasped but I said "oh he was only joking" I also thought I looked a bit fat in the photos as I still have a bit of baby weight but I am down to a size 12, but as someone who has always been slim, I feel a little bit big. I said it and he said "yes you are fat" again in a joking way.
I am someone who takes things to heart and I HATE having the micky taken out of me. The men in my family have always done it and I do feel ganged upon sometimes. My 'mother' abandoned me when I was 4 (at my grandparents) and she WAS a bad mother. I am not and I don't see that staying at a family wedding (the first time in years and years that my family had actually been together).
Am a being a bit sensitive about it?
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AIBU?
I know it was said as a joke, but AIBU to actually feel hurt over this?
21 replies
PotterWatch · 28/08/2011 22:32
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